tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20417921913476339852024-03-14T02:07:43.337-07:00Becoming Complete in ChristA Guide To Overcoming ChallengesBaretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-87763585477215644892012-10-18T07:40:00.001-07:002012-10-18T07:40:31.065-07:00Overcoming a Pornography Addiction<br />
<i>The following comes from a brother in the ward who has struggled with a pornography addiction. He recounts his story and how it has damaged his relationship with his spouse. He also offers some advice to those who are struggling as he is. I appreciate his willingness to share his experiences for the benefit of other ward members. </i><br />
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<i>Though he does not reveal his name you should know that the challenge of pornography addiction is not uncommon and his feelings are very much in line with what other men have shared with me. I appreciate his desire to share his story in hopes of preventing another man from making the choices he has made. </i><br />
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<i>Shortly you will read about a longing to go back and make different choices. You will read about the regret of missed opportunities. Finally you will read about a man whose heart is broken as he comes to grips with the damage he has caused to his marriage. I know, because I am working with this couple, that they are well on their way to restoring hope and healing the damage that has been caused. I have full confidence that their marriage will last, it will grow, and they will do great things in the community, the church, and with their children. I hope you find this account uplifting, encouraging and if you too struggle with an addiction as proof that you can overcome too. </i><br />
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"I never meant for life to be this way. If I would have known to what extent pornography would destroy my life, I like to believe that I would have ran as far and as fast away from it as possible. But I didn’t, and now what my life could have been is gone.<br />
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When I first saw a pornographic image I was about nine or ten years old. I was at a friend’s house who was a few years older than me and we use to spend a lot of time together. One day he told me that the wanted to show me something on the internet he found. It was pornography. At first I was disgusted, I knew instantly that there was something wrong about what I was seeing but for some reason, despite all inclinations otherwise, I kept looking. That first time I felt a sense of euphoria that I had never felt before, it was as if something had taken control of my brain and made me feel like I was on a cloud. I was hooked, but I didn’t know it. I started seeking it out at home when my parents and siblings weren’t home. I remember running home from school in order to get there before everyone else arrived and then indulging in whatever pornography I could find with a click of a mouse. This went on everyday for years. I can scarcely remember a day in my youth that I did not view pornography. I was very careful about covering my tracks, I came to understand all of the intricacies of a search engine, search history’s, cookies, temporary internet files even router configurations. I knew exactly how to make it so that if anyone ever logged in to the computer, they would never have any idea that I was viewing pornography. I remember one time when I must have visited a site that installed a virus on our home computer. My Mom logged in one day only to find some pornographic pop-ups all over the screen. She was horrified and quite shaken, I still remember to this day her tears as she described to me how awful it was to have seen those images. My Mom hesitantly asked me if I had seen any of that. I passionately responded that I had never ever seen pornography, that it was one of my friends who must have used me to view pornography on our computer. I told my Mom that I would find out who it was and have him confess so that it could all get cleared up. I framed one of my friends because I couldn’t face telling my Mom it was me. I was never allowed to see that friend ever again, I don’t think to this day he understands why our friendship fell apart. After that incidence I was a lot more careful, I think I even considered stopping to look at pornography because I saw how much it hurt my Mom. It didn’t matter though, I was hooked, it was the only thing that got me through hard teenage years and I couldn’t stop.<br />
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When I was 14 years old my addictive behavior was still rampant. My parents never suspected anything, I was a straight A student, was always on the honor roll, was in the school band, was playing club soccer and basketball but more than anything, I was spent hours upon hours playing video games. My parents were somewhat grateful, they would always say that they would rather have me at home playing video games then out with my friends drinking and doing drugs. I rationalized that my pornography addiction was much better than my friends that were drinking and doing drugs, at least, I would say to myself, at least I’m not hurting anyone else. How wrong and foolish I was to think that I was only hurting myself. That same year I found myself getting in to a new video game called World of Warcraft. The premise of this game is to have players build up a virtual character in a virtual world. This game for me as a chubby, nerdy teenage boy was like a whole new drug to sink my time into. I began to play this game for easily over 8 hours a day, sometimes even up to 12. My pornography addiction began to become more and more intense. My days would consist of playing World of Warcraft and at any time that I found myself frustrated I would turn to pornography for instant relief. I found myself losing interest in school, sports and especially the church. Yet I paid careful attention to keeping up my appearances. Leaders at church thought that I was a shining example to the rest of the young men, I was known for being the kid who would deliver “powerful” talks and was near perfect. I was the success story of the ward: the part member family kid who was living the Gospel the way it should always be lived. But more than all, I was a great liar. I knew exactly what to say and how to say it, I almost had a sick sense of pleasure in being able to persuade people to think like I did, or at least to think that I had it all together. As I think about that young man I can’t help but feel sick to my stomach. Truly, I was past feeling, I was so very lost.<br />
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I was 17 when my addiction took a turn for the worse when my Dad insisted that I have a computer in my room. I was elated at the prospect because that meant that I could distance myself away from everyone around me even more. It meant that I wouldn’t have to look over my shoulder when I was destroying my mind with porn. It also meant that I could play my video games as much as I wanted. I was a senior in high school by that time. I had long shaggy curls, acne, would always overeat and therefore was significantly overweight and wore the same baggy shorts or jeans with a t-shirt almost every day. I was always at odds with all of my family, I never had anything nice to say. I was angry almost all the time, any little thing could set me off. I would have screaming matches with my Mom and Dad quite often. One time it even came to blows with my Dad. I would swat my sisters if they ever bothered me. I hated the world around me and I think more than anything I had a profound hate… for me. Senior year I had a crush on a girl who didn’t love me back. I saw that she liked guys who drank and smoked and partied on the weekends. One night at one of my friends houses I saw that his parents had alcohol in the pantry. I was depressed that this girl had seemingly denied my existence. Because of this and my lack of self-esteem, I began to drink. It opened up a whole new world of “adventures” for me, all my friends were drinking and I found myself accepted by a new group of friends that I felt truly understood who I was. I never drank for the sake of drinking, I drank to get drunk… completely drunk. The drinking then led to drugs, specifically marijuana. More often then not they were used in conjuction. I remember spending these days in a substance filled daze. My parents, the entire time, had no idea what was going on. Just like pornography, I was very very good at covering my tracks. During these times I decided that I would apply to BYU because it seemed like the easiest school to get into. I lied my way through all of the worthiness interviews and cheated my way through seminary. I had elected to do “home-study” and all I did was do passable work for a teacher who was more bent on getting me to BYU then trying to be strict with me on seminary. I failed to become an Eagle Scout because I lost all interest for scouting, this has been one of my greatest regrets and failures.<br />
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The day I got into BYU I was elated, at the same time I was informed that once I was accepted to BYU, as long as I passed my required classes in high school, nothing would alter my acceptance. I took this bit of information as a free pass to literally do nothing in school. I took the easiest classes, and spent only the time that was necessary to pass with a C-. All I lived for was World of Warcraft, drinking, drugs and my full blown pornography addiction. During these times it was not uncommon to be indulging in pornography at least 3 to 5 times a day. My activity in the church during those days was the bare minimum. I never attended activities and did the very least that I could all the while maintaining appearances for the rich and well connected families in my ward. In my mind, life was good.<br />
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One night, as my friend dropped me off after a heavy day of partying, I felt a crippling sense of hopelessness. It was about 6 months after I had started this new party life of mine that this happened. I remember, in my drunk and drugged daze, making my way to our local park and breaking down crying on a hillside. I lied there on the grass looking up at the stars and wondering what had become of my life, wondering what I stood for, wondering if God even knew what I was doing. I thought of all the times I told myself that I would never drink, I would never do drugs. I remember trying to pray but nothing came out. I remember falling asleep and forgetting all about it.<br />
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In this new life I also committed some terrible sexual sins. It seemed to be part of the process. I found myself to be attractive to some girls at these parties that I went to. I took advantage of these situations and did things all in the name of “fun.” I never had feelings for any of these girls, it was carnal, and we both knew it. There were no expectations, no relationships, there was no caring, no love. Pornography had in large part dictated my carnal desires for these girls. It brought me to do things that were abominable. Yet for some reason, despite all of this I remained a virgin. Or at least, I remained what would be considered a virgin to the world. I was by no means pure in the sight of God.<br />
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I remember having my last drink of alcohol, my last cigarette and my last joint before going off to BYU. I remember laughing with my friends saying that maybe this was a good thing, that I needed to be a sober Mormon for a bit that maybe that would straighten me out. For some reason the thought of being sober comforted me, but it was quickly replaced my a hopelessness that that could never be.<br />
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When I arrived at BYU I saw thousands of young men and woman who looked healthy and happy. They looked so clean and pure at first I didn’t know quite what to make of it. There I was, an overweight addict stepping in to an environment full of confident young people that seemed to have their heads on straight. I remember that my first reaction to this new environment was that of anger, I dismissed all of these people as being “orthodox crazy Mormons,” I immediately labeled them as judgmental and self-righteous. I took care to stay away from as many people as I could and there in my dorm room when my roommate was out, I would continue to indulge in pornography. I tried to seek out the same crowds that I had known back in my senior year of high school. I found very little people like that. I was already depressed but I found myself sinking in even more acute depression.<br />
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Then life took an interesting turn, I was called as Elder’s Quorum President of my ward. Of course, I had lied my way through all of the interviews when I arrived to BYU but I had made sure to infer that I was not fit for any calling or position. I was called as EQP and an overwhelming sense of guilt crept up in me. I was not about to blow my cover so I went through the motions of doing everything I could to keep up appearances. Nonetheless, I hated the fact that I was given this responsibility, I tried to pray about things but it seemed that nothing ever worked. I felt that I was even more lost than I could possible imagine. One night I was at a dance party with a crowd that was a bit rougher than the average BYU student. I remember telling some people all about the things I’d done in an attempt to be accepted and viewed as cool guy. Then, my first counselor in my Elder’s Quorum Presidency, who I had chosen most likely because I could relate to him, called me out in front of everyone at the party. He called me a hypocrite for being the EQP and then telling the world about my riotous life. He called me a liar. I was furious when he said that, we were on the verge of fighting and then something deep inside me told me to walk away, not only to walk away but to run away. That’s what I did. I ran, then got tired and walked. It started to rain and I was freezing. Yet, my walk back was a turning point for me. As I walked back alone in the dark freezing rain my hopelessness and depression seemed to well up inside me and burst. I was tired of living my life of lies, I was tired of drinking, smoking and pornography, I was tired of lying to my friends and family, I was tired of hating myself and I was tired of not knowing who God was. I was crushed, I was broken. I rushed back to my dorm room and grabbed my Book of Mormon and ran to the BYU bell tower. There I read and prayed with what seemed to be all my heart. I read and prayed and asked God to stop the rain. I asked God to show me a sign that he was there. The rain didn’t stop.<br />
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For the next month I read the Book of Mormon and prayed with a new determination that I didn’t even know existed. I cried a lot, I seemed broken. In my mind, I wondered if God could ever forgive such a rotten case such as me. I didn’t have much hope that he could, but I was bent on trying.<br />
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One night, alone in my dorm room I had read the Book of Mormon and was getting on my knees to pray. That night, something felt different. I felt truly sorry for all the things that I had done. My heart was utterly shattered, and I turned to God for answers. The experience that I had is too sacred to share on paper. It is the moment that has defined my life. It is the turning point of my life. I received the most powerful witness of my life that God was indeed there for me, I felt that Jesus Christ was indeed the Son of God, I felt that the Book of Mormon was true, and more than anything… I felt forgiven.<br />
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At that time I had no desire to ever commit sin again. I rejoiced in God, I rejoiced in the scriptures. It seemed that for the first time in my life I was truly reading the word of God. I applied it to my life. I had never been happier in my entire life. My prayers were real, I felt God near. Pornography was disgusting to me and I stayed away from it completely. Yet, I felt a constant need to talk to my Bishop but I never did. Only two or three months after this life changing experience I felt back into pornography. I had never been so devastated in my life because for the first time I knew with perfect clarity that what I had done was devastatingly wrong. I had disappointed God, and the hurt that this caused was so great. I fell back into the all consuming cycle of pornography. I rationalize that God would forgive me again. I rationalized that no one had to know. And that is how I left on my mission.<br />
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I was at the MTC for only one month and the guilt of everything I had done consumed me. I spoke to my priesthood leaders at the MTC and was sent home. I had done what was right, I confessed my sins. Now was my time to forsake them. Though this experience was the most difficult in my entire life I look back and see that I grew more from this than anything else. I wanted to make things right and I did everything I possibly could to make it right. I worked hard. I prayed hard. And I went back out.<br />
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My mission was without question the most incredible two years of my life. I was free from sin, completely devoted to the Lord’s work and more than anything, I was truly happy. I love my mission. I love all the people I served. I felt clean and worthy for the first time in my life, I felt guided by the Spirit. I felt whole.<br />
When I returned from my mission I was committed to living the truths that I had come to know so profoundly. I was only back for maybe a month and I viewed pornography. Again, I felt back into a vicious cycle. When I returned to BYU, a fresh return missionary with a pornography addiction, I don’t think I had ever felt so depressed in my life. I hated myself and what I was doing more than ever, but this time around I decided to do something about it right away. I spoke to priesthood leaders and I did all that I could to curb this addiction. I saw progress but it didn’t last for long. I dated but I never had any hope in ever marrying anyone, what kind of girl would ever want to marry a porn addict like me?<br />
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A year passed by and I met a girl that I fell madly in love with. The feeling was mutual and we began to date quite steadily. Because of my pornography addiction I pushed her into doing things that were not meant to be expressed before marriage. I feel responsible for some terrible sins that I caused us to commit. My pornography addiction continued but she thought it was in the past. I told her that it was my present and it devastated her more than anything I had ever said or done. I told her it would never happen again. It did. It devastated her even further. Because of a variety of bad reasons we decided not to confess our sexual transgression and instead got married in the temple unworthily. What was supposed to be a happy occasion was one of great remorse and guilt for us.<br />
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Just a few months after we were married I fell back into pornography. My wife turns to hurting herself to numb the pain she is feeling. She doesn’t trust me, she is afraid of me constantly, she cries herself to sleep often. She thinks she is ugly and dismisses anything I say to tell her that she’s beautiful. If you knew her you would know that’s so far from the truth, she is the most gorgeous girl in the world. But because of my pornography addiction, she feels ugly and worthless.<br />
<br />
We now have confessed our sins and are working with a bishop to get salvage what’s left of our marriage and our lives. Pornography has almost ruined our marriage and our lives. Despite all this I know to my very core that pornography will no longer be a part of our lives. I know this because the Lord lives and His Atonement is real. I know this because I love my wife too much to see her go. I know this because I am doing everything possible to not put myself in a situation to be tempted and succumb to those temptations. Everything changes here and now. No more will pornography destroy the beauties of life around me. The Atonement of Jesus Christ has overcome all of this, I either tap into this great power or watch everything I love crumble around me. The choice is ours to make and no the way isn’t easy but it was never meant to be easy. I know God’s love can overcome this, I know that one day my wife will trust me again. I know that we can be happy together one day.<br />
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It was never meant to be this way, but there is always a better brighter way. I am choosing that way, and with God’s help, and sweet forgiveness that way will be here to stay. I will never have to write another chapter about pornography again. The chapters of our lives will be filled with happiness, it will be filled with everything that God has intended for us.<br />
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Learn from my experience. Please do something about your pornography problem right now. Don’t let it come to this. The Lord will bless you in your trials, let him lift you up."<br />
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Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-62421278947211508992012-10-13T19:23:00.002-07:002012-10-13T19:23:44.838-07:00Temple Ordinances and CovenantsHere is a great talk given by Elder Hales on this topic.<br />
<br />
<script src="http://player.ooyala.com/player.js?video_pcode=Iyamk6YZTw8DxrC60h0fQipg3BfO&view=normal&embedCode=F0OGZ2MjpygWCSZwkPj5MylIvedFSLeJ&width=640&transition=play&height=360&deepLinkEmbedCode=F0OGZ2MjpygWCSZwkPj5MylIvedFSLeJ&hide=null&loop=0"></script>Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-42953918413100840282012-10-11T10:05:00.000-07:002012-10-11T10:05:02.202-07:00Some Recent Bishop Experiences<br />
The following two experiences happened in the last month. I wrote them down at the time and today reread them. I thought they were general enough that I could share them here. They might even be as faith promoting for those who read them as they were for me.<br />
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<b>Experience from my journal #1</b><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
"There are times when it becomes very clear to me that I truly have been given the mantle of Bishop. Today while sitting on the stand during sacrament meeting, I noticed a brother seated near the back of the chapel. He was dressed appropriately and by all outward appearances a good faithful member of the church. In spite of him looking like he fit in, I had an immediate and clear impression that there was something wrong with him, not in the sense that I thought he had unconfessed sin, which is an impression that I have had about other ward members, but in the sense that "he was dangerous". The impression was so strong that it startled me. Over the next 10 minutes, I continually had the impression to look at the brother, I didn't know who he was. He appeared to be engaged in having friendly conversations with those around him, he was even making faces and waving at the children near him. There was a member of the stake presidency seated on the stand with me. I sent him a text explaining what I had felt and asked what he thought I should do. He replied "do what the spirit is telling you". I replied "I don't know what the spirit is telling me, it's just warning me about this new brother". Sacrament passed and as it came to a conclusion the promptings were still there warning me of the "danger of this man". I suggested to my first counselor that between the two of us, we would get down off the stand, keep an eye on him and follow him wherever he went. Unfortunately as is often the case with trying to get down of the stand to talk to a specific individual, both our ways were obstructed by various ward members. By the time we reached the back, he was gone. At first I thought maybe I was just imagining things, then I was approached by a member of the ward who shared a very disheartening encounter they had just had with him. I knew immediately again that what I had been feeling was from the Spirit and we began an immediate and earnest search to find him. Throughout the rest of the day, he would leave the building, visit other ward buildings return to our ward building etc. all in a search as we came to find out to take advantage of the innocent. The police eventually became involved and were able to find him. In conclusion... I have never experienced the Spirit warning me as the Bishop that someone who looked faithful was actually very dangerous. I will do my best in the future to not doubt these promptings if they come again. I am also grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who through a Bishop provided the means of protecting the innocent while maintaining the dignity of the Sunday meetings. Everything that transpired was done quickly, effectively and with dignity in relative quiet."<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p><b>Experience from my journal #2:</b></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"This evening in a disciplinary council, again I felt the clear and undeniable influence of the Spirit upon one who is the Bishop while sharing the outcome and decision of the council, my mind was flooded with one phrase after the other. One scripture after the other... Some of the scriptures I couldn't remember the verse, but I was able to quote it word for word. A couple of verses did come to mind and I went and read those to the individual. Over about a 5 minute period, the majority of what I was counseling this individual was word for word straight from the Spirit. I know I was not manufacturing those sentences, I know I was not coming up with those scriptural chains. I was quite conscious of this fact.It was both startling to me and amazingly sweet. I kept saying the words that were coming and then it ended. I could still feel the Spirit, but the clear words and scriptures had stopped. Afterwards I found myself marveling at the experience and longing for it to continue. The experience of receiving pure revelation from the Spirit in real time is amazing. This too shows me that in spite of me being just an ordinary guy, the call of a Bishop provides a unique conduit between heaven and earth. I am tired and ready for bed. Amen."</div>
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Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-86726465216424096572012-10-09T22:22:00.003-07:002012-10-09T22:22:51.220-07:00The Influence of Righteous Women<br />
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<a href="http://www.lds.org/liahona/2009/09/the-influence-of-righteous-women?lang=eng"><span style="font-size: large;">The Influence of Righteous Women</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
BY PRESIDENT DIETER F. UCHTDORF</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Second Counselor in the First Presidency</div>
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<b>The Influence of Righteous Women</b><br />
The scriptures give us names of several women who have blessed individuals and generations with their spiritual gifts. Eve, the mother of all living; Sarah; Rebekah; Rachel; Martha; Elisabeth; and Mary, the mother of our Savior, will always be honored and remembered. The scriptures also mention women whose names are unknown to us but who bless our lives through their examples and teachings, like the woman of Samaria whom Jesus met at the well of Sychar (see John 4), the ideal wife and mother described in Proverbs 31, and the faithful woman who was made whole just by touching the Savior’s clothes (see Mark 5:25–34).<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">As we look at the history of this earth and at the history of the restored Church of Jesus Christ, it becomes obvious that women hold a special place in our Father’s plan for the eternal happiness and well-being of His children.</span><br />
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I hope that my dear sisters throughout the world—grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and friends—never underestimate the power of their influence for good, especially in the lives of our precious children and youth!<br />
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President Heber J. Grant (1856–1945) said, “<span style="background-color: yellow;">Without the devotion and absolute testimony of the living God in the hearts of our mothers, this Church would die</span>.” 1 And the writer of Proverbs said, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).<br />
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President Gordon B. Hinckley counseled the women of the Church:<br />
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“<span style="background-color: yellow;">It is so tremendously important that the women of the Church stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord. …</span><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: yellow;">“We call upon the women of the Church to stand together for righteousness. They must begin in their own homes. They can teach it in their classes. They can voice it in their communities.</span>” 2<br />
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There is a saying that big gates move on small hinges. Sisters, your example in seemingly small things will make a big difference in the lives of our young people. The way you dress and groom yourselves, the way you talk, the way you pray, the way you testify, the way you live every day will make the difference. This includes which TV shows you watch, which music you prefer, and how you use the Internet. If you love to go to the temple, the young people who value your example will also love to go. If you adapt your wardrobe to the temple garment and not the other way around, they will know what you consider important, and they will learn from you.<br />
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You are marvelous sisters and great examples. Our youth are blessed by you, and the Lord loves you for that.<br />
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<b>An Example of Faith</b><br />
Let me share some thoughts about Sister Carmen Reich, my mother-in-law, who was truly an elect lady. She embraced the gospel in a most difficult and dark time of her life, and she liberated herself from grief and sorrow.<br />
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As a young woman—a widow and the mother of two young girls—she freed herself from a world of old traditions and moved into a world of great spirituality. She embraced the teachings of the gospel, with its intellectual and spiritual power, on a fast track. When the missionaries gave her the Book of Mormon and invited her to read the verses they had marked, she read the whole book within only a few days. She learned things beyond the understanding of her peers because she learned them by the Spirit of God. She was the humblest of the humble, the wisest of the wise, because she was willing and pure enough to believe when God had spoken.<br />
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She was baptized on November 7, 1954. Only a few weeks after her baptism, she was asked by the missionary who baptized her to write her testimony. The missionary wanted to use her testimony in his teaching to help others feel the true spirit of conversion. Fortunately, the missionary kept the handwritten original for more than 40 years, and then he returned it to her as a very special and loving gift.<br />
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<b>A Testimony Born of the Spirit</b><br />
Let me share with you parts of her written testimony. Please keep in mind that she wrote these words only a few weeks after hearing about the gospel. Before the missionaries came, she had never heard anything about the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, or Mormons in general. In 1954 there were no temples outside the continental United States, except in Canada and Hawaii.<br />
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This is the English translation of Sister Reich’s handwritten testimony:<br />
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“Special characteristics of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that are not present in other religious communities include, above all, <span style="background-color: yellow;">modern revelation</span> given through the Prophet Joseph Smith.<br />
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“<span style="background-color: yellow;">The Book of Mormon in its clear and pure language</span> is next, with all the instructions and promises for the Church of Jesus Christ; it is truly a second witness, together with the Bible, that Jesus Christ lives.<br />
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“Bound together by<span style="background-color: yellow;"> faith in a personal God</span>, that is, God the Father, God the Son, and the Holy Ghost, who facilitates prayer and also influences personally.<br />
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“Also, <span style="background-color: yellow;">faith in the premortal life, the preexistence, the purpose of our earthly life, and our life after death</span> is so valuable for us and especially interesting and informative. It is clearly laid out, and our lives receive new meaning and direction.<br />
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“The Church has given us the <span style="background-color: yellow;">Word of Wisdom</span> as a guide to keep body and spirit in the most perfect shape possible to realize our desire and goal. So we keep our bodies healthy and improve them. All this from the knowledge that we will take them up again after death in the same form.<br />
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“Totally new to me, of course, is<span style="background-color: yellow;"> temple work </span>with its many sacred ordinances, having families together forever. All this was given through revelation to the Prophet Joseph Smith.”<br />
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Carmen Reich, my dear mother-in-law, passed away in 2000 at age 83.<br />
<br />
<b>A Unique Feminine Identity</b><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">The lives of women in the Church are a powerful witness that spiritual gifts, promises, and blessings of the Lord are given to all those who qualify, “that all may be benefited”</span> (D&C 46:9; see verses 9–26). The doctrines of the restored gospel create a wonderful and “unique feminine identity that encourages women to develop their abilities” as true and literal daughters of God. 3 Through serving in the Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary organizations—not to mention their private acts of love and service—<span style="background-color: yellow;">women have always played and will always play an important part in helping “bring forth and establish the cause of Zion” </span>(D&C 6:6). <span style="background-color: yellow;">They care for the poor and the sick; serve proselytizing, welfare, humanitarian, and other missions; teach children, youth, and adults; and contribute to the temporal and spiritual welfare of the Saints in many other ways.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Because their potential for good is so great and their gifts so diverse, women may find themselves in roles that vary with their circumstances in life. </span>Some women, in fact, must fill many roles simultaneously. For this reason, <span style="background-color: yellow;">Latter-day Saint women are encouraged to acquire an education </span>and training that will qualify them both for homemaking and raising a righteous family and for earning a living outside the home if the occasion requires.<br />
<br />
We are living in a great season for all women in the Church. Sisters, you are an essential part of our Heavenly Father’s plan for eternal happiness; you are endowed with a divine birthright. You are the real builders of nations wherever you live, because strong homes of love and peace will bring security to any nation. I hope you understand that, and <span style="background-color: yellow;">I hope the men of the Church understand it too</span>.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">What you sisters do today will determine how the principles of the restored gospel can influence the nations of the world tomorrow.</span> It will determine how these heavenly rays of the gospel will light every land in the future. 4<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Though we often speak of the influence of women on future generations, please do not underestimate the influence you can have today. President David O. McKay (1873–1970) said that the principal reason the Church was organized is “to make life sweet today, to give contentment to the heart today, to bring salvation today. …</span><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: yellow;">“Some of us look forward to a time in the future—salvation and exaltation in the world to come—but today is part of eternity</span>.” 5<br />
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<b>Blessings beyond Imagining</b><br />
As you live up to this mission, in whatever life circumstance you find yourself—as a wife, as a mother, as a single mother, as a divorced woman, as a widowed or a single woman—the Lord our God will open up responsibilities and blessings far beyond your ability to imagine.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you</span>. But don’t reach beyond your capacity. Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure. Don’t compare yourself with others.</span> Do the best you can, and the Lord will provide the rest. Have faith and confidence in Him, and you will see miracles happen in your life and the lives of your loved ones. The virtue of your own life will be a light to those who sit in darkness, because you are a living witness of the fulness of the gospel (see D&C 45:28). <span style="background-color: yellow;">Wherever you have been planted on this beautiful but often troubled earth of ours, you can be the one to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (D&C 81:5).</span><br />
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My dear sisters, as you live your daily life with all its blessings and challenges, let me assure you that the Lord loves you. He knows you. He listens to your prayers, and He answers those prayers, wherever on this world you may be. He wants you to succeed in this life and in eternity.<br />
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Brethren, I pray that we as priesthood holders—as husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, and friends of these choice women—<span style="background-color: yellow;">may see them as the Lord sees them, as daughters of God with limitless potential to influence the world for good.</span><br />
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In the early days of the Restoration, the Lord spoke to Emma Smith through her husband, the Prophet Joseph Smith, giving her instructions and blessings: “[Be] faithful and walk in the paths of virtue before me. … Thou needest not fear. … Thou shalt lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better. … Lift up thy heart and rejoice. … And a crown of righteousness thou shalt receive” (D&C 25:2, 9, 10, 13, 15).<br />
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Of this revelation, the Lord declared, “This is my voice unto all” (verse 16).<br />
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Later, the Prophet Joseph Smith told the sisters, “If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.” 6<br />
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Of these truths I testify, and I extend to you my love and my blessing as an Apostle of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.<br />
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<br />
Notes<br />
<br />
1. Heber J. Grant, Gospel Standards, comp. G. Homer Durham (1941), 151.<br />
2. Gordon B. Hinckley, “Standing Strong and Immovable,” Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 10, 2004, 20.<br />
3. “Women, Roles of: Historical and Sociological Development,” in Daniel H. Ludlow, ed., Encyclopedia of Mormonism, 5 vols. (1992), 4:1574.<br />
4. See “Hark, All Ye Nations!” Hymns, no. 264.<br />
5. David O. McKay, Pathways to Happiness, comp. Llewelyn R. McKay (1957), 291–92.<br />
6. History of the Church, 4:605.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-82431739808075664732012-10-09T22:14:00.000-07:002012-10-09T22:14:09.965-07:00Helping Those Who Struggle with Same-Gender Attraction<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/10/helping-those-who-struggle-with-same-gender-attraction?lang=eng"><span style="font-size: large;">Helping Those Who Struggle with Same-Gender Attraction</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
BY ELDER JEFFREY R. HOLLAND</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles</div>
<br />
A pleasant young man in his early 20s sat across from me. He had an engaging smile, although he didn’t smile often during our talk. What drew me in was the pain in his eyes.<br />
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“I don’t know if I should remain a member of the Church,” he said. “I don’t think I’m worthy.”<br />
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“Why wouldn’t you be worthy?” I asked.<br />
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“I’m gay.”<br />
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I suppose he thought I would be startled. I wasn’t. “And … ?” I inquired.<br />
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A flicker of relief crossed his face as he sensed my continued interest. “I’m not attracted to women. I’m attracted to men. I’ve tried to ignore these feelings or change them, but …”<br />
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He sighed. “Why am I this way? The feelings are very real.”<br />
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I paused, then said, “I need a little more information before advising you. You see,<span style="background-color: yellow;"> same-gender attraction is not a sin, but acting on those feelings is—just as it would be with heterosexual feeling</span>s. Do you violate the law of chastity?”<br />
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He shook his head. “No, I don’t.”<br />
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This time I was relieved. “Thank you for wanting to deal with this,” I said. “It takes courage to talk about it, and I honor you for keeping yourself clean.<br />
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“<span style="background-color: yellow;">As for why you feel as you do, I can’t answer that question. A number of factors may be involved, and they can be as different as people are different. Some things, including the cause of your feelings, we may never know in this life. But knowing why you feel as you do isn’t as important as knowing you have not transgressed. If your life is in harmony with the commandments, then you are worthy to serve in the Church, enjoy full fellowship with the members, attend the temple, and receive all the blessings of the Savior’s Atonement.</span>”<br />
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He sat up a little straighter. I continued, “Y<span style="background-color: yellow;">ou serve yourself poorly when you identify yourself primarily by your sexual feelings. That isn’t your only characteristic, so don’t give it disproportionate attention. You are first and foremost a son of God, and He loves you</span>.<br />
<br />
“What’s more, I love you. My Brethren among the General Authorities love you. I’m reminded of a comment President Boyd K. Packer made in speaking to those with same-gender attraction. ‘<span style="background-color: yellow;">We do not reject you,’ he said. ‘… We cannot reject you, for you are the sons and daughters of God. We will not reject you, because we love you.’</span>” 1<br />
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We talked for another 30 minutes or so. Knowing I could not be a personal counselor to him, I directed him to his local priesthood leaders. Then we parted. I thought I detected a look of hope in his eyes that had not been there before. Although he yet faced challenges to work through—or simply endure—I had a feeling he would handle them well.<br />
<br />
<b>God Loveth His Children</b><br />
When an angel asked Nephi a question about God, Nephi answered, “I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things” (1 Nephi 11:17). <span style="background-color: yellow;">I too affirm that God loves all His children and acknowledge that many questions, including some related to same-gender attraction, must await a future answer, perhaps in the next life.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Unfortunately, some people believe they have all the answers now and declare their opinions far and wide. Fortunately, such people do not speak for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Although I believe members are eager to extend compassion to those different from themselves, it is human nature that when confronted with a situation we don’t understand, we tend to withdraw. </span>This is particularly true of same-gender attraction. <span style="background-color: yellow;">We have so little reliable information about it that those wanting to help are left feeling a bit unsteady.</span> Admitting my own inadequacy in this regard but wanting to assist, let me offer some suggestions to help those who have loved ones or friends who are attracted to the same gender.<br />
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<b>Our Father’s Plan of Happiness</b><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">First, let’s be absolutely clear on what God wants for each of us. He wants us to have all of the blessings of eternal life. He wants us to become like Him.</span> To help us do that, He has given us a plan. This plan is based on eternal truths and is not altered according to the social trends of the day.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">At the heart of this plan is the begetting of children,</span> one of the crucial reasons Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden (see 2 Nephi 2:19–25; Moses 5:10–12). They were commanded to “be fruitful, and multiply” (Moses 2:28), and they chose to keep that commandment. We are to follow them in marrying and providing physical bodies for Heavenly Father’s spirit children.<span style="background-color: yellow;"> Obviously, a same-gender relationship is inconsistent with this plan.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">For various reasons, marriage and children are not immediately available to all. Perhaps no offer of marriage is forthcoming. Perhaps even after marriage there is an inability to have children. Or perhaps there is no present attraction to the opposite gender. Whatever the reason, God’s richest blessings will eventually be available to all of His children if they are clean and faithful.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Through the exercise of faith, individual effort, and reliance upon the power of the Atonement, some may overcome same-gender attraction in mortality and marry. Others, however, may never be free of same-gender attraction in this life.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">As fellow Church members, families, and friends, we need to recognize that those attracted to the same gender face some unique restrictions regarding expression of their feelings.</span> While same-gender attraction is real, there must be no physical expression of this attraction. The desire for physical gratification does not authorize immorality by anyone. Such feelings can be powerful, but they are never so strong as to deprive anyone of the freedom to choose worthy conduct.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">In saying this, let me make it clear that attractions alone, troublesome as they may be, do not make one unworthy. </span>The First Presidency has stated, “<span style="background-color: yellow;">There is a distinction between immoral thoughts and feelings and participating in either immoral heterosexual or any homosexual behavior.</span>” 2 If you do not act on temptations, you have not transgressed.<br />
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The failure to see that distinction sometimes leads to despair. I ache for those who do not understand that every blessing offered by God is available to anyone who obeys the laws upon which those blessings are predicated (see D&C 130:20–21). <span style="background-color: yellow;">No one who lives the gospel should despair</span>. Hope and peace come from the Comforter, and the answer to despair is to invite the Holy Ghost into our lives.<br />
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<b>Ways to Help</b><br />
Let’s assume you are the family member or friend of someone with same-gender attraction who comes to you for help. What do you say? What do you do?<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">I’d begin by recognizing the courage that brought your son, daughter, sibling, or friend to you. I’d recognize the trust that person has extended. Discussing the issue with someone of trust is a healthy first step to dealing with confusing feelings, and it is imperative that these first steps be met with compassion.</span><br />
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Next,<span style="background-color: yellow;"> if you are a parent of one with same-gender attraction, don’t assume you are the reason for those feelings. No one, including the one struggling, should try to shoulder blame. Nor should anyone place blame on another—including God.</span> Walk by faith, and help your loved one deal the best he or she can with this challenge.<br />
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In doing so, recognize that marriage is not an all-purpose solution.<span style="background-color: yellow;"> Same-gender attractions run deep, and trying to force a heterosexual relationship is not likely to change them</span>. We are all thrilled when some who struggle with these feelings are able to marry, raise children, and achieve family happiness. But other attempts have resulted in broken hearts and broken homes.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Above all, keep your lines of communication open. Open communication between parents and children is a clear expression of love, and pure love, generously expressed, can transform family ties.</span> But love for a family member does not extend to condoning unrighteous behavior. Your children are welcome to stay in your home, of course, but you have every right to exclude from your dwelling any behavior that offends the Spirit of the Lord.<br />
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<b>The Garden Principle</b><br />
Next, consider a principle learned in gardening. Someone said that if we plant a garden with good seed, there will not be so much need of the hoe.<span style="background-color: yellow;"> Likewise, if we fill our lives with spiritual nourishment, we can more easily gain control over inclinations.</span> This means creating a positive environment in our homes in which the Spirit is abundantly evident. <span style="background-color: yellow;">A positive environment includes consistent private and public worship, prayer, fasting, scripture reading, service, and exposure to uplifting conversation, music, literature, and other media.</span><br />
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This same environment extends to experiences at church. Some with same-gender attractions have unresolved fears and are offended at church when no offense is intended. On the other hand, some members exclude from their circle of fellowship those who are different. When our actions or words discourage someone from taking full advantage of Church membership, we fail them—and the Lord. The Church is made stronger as we include every member and strengthen one another in service and love (see D&C 84:110).<br />
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You may feel prompted to encourage the one you are trying to help to visit with a priesthood leader who holds the keys of inspired counsel. Please do so, knowing that the First Presidency has asked Church leaders to discuss these matters confidentially and in a spirit of Christlike love. 3<br />
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<b>In the Lord’s Hands</b><br />
Not long ago I received a letter from a man in his early 30s who struggles with same-gender attraction. His struggle has not been easy, and he has not yet married. But, he wrote, “the Lord has helped me face my current circumstances, and I am content to do my best and leave my life in His hands.”<br />
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I weep with admiration and respect at the faith and courage of such a man who is living with a challenge I have never faced. I love him and the thousands like him, male or female, who “fight the good fight” (1 Timothy 6:12). I commend his attitude to all who struggle with—or who are helping others who struggle with—same-gender attraction.<br />
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Notes<br />
<br />
1. “Ye Are the Temple of God,” Liahona, Jan. 2001, 87; Ensign, Nov. 2000, 74.<br />
2. First Presidency letter, Nov. 14, 1991.<br />
3. See First Presidency letter, Nov. 14, 1991.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-80474657124513270812012-08-30T08:25:00.000-07:002012-08-30T08:25:14.967-07:00LDS Women Are Incredible<br />
<a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/lds-women-are-incredible?lang=eng">LDS Women Are Incredible!</a><br />
BY ELDER QUENTIN L. COOK<br />
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Much of what we accomplish in the Church is due to the selfless service of women</span>.<br />
Author and historian Wallace Stegner wrote about the Mormon migration and gathering to the Salt Lake Valley. He did not accept our faith and in many ways was critical; nevertheless, he was impressed with the devotion and heroism of our early Church members, especially the women. He stated, “<span style="background-color: yellow;">Their women were incredible</span>.”1 I echo that sentiment today. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Our Latter-day Saint women are incredible!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">God placed within women divine qualities of strength, virtue, love, and the willingness to sacrifice</span> to raise future generations of His spirit children.<br />
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A recent United States study asserts that women of all faiths “believe more fervently in God” and attend more religious services than men do. “<span style="background-color: yellow;">By virtually every measure they are more religious</span>.”2<br />
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I was not surprised by this result, particularly as I reflected on the preeminent role of families and women in our faith. Our doctrine is clear: Women are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves them. Wives are equal to their husbands. Marriage requires a full partnership where wives and husbands work side by side to meet the needs of the family.3<br />
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We know there are many challenges for women, including those striving to live the gospel.<br />
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<b>Heritage of Pioneer Sisters</b><br />
A predominant attribute in the lives of our pioneer ancestors is the <span style="background-color: yellow;">faith of the sisters</span>. Women by divine nature have the greater gift and responsibility for home and children and nurturing there and in other settings. In light of this, the faith of the sisters in being willing to leave their homes to cross the plains for the unknown was inspiring. If one had to characterize their most significant attribute, it would be their unwavering faith in the restored gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.<br />
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The heroic accounts of what these pioneer women sacrificed and accomplished as they crossed the plains is a priceless legacy to the Church. I am moved by the account of Elizabeth Jackson, whose husband Aaron died after the last crossing of the Platte River with the Martin handcart company. She wrote:<br />
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“I will not attempt to describe my feelings at finding myself thus left a widow with three children, under such excruciating circumstances. … <span style="background-color: yellow;">I believe … that my sufferings for the Gospel’s sake will be sanctified unto me for my good. …</span><br />
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“I [appealed] to the Lord, … He who had promised to be a husband to the widow, and a father to the fatherless. I appealed to him and he came to my aid.”4<br />
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Elizabeth said she was writing the history on behalf of those who passed through like scenes with the hope that posterity would be willing to suffer and sacrifice all things for the kingdom of God.5<br />
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<b>Women in the Church Today Are Strong and Valiant</b><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">I believe the women of the Church today meet that challenge and are every bit as strong and faithful</span>. <span style="background-color: yellow;">The priesthood leadership of this Church at all levels gratefully acknowledges the service, sacrifice, commitment, and contribution of the sisters.</span><br />
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Much of what we accomplish in the Church is due to the selfless service of women. Whether in the Church or in the home, it is a beautiful thing to see<span style="background-color: yellow;"> the priesthood and the Relief Society work in perfect harmony</span>. Such a relationship is like a well-tuned orchestra, and the resulting symphony inspires all of us.<br />
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When I was recently assigned to a conference in the Mission Viejo California Stake, I was touched by an account of their four-stake New Year’s Eve youth dance. Following the dance, a purse was found with no outside identification. I share with you part of what Sister Monica Sedgwick, the Young Women president in the Laguna Niguel stake, recorded: “We didn’t want to pry; this was someone’s personal stuff! So we gingerly opened it and grabbed the first thing that was on top—hopefully, it would identify her. It did, but in another way—it was a For the Strength of Youth pamphlet. Wow! This told us something about her. Then we reached in for the next item, a little notebook. Surely this would give us answers, but not the kind we were expecting. The first page was a list of favorite scriptures. There were five more pages of carefully written scriptures and personal notes.”<br />
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The sisters immediately wanted to meet this stalwart young woman. They returned to that purse to identify its owner. They pulled out some breath mints, soap, lotion, and a brush. I loved their comments: “Oh, good things come out of her mouth; she has clean and soft hands; and she takes care of herself.”<br />
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They eagerly awaited the next treasure. Out came a clever little homemade coin purse made from a cardboard juice carton, and there was some money in a zippered pocket. They exclaimed, “Ahh, she’s creative and prepared!” They felt like little children on Christmas morning. What they pulled out next surprised them even more: a recipe for Black Forest chocolate cake and a note to make the cake for a friend’s birthday. They almost screamed, “She’s a HOMEMAKER! Thoughtful and service minded.” Then, yes, finally some identification. The youth leaders said they felt greatly blessed “to observe the quiet example of a young lady living the gospel.”6<br />
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This account illustrates the commitment of our young women to Church standards.7 It is also an example of caring, interested, dedicated Young Women leaders all over the world. They are incredible!<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Sisters have key roles in the Church, in family life, and as individuals that are essential in Heavenly Father’s plan. Many of these responsibilities do not provide economic compensation but do provide satisfaction and are eternally significant.</span> Recently a delightful and very capable woman on a newspaper editorial board asked for a description of the role of women in the Church. It was explained that all of the leaders in our congregations are unpaid. She interrupted to say her interest had diminished significantly. She said, “I don’t believe women need any more unpaid jobs.”<br />
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We pointed out that the most important organization on earth is the family, where “fathers and mothers are … equal partners.”8 Neither one is financially compensated, but the blessings are beyond description. We of course told her about the Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary organizations that are guided by women presidents. We noted that from our earliest history both men and women pray, perform the music, give the sermons, and sing in the choir, even in sacrament meeting, our most sacred meeting.<br />
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The recent highly acclaimed book American Grace reported on women in many faiths. It noted that Latter-day Saint women are unique in being overwhelmingly satisfied with their role in Church leadership.9 Furthermore, Latter-day Saints as a whole, men and women, have the strongest attachment to their faith of any of the religions studied.10<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Our women are not incredible because they have managed to avoid the difficulties of life—quite the opposite. They are incredible because of the way they face the trials of life. </span>Despite the challenges and tests life has to offer—from marriage or lack of marriage, children’s choices, poor health, lack of opportunities, and many other problems—they remain remarkably strong and immovable and true to the faith. Our sisters throughout the Church consistently “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.”11<br />
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One Relief Society president who acknowledged this extraordinary service said, “Even when the sisters serve, they are thinking, ‘If only I could have done more!’” Though they are not perfect and all face individual struggles, their faith in a loving Father in Heaven and the assurance of the atoning sacrifice of the Savior permeates their lives.<br />
<br />
<b>Role of Sisters in the Church</b><br />
During the last three years, the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve have sought guidance, inspiration, and revelation as we have counseled with priesthood and auxiliary leaders and worked on the new Church handbooks. In this process I have experienced feelings of overwhelming appreciation for the essential role that sisters, both married and single, have historically played and now play both in the family and in the Church.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">All members of the Church of Jesus Christ are “to labor in his vineyard for the salvation of the souls of men.”12 “[The] work of salvation includes member missionary work, convert retention, activation of less-active members, temple and family history work, … teaching the gospel,”13 and caring for the poor and needy.14 This is administered primarily through the ward council.</span>15<br />
<br />
Specifically, it is intended in the new handbooks that <span style="background-color: yellow;">bishops, sensitive to existing demands, will delegate more responsibilities.</span> Members need to recognize that the bishop has been instructed to delegate. Members need to sustain and support him as he follows this counsel. This will allow the bishop to spend more time with <span style="background-color: yellow;">the youth, young single adults, and his own family</span>. He will delegate other important responsibilities to priesthood leaders, presidents of auxiliaries, and individual men and women. In the Church the role of women in the home is highly respected.16 When the mother receives a Church calling that requires significant time, the father will often be given a less-demanding calling in order to maintain balance in the lives of the family.<br />
<br />
Several years ago I attended a stake conference in Tonga. Sunday morning the three front rows of the chapel were filled with men between 26 and 35 years of age. I assumed they were a men’s choir. But when the business of the conference was conducted, each of these men, 63 in total, stood up as their names were read and were sustained for ordination to the Melchizedek Priesthood. I was both pleased and stunned.<br />
<br />
After the session I asked President Mateaki, the stake president, how this miracle had been accomplished. He told me that in a stake council meeting reactivation was being discussed. His stake Relief Society president, Sister Leinata Va’enuku, asked if it would be appropriate for her to say something. As she spoke, the Spirit confirmed to the president that what she was suggesting was true. She explained that there were large numbers of wonderful young men in their late 20s and 30s in their stake who had not served missions. She said many of them knew they had disappointed bishops and priesthood leaders who had strongly encouraged them to serve a mission, and they now felt like second-class members of the Church. She pointed out that these young men were beyond missionary age. She expressed her love and concern for them. She explained that all of the saving ordinances were still available to them and the focus should be on priesthood ordinations and the ordinances of the temple. She noted that while some of these young men were still single, the majority of them had married wonderful women—some active, some inactive, and some not members.<br />
<br />
After thorough discussion in the stake council, it was decided that the men of the priesthood and the women of the Relief Society would reach out to rescue these men and their wives, while the bishops spent more of their time with the young men and young women in the wards. Those involved in the rescue focused primarily on preparing them for the priesthood, eternal marriage, and the saving ordinances of the temple. During the next two years, almost all of the 63 men who had been sustained to the Melchizedek Priesthood at the conference I attended were endowed in the temple and had their spouses sealed to them. This account is but one example of how critical our sisters are in the work of salvation in our wards and stakes and how they facilitate revelation, especially in family and Church councils.17<br />
<br />
<b>Role of Sisters in the Family</b><br />
We recognize that there are<span style="background-color: yellow;"> enormous forces arrayed against women and families.</span> Recent studies find there is deterioration in devotion to marriage, with a decrease in the number of adults being married.18 For some, marriage and family are becoming “a menu choice rather than the central organizing principle of our society.”19 Women are confronted with many options and need to prayerfully consider the choices they make and how those choices affect the family.<br />
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When I was in New Zealand last year, I read in an Auckland newspaper of women, not of our faith, struggling with these issues. One mother said she realized that in her case, her choice about whether to work or stay home was about a new carpet and a second car that she didn’t really need. Another woman, however, felt “the biggest enemy of a happy family life was not paid work—it was television.” She said that families are TV rich and family-time poor.20<br />
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These are very emotional, personal decisions, but there are two principles that we should always keep in mind.<span style="background-color: yellow;"> First, no woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. </span>Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Second, we should all be careful not to be judgmental or assume that sisters are less valiant if the decision is made to work outside the home.</span> We rarely understand or fully appreciate people’s circumstances. Husbands and wives should prayerfully counsel together, understanding they are accountable to God for their decisions.<br />
<br />
You devoted sisters who are single parents for whatever reason, our hearts reach out to you with appreciation. Prophets have made it clear “that many hands stand ready to help you. The Lord is not unmindful of you. Neither is His Church.”21 I would hope that Latter-day Saints would be at the forefront in creating an environment in the workplace that is more receptive and accommodating to both women and men in their responsibilities as parents.<br />
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You valiant and faithful single sisters, please know that we love and appreciate you, and we assure you that no eternal blessing will be withheld from you.<br />
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The remarkable pioneer woman Emily H. Woodmansee penned the text of the hymn “As Sisters in Zion.” She correctly asserts that the “errand of angels is given to women.”22 This has been described as “nothing less than to do the direct and immediate bidding of our Father in Heaven, and ‘this is a gift that … sisters … claim.’”23<br />
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Dear sisters, we love and admire you. We appreciate your service in the Lord’s kingdom. You are incredible! I express particular appreciation for the women in my life. I testify of the reality of the Atonement, the divinity of the Savior, and the Restoration of His Church, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.<br />
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<br />
Notes<br />
<br />
1. Wallace Stegner, The Gathering of Zion: The Story of the Mormon Trail (1971), 13.<br />
2. Robert D. Putnam and David E. Campbell, American Grace: How Religion Divides and Unites Us (2010), 233.<br />
3. See Handbook 2: Administering the Church (2010), 1.3.1; see also Moses 5:1, 4, 12, 27.<br />
4. In Andrew D. Olsen, The Price We Paid: The Extraordinary Story of the Willie and Martin Handcart Pioneers (2006), 445.<br />
5. See “Leaves from the Life of Elizabeth Horrocks Jackson Kingsford,” Utah State Historical Society, Manuscript A 719; in “Remembering the Rescue,” Ensign, Aug. 1997, 47.<br />
6. Combined and shortened from an e-mail written by Monica Sedgwick, stake Young Women president of the Laguna Niguel California Stake, and a talk given by Leslie Mortensen, stake Young Women president of the Mission Viejo California Stake.<br />
7. In an article titled “Why Do We Let Them Dress Like That?” (Wall Street Journal, Mar. 19–20, 2011, C3), a thoughtful Jewish mother advocates for dress standards and modesty and acknowledges the example of Mormon women.<br />
8. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2010, 129.<br />
9. See Putnam and Campbell, American Grace, 244–45.<br />
10. See Putnam and Campbell, American Grace, 504.<br />
11. Doctrine and Covenants 81:5; see also Mosiah 4:26.<br />
12. Doctrine and Covenants 138:56.<br />
13. Handbook 2: Administering the Church (2010), page 22.<br />
14. See Handbook 2, 6.1.<br />
15. See Handbook 2, 4.5.<br />
16. See Emily Matchar, “Why I Can’t Stop Reading Mormon Housewife Blogs,” salon.com/life/feature/2011/01/15/feminist_obsessed_with_mormon_blogs. This self-described feminist and atheist acknowledges this respect and says she is addicted to reading Mormon housewife blogs.<br />
17. From conversations with Nuku’alofa Tonga Ha’akame Stake president Lehonitai Mateaki (who subsequently served as president of the Papua New Guinea Port Moresby Mission) and stake Relief Society president Leinata Va’enuku.<br />
18. See D’Vera Cohn and Richard Fry, “Women, Men, and the New Economics of Marriage,” Pew Research Center, Social and Demographic Trends, pewsocialtrends.org. The number of children being born has also decreased significantly in many countries. This has been called the demographic winter.<br />
19. “A Troubling Marriage Trend,” Deseret News, Nov. 22, 2010, A14, quoting a report on msnbc.com.<br />
20. See Simon Collins, “Put Family before Moneymaking Is Message from Festival,” New Zealand Herald, Feb. 1, 2010, A2.<br />
21. Gordon B. Hinckley, “Women of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1996, 69; see also Spencer W. Kimball, “Our Sisters in the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1979, 48–49.<br />
22. “As Sisters in Zion,” Hymns, no. 309.<br />
23. Karen Lynn Davidson, Our Latter-Day Hymns: The Stories and the Messages, rev. ed. (2009), 338–39.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-5732371874505414912012-08-29T07:20:00.000-07:002012-08-29T07:20:03.924-07:00Greed, Selfishness, and Overindulgence<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/1999/05/greed-selfishness-and-overindulgence?lang=eng">Greed, Selfishness, and Overindulgence</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">ELDER JOE J. CHRISTENSEN</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Of the Presidency of the Seventy</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">I am confident that we will literally be called upon to make an accounting before God concerning how we have used [our resources] to bless lives and build the kingdom</span>.<br />
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They say the gospel is to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comforted. My purpose today is to speak to the comforted: the rich, the poor, and all of us in between.<br />
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The Lord has said, “<span style="background-color: yellow;">Wo unto you rich men, … for your riches will canker your souls</span>.” He has also said, “<span style="background-color: yellow;">Wo unto you poor men, whose hearts are not broken, … [and] whose eyes are full of greediness.</span>” 1<br />
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Many of you probably have heard this little prayer somebody wrote:<br />
<br />
“Dear God,<br />
<br />
“So far today I have done all right. I haven’t gossiped, haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overly indulgent. But in a few minutes, Lord, I am going to get out of bed, and from then on, I am probably going to need a lot more help.”<br />
<br />
When it comes to overcoming being greedy, selfish, and overly indulgent, we all need a lot more help. In his candid manner, President Brigham Young said: “<span style="background-color: yellow;">The worst fear … I have about this people is that they will get rich in this country, forget God and His people, wax fat, and kick themselves out of the Church. … My greater fear … is that they cannot stand wealth.</span>” 2<br />
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Our prosperity brings some real challenges because many are getting rich, more of us are waxing fat, and as a result of greed, selfishness, and overindulgence, we could lose the Spirit and literally kick ourselves out of the Church.<br />
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Money and material things are on the minds of almost everyone. As Morris Chalfant wrote: “The great [question] of the twentieth century is, ‘How can I acquire wealth?’ No question occupies a larger place in the minds and … hearts of … people today than this. … This is true of men in every station and in every walk of life.” 3<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Money in and of itself is not an evil</span>, but as Paul taught Timothy, it is the love of money that is the root of all evil. 4 <span style="background-color: yellow;">There are some of the wealthy who deal with their prosperity very well using their resources to bless others and build the kingdom</span>. For many, however, wealth presents major difficulties.<br />
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As we deal with the materialism that threatens us, here are four suggestions for each of us to consider:<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">First, we should not confuse wants with needs</span>.<br />
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My mother taught me an important lesson along these lines. For many years my father had a practice of trading for a new car every year. Then, shortly after World War II when grain prices increased, we were surprised one day when Dad drove home in a more expensive car.<br />
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One morning my mother asked, “How much more did the new car cost than the other one?”<br />
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When Dad told her, my mother said, “Well, the other car has always been able to get me where I need to go. I think we ought to give the difference to someone who needs it more than we do.”<br />
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And so it was. The next year Dad returned to the less-expensive cars, and they continued their generous ways.<br />
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If we are not careful, it is easy for our wants to become needs. Remember the line “<span style="background-color: yellow;">There, there, little luxury, don’t you cry. You’ll be a necessity by and by.</span>”<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Second, we should avoid spoiling children by giving them too much</span>.<br />
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In our day, many children grow up with distorted values because we as parents overindulge them. Whether you are well-to-do or, like most of us, of more modest means, we as parents often attempt to provide children with almost everything they want thus taking away from them the <span style="background-color: yellow;">blessing of anticipating, of longing for something they do not have.</span> One of the most important things we can teach our children is to deny themselves. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Instant gratification generally makes for weak people. How many truly great individuals do you know who never had to struggle?</span><br />
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Elder Maxwell has voiced this concern when he said: “<span style="background-color: yellow;">A few of our wonderful youth and young adults in the Church are unstretched. They have almost a free pass. Perks are provided, including cars complete with fuel and insurance—all paid for by parents who sometimes listen in vain for a few courteous and appreciative words. What is thus taken for granted … tends to underwrite selfishness and a sense of entitlement.</span>” 5<br />
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A wise young mother said: “I choose not to give our children what I can afford to give them. I hold back for their sake.”<br />
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In the words of Fred Gosman, “Children who always get what they want will want as long as they live.” 6 And somewhere along the line it is important for the character development of our children to learn that “the earth still revolves around the sun” and not around them. 7 Rather, we should train our children to ask themselves the question, How is the world a better place because they are in it?<br />
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We live in a world of entertainment in full color with a lot of fast action, a world in which many children grow up thinking that if it isn’t fun, it is boring and not worthwhile. Even in family activities, we need to strike a balance between play and work. Some of my most memorable experiences while growing up centered around family activities: learning how to shingle a roof, build a fence, or working in the garden. Rather than being all work and no play, for many of our children it is almost all play and very little work.<br />
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As a consequence of overindulgence, many children leave homes ill-prepared to meet the real world. President Hinckley said: “Of course, we need to earn a living. The Lord told Adam that in the sweat of his face should he eat bread all the days of his life. It is important that we qualify ourselves to be self-reliant, particularly that every young man at the time of marriage be ready and able to assume the responsibilities of providing for his companion and for the children who may come to that home.” 8<br />
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All too many enter marriage who have never learned to cook, sew, or develop other important life skills. Ignorance of these needed skills, along with the lack of understanding of the management of money, sow the seeds for many failures in our children’s marriages.<br />
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I fear that in many cases we are rearing children who are slaves to expensive fads and fashions. Remember the scripture, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” 9 How do we determine where our treasure is? To do so, we need to evaluate the amount of time, money, and thought we devote to something. Might it not be well to evaluate how much focus we place on shopping and spending?<br />
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This does not mean that our children should not dress in some of the appropriate clothing that is in fashion because that can be very important to them. But they don’t need a closet full. As members of the Church, we have a responsibility to present ourselves in a well-groomed, attractive, and modest manner. With good planning, this can be done without being driven to spend extravagantly on our clothing.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">More than 10 times, the prophets in the Book of Mormon warn us about the problems of pride related to the nature of our clothing.</span> Here is one example of them: “And it came to pass … that the people of the church began to wax proud, because of their exceeding riches, and their fine silks, and their fine-twined linen. … in all these things were they lifted up in the pride of their eyes, for they began to wear very costly apparel.” 10<br />
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We would do well if in all these areas of material things we and our children would follow the oft-quoted motto of our pioneer forebears to “<span style="background-color: yellow;">fix it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.</span>”<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Third, as we have heard so often, live modestly and avoid debt as if it were a plague.</span><br />
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President Hinckley recently reminded us of President Heber J. Grant’s statement: “I<span style="background-color: yellow;">f there is any one thing that will bring peace and contentment into the human heart, and into the family, it is to live within our means, and if there is any one thing that is grinding, and discouraging and disheartening it is to have debts and obligations that one cannot meet</span>.” 11<br />
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Samuel Johnson said, “<span style="background-color: yellow;">Do not accustom yourself to consider debt as an inconvenience, you will find it [to be] a calamity.</span>”<br />
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How much house do we really need to accommodate our family comfortably? We should not endanger ourselves either spiritually or economically by acquiring homes which are ostentatious, feed our vanity, and go far beyond our needs.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">If we are to be self-reliant and in a position to share, obviously we must acquire some resources. If we live within our means and avoid debt, resources can be accumulated.</span> There are those with average incomes who, over a lifetime, do amass some means, and there are those who receive large salaries who do not. What is the difference? It is simply spending less than they receive, <span style="background-color: yellow;">saving along the way, and taking advantage of the power of compound interest.</span><br />
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Financial consultants indicate that “<span style="background-color: yellow;">most people have it all wrong about wealth. … Wealth is not the same as income. If you make a good income each year and spend it all, you are not getting wealthier. You are just living high. Wealth is what you accumulate, not what you spend</span>.” 12<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Finally, be generous in giving and sharing with others.</span><br />
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The more our hearts and minds are turned to assisting others less fortunate than we, the more we will avoid the spiritually cankering effects that result from greed, selfishness, and overindulgence. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Our resources are a stewardship, not our possessions</span>. I am confident that we will literally be called upon to make an accounting before God concerning how we have used them to bless lives and build the kingdom.<br />
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The prophet Jacob provides us with some excellent counsel about how riches can be acquired and for what they should be used:<br />
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“But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God.<br />
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“<span style="background-color: yellow;">And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them … for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted</span>.” 13<br />
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In addition to paying an honest tithing, we should be generous in assisting the poor. How much should we give? I appreciate the thought of C. S. Lewis on this subject. He said: “<span style="background-color: yellow;">I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. … If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, … they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditure excludes them.</span>” 14<br />
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There are many worthy individuals and causes to which we might contribute. We should give generously to the fast offering and humanitarian funds of the Church. And, if we desire our families to live lives of depth and meaning, we must have the courage to examine honestly where our treasures lie and avoid the pitfalls that result from greed, selfishness, and overindulgence.<br />
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Let us each remember:<br />
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• <span style="background-color: yellow;">First: Not to confuse wants with needs.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">• Second: Avoid spoiling our children.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">• Third: Live modestly and avoid debt.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">• Fourth: Be generous in giving to others.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Giving really is at the heart of our faith.</span> At this Easter time, we again commemorate that “God [our Heavenly Father] so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,” 15 who came to the earth and could have possessed any material thing but rather chose to give to all of us an example of a simple life free from any shade of greed, selfishness, or overindulgence. May we strive daily to live more like He lived, the ultimate example of a life of depth and meaning.<br />
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I testify that Jesus is the Christ, this is His Church led by living prophets, and His tomb was literally empty on that third day. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-3773987016021588702012-08-24T07:52:00.000-07:002012-08-24T07:52:20.752-07:00Developing Character<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/10/developing-character?lang=eng&query=%22as+a+man+thinketh%22">Developing Character</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>INSIGHTS FROM PRESIDENT DAVID O. MCKAY </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>(1873–1970)</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
The following are some classic statements on the development of Christlike character by our ninth President of the Church.<br />
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True Greatness<br />
“The highest of all ideals are the teachings and particularly the life of Jesus of Nazareth, and that man is most truly great who is most Christlike. What you sincerely in your heart think of Christ will determine what you are, will largely determine what your acts will be. … By choosing him as our ideal, we create within ourselves a desire to be like him, to have fellowship with him” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1951, 93, 98).<br />
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“The true measure of a man is how he spends his time when he doesn’t have to do anything” (quoted by Robert L. Simpson, “Pollution of the Mind,” Ensign, Jan. 1973, 113).<br />
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“As a Man Thinketh”<br />
“No principle of life was more constantly emphasized by the Great Teacher than the necessity of right thinking. To Him, the man was not what he appeared to be outwardly, nor what he professed to be by his words: what the man thought determined in all cases what the man was. No teacher emphasized more strongly than He the truth that ‘as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he’ [Prov. 23:7]. … Contentment, complacency, peace—all that makes life worth living—have their source in the mind of the individual. From the same source spring unrest, turbulence, misery—everything that leads to dissolution and death. … It is well for [every teacher and officer in the Church] to pause frequently and take stock of himself to ascertain ‘what he is thinking about when he doesn’t have to think,’ for ‘what he thinketh in his heart, so is he’” (“‘As a Man Thinketh … ,’” Instructor, Sept. 1958, 257–58).<br />
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“What a man continually thinks about determines his actions in times of opportunity and stress. A man’s reaction to his appetites and impulses when they are aroused gives the measure of that man’s character. In these reactions are revealed the man’s power to govern or his forced servility to yield” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1951, 8).<br />
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We Radiate What We Are<br />
“There is another responsibility correlated and even coexistent with … agency, which is too infrequently emphasized, and that is the effect not only of a person’s actions, but also of his thoughts. Man radiates what he is, and that radiation affects to a greater or less[er] degree every person who comes within that radiation” (“Free Agency … The Gift Divine,” Improvement Era, Feb. 1962, 87).<br />
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“Sickness may waste the body, but the true life is the spirit within, that which thinks and feels and loves and suffers and wills and chooses, aspires, and achieves. The purpose in life is to beautify, ornament, develop that something within. To develop a more radiant and lovely character is the true purpose in life” (Gospel Ideals [1954], 357).<br />
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The Approval of Conscience<br />
“Thoughts mold your features. Thoughts lift your soul heavenward or drag you toward hell. … As nothing reveals character like the company we like and keep, so nothing foretells futurity like the thoughts over which we brood. … To have the approval of your conscience when you are alone with your thoughts is like being in the company of true and loving friends. To merit your own self-respect gives strength to character. Conscience is the link that binds your soul to the spirit of God” (“Those Sculptors Called Thoughts and Ideals,” Improvement Era, July 1960, 495).<br />
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A Clear Conscience<br />
“It is glorious when you can lie down at night with a clear conscience, knowing you have done your best not to offend anyone and have injured no man. You have tried to cleanse your heart of all unrighteousness, and if you put forth precious effort, you can sense as you pray to God to keep you that night that he accepts your effort. You have a sense that you are God’s child, not a mere cog of the state, but a person whose soul God wants to save. You have the strength, the sense of resistance to evil. … You also have the realization that you have made the world better for having been in it” (Gospel Ideals, 502).<br />
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The Development of a Grand Character<br />
“Day by day, hour by hour, man builds the character that will determine his place and standing among his associates throughout the ages. … More important than riches, more enduring than fame, more precious than happiness is the possession of a noble character. Truly it has been said that the grand aim of man’s creation is the development of a grand character, and grand character is by its very nature the product of a probationary discipline” (“Man’s Soul Is As Endless As Time,” Instructor, Jan. 1960, 1–2).<br />
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Christlike Character<br />
“True happiness is found in living the Christ’s life—on Monday as well as on Sunday. He who is virtuous only at intervals proves that his pretended virtue is but a sham. Such a person lacks sincerity, the foundation of true character, without which happiness is impossible” (Gospel Ideals, 502).<br />
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“What is the crowning glory of man in this earth so far as his individual achievement is concerned? It is character—character developed through obedience to the laws of life as revealed through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, who came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. Man’s chief concern in life should not be the acquiring of gold nor fame nor material possessions. It should not be the development of physical prowess nor of intellectual strength, but his aim, the highest in life, should be the development of a Christlike character” (“Obedience Develops Character,” Instructor, Aug. 1965, 301; emphasis in original).Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-66416278180509617002012-08-02T07:14:00.000-07:002012-08-02T07:14:01.440-07:00Stripped of Envy<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/1999/03/stripped-of-envy?lang=eng"><span style="font-size: large;">“Stripped of Envy”</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">BY PAM WILSON VANDENAKER</span></div>
Envy impedes our spiritual growth and harms our relationships with others. Yet with hard work and the Lord’s help, it can be overcome.<br />
<br />
Andrea * was surprised to hear her neighbor’s name announced from the pulpit in sacrament meeting. When she heard the title of “Relief Society president” attached to the name, she immediately felt hurt and left out, but she did not realize why. She didn’t recognize that the feeling in her heart was due to envy.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Most of us will experience envy at one time or another. The danger comes when we remain unaware of our envy or don’t handle it appropriately</span>; then it has the potential to harm us and may cause us to think or act badly toward others. As James stated, “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work” (James 3:16). But by eliminating envy, we can improve our relationships with others and our view of ourselves. When we realize we are not competing with others, we can then rejoice in their accomplishments.<br />
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<b>The Root of Envy</b><br />
The practice of <span style="background-color: yellow;">comparing ourselves to others is usually at the root of envy</span>. It causes us to feel that we aren’t good enough and that in order to be acceptable we have to achieve more, acquire more, or in other ways appear to be “better” than others. It occurs when we do not value ourselves sufficiently as children of God and consequently feel we have to prove our worth by “doing” or “having.”<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Envy is a form of pride</span>, as President Ezra Taft Benson pointed out in his April 1989 general conference talk (see “Beware of Pride,” Ensign, May 1989, 5). Pride creates enmity, or hatred, which separates us from our fellowmen. President Benson quoted C. S. Lewis, who wrote, “<span style="background-color: yellow;">It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone</span>” (Ensign, May 1989, 4).<br />
<br />
Part of the reason envy can be so difficult to recognize in ourselves is that it often disguises itself in other feelings and behaviors. <span style="background-color: yellow;">One disguise envy wears is the tendency to criticize</span>. Another is the desire to act in a way that will provoke envy in others. The good news is, once we unmask envy and begin to eliminate it, we can begin to feel much better about ourselves and others around us.<br />
<br />
<b>The Accumulation of Envy</b><br />
Like layers of accumulated paint, <span style="background-color: yellow;">envy covers our true worth</span>, making it difficult to see ourselves accurately and change our beliefs so that we can feel better about ourselves.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">There are at least five reasons why we need to be concerned about envy in ourselves: (1) it blocks us from growing spiritually, (2) it keeps us from having pure motives, (3) it creates an “us against them” mentality, (4) it can make us feel negative toward others, and (5) a desire to be envied can cause others to feel negative toward us.</span><br />
<br />
In the examples below, note how envy seems to begin with one’s feelings about oneself and eventually moves outward to one’s feelings about others. In the process, envy can subtly influence thoughts and behaviors.<br />
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<b>Low self-worth</b>. Brother Barnes promises himself as he goes into Gospel Doctrine class to listen more and talk less. But once the lesson gets going, he can’t seem to curb his habit of interrupting to share his thoughts and opinions about the scriptures. He wants to stand as an equal to the more mature or more articulate members, but he feels anxious and inferior as he listens to them talk. Others in the class are distracted by his numerous comments, but he can’t seem to control his impulse to speak.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">When we grow up feeling that we are not loved for who we are and instead are criticized or are valued for how we compare to others, we can develop the habit of looking outside ourselves to feel good</span>. In this example, Brother Barnes tries to boost his self-worth by gaining the admiration of others for his thoughts or knowledge. Such practices may indicate a lack of understanding of our worth and our true relationship to God. But as children of our Heavenly Father, each of us has inherent worth and has been endowed with divine potential. “We are the children of God,” the Apostle Paul declared, “and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ” (Rom. 8:16–17).<br />
<br />
<b>Competing with others</b>. Sister Harris frequently envies the successes of members of her ward. It seems that for her to feel good, her children’s achievements must exceed those of others. She wants others to give her admiration, respect, and honor for being a successful parent.<br />
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As she sees a friend coming down the hall after church, one of the first thoughts to enter her mind is the top award her son won at the regional track meet the day before. When her friend says hello, Sister Harris immediately tells of her son’s award, giving the whole story of how he came to win and how her efforts helped him. Subtly Sister Harris tries to evoke envy in her friend, who feels uneasy as a result.<br />
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Betsy Cohen, in her book The Snow White Syndrome: All about Envy (1986), notes that <span style="background-color: yellow;">many of us “have inner standards of excellence and perfection that are hard or impossible to meet” (39), often causing emotional pain</span>. We may have a hard time admitting mistakes and living with imperfections. If not careful, says the author, we can end up envious of those who seem to achieve more or who seem more comfortable being imperfect.<br />
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<b>Removing Envy</b><br />
In Alma 5:29 it reads, “Behold, I say, is there one among you who is not stripped of envy? I say unto you that such an one is not prepared.” We need to be stripped of envy and other weaknesses to be prepared to “stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body” (Alma 5:15).<br />
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If we have an old dresser that has passed from one owner to another, acquiring many layers of paint, it will be quite a job to get it stripped down to the bare wood. However, if we are confident that beneath the chipped and discolored layers of paint is a beautiful and valuable antique, we likely are willing to take on the project. Similarly, to strip envy from our lives, we need to be willing to go through the long <span style="background-color: yellow;">process of refinishing.</span><br />
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1.<b> Seeing the need to refinish.</b> Paradoxically, Andrea, mentioned in the opening of this article, began to deal with her envy when she realized on another occasion that somebody was envying her. She became uncomfortable when she sensed this person’s feelings, and she wondered if her own jealousy had led others to be ill at ease around her as well. As she examined her life for the presence of envy, she learned that she needed to stop comparing herself to others and to focus less on external things.<br />
2. <b>Committing ourselves to complete the job</b>. Andrea read the scriptures listed in the Topical Guide under “envy.” As she did so, a clear definition of the word materialized. She recalled the feelings she had experienced that day in sacrament meeting as her neighbor had received a new leadership calling. She realized that because of envy, she had been unable to be happy for her neighbor.<br />
Although this discovery was unpleasant, she remained determined to do something about it. As she prayed for guidance, there came solutions, and the promptings of the Holy Ghost told her what she needed to do.<br />
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3.<b> Removing built-up layers</b>. Once Andrea’s eyes were opened to the truth, she found herself making spiritual progress. Eventually she realized that at times she had shared her achievements with others in an effort to create envy. When she became aware of this, she no longer felt compelled to share all of her accomplishments and was able to enjoy the accomplishments of others. She no longer had to seek others’ praise.<br />
As she searched the scriptures, she read what Mormon had said concerning charity, which echoed the Apostle Paul’s words to the Corinthians: “And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and … seeketh not her own, … thinketh no evil” (Moro. 7:45; see also 1 Cor. 13:4–5). She noted Mormon’s counsel to “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ” (Moro. 7:48).<br />
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Andrea decided to act upon Mormon’s words. As she prayed for charity and heeded the inspiration she received, her love for others increased and she began to better understand our Heavenly Father’s love for and acceptance of all His children.<br />
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4. <b>Fine finishing.</b> As Andrea began to eliminate envy, and as she saw the bare wood of her life, her heart became contrite. Through her repentance she learned that her spiritual growth was dependent upon her willingness to humble herself and diligently seek the will of the Lord.<br />
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Many of us have been in an unfinished-furniture shop and smelled the aromas, felt the smooth surfaces, and observed the beautiful grains of unfinished wood. When we repent of a weakness such as envy, part of us becomes new and unblemished, like new wood. As we grow in self-understanding through the Spirit, we become refined as children of our Heavenly Father. It is through Him that we can be stripped of envy and pride and have our “being” refinished.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">When we repent we become willing to submit to the will of the Lord and allow Him to refinish us in accordance with His will</span>. Thus, as we become free of envy or jealousy or any other weakness, we are much more enabled to acknowledge who and what we are. In the process of being “stripped of envy,” though we may experience the pain of being sanded and refined, we also receive the gift of being restored to an awareness of our worth as beautiful, unique children of God.<br />
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<i>Pam Wilson Vandenaker, a licensed professional counselor, is the music director in the Karalee Ward, Sandy Utah Granite South Stake.</i>Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-75727750609790031892012-07-26T07:11:00.000-07:002012-07-26T07:11:25.018-07:00Fathers, Mothers, Marriage<br />
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FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE</h4>
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<a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage">Fathers, Mothers, Marriage</a></h1>
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By President James E. Faust</div>
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Second Counselor in the First Presidency</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">In recent times, society has been plagued with a cancer from which few families have escaped.</span><span style="background-color: yellow;"> I speak of the disintegration of our homes.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> Immediate corrective treatment is urgent. In what I have to say, I do not wish to offend anyone. I affirm my profound belief that God’s greatest creation is womanhood. I also believe that there is no greater good in all the world than motherhood. </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation</span><span style="background-color: white;">. Single parents, most of whom are mothers, perform an especially heroic service.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">I hasten to acknowledge that there are too many husbands and fathers who are abusive to their wives and children and from whom the wives and children need protection</span><span style="background-color: white;">. Yet modern sociological studies powerfully reaffirm the essential influence of a caring father in the life of a child—boy or girl. In the past 20 years, as homes and families have struggled to stay intact, sociological studies have revealed this alarming fact: </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">much of the crime and many of the behavioral disorders in the United States come from homes where the father has abandoned the children.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> In many societies, child poverty, crime, drug abuse, and family decay can be traced to conditions where the father gives no male nurturing. Sociologically, it is now painfully apparent that </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">fathers are not optional family baggage</span><span style="background-color: white;">.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Fathers need to do the best they can to be the primary provider for physical and spiritual support</span><span style="background-color: white;">. I state this with no reluctance because the Lord has revealed that this obligation is placed upon husbands. “Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken.”</span><sup class="noteMarker" style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote1-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">1</a> </sup><span style="background-color: white;">Further, “all children have claim upon their parents for their maintenance until they are of age.”</span><sup class="noteMarker" style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote2-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">2</a> </sup><span style="background-color: white;">In addition, their spiritual welfare should be “brought to pass by the faith and covenant of their fathers.”</span><sup class="noteMarker" style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote3-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">3</a> </sup><span style="background-color: white;">As regards little children, the Lord has promised “that great things may be required at the hand of their fathers.”</span><sup class="noteMarker" style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote4-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">4</a></sup></div>
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Complementary Roles</h2>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">It is useless to debate which parent is most important</span><span style="background-color: white;">. No one would doubt that a mother’s influence is paramount with newborns and in the first years of a child’s life. The father’s influence increases as the child grows older. However, </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">each parent is necessary at various times in a child’s development.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> Both fathers and mothers do many intrinsically different things for their children. Both are equipped to nurture children, but their approaches are different. Mothers seem to take a dominant role in preparing children to live within their families, present and future. Fathers seem best equipped to prepare children to function in the environment outside the family.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">One authority states: “</span><span style="background-color: yellow;">Studies show that fathers also have a special role to play in building a child’s [self-respect]. They are important too, in ways we don’t really understand, in developing internal limits and control in children.</span><span style="background-color: white;">” He continues: “Research also shows that fathers are critical in the establishment of gender in children. Interestingly, fatherly involvement produces stronger sexual identity and character in both boys and girls. </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">It’s well established that the masculinity of sons and the femininity of daughters are each greater when fathers are active in family life.</span><span style="background-color: white;">”</span><sup class="noteMarker" style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote5-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">5</a></sup></div>
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Parents in any marital situation have a duty to set aside personal differences and encourage each other’s righteous influence in the lives of their children.</div>
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Is it not possible to give to womankind all of the rights and blessings that come from God and legal authority without diminishing the nobility of God’s other grand creation, manhood? A reflection on this theme stated in 1872:</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">“</span><span style="background-color: yellow;">The status of women is one of the questions of the day. Socially and politically it forces itself upon the attention of the world. Some … refuse to concede that woman is entitled to the enjoyment of any rights other than … the whims, fancies or justice … men may choose to grant her. The reasons which they cannot meet with argument they decry and ridicule; an old refuge for those opposed to correct principles which they are unable to controvert. Others … not only recognize that woman’s status should be improved, but are so radical in their extreme theories that they would set her in antagonism to man, assume for her a separate and opposing existence; and to show how entirely independent she should be [they] would make her adopt the more reprehensible phases of character which men present, and which should be shunned or improved by them instead of being copied by women. These are two extremes, and between them is the ‘golden mean</span><span style="background-color: white;">.’”</span><sup class="noteMarker" style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote6-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">6</a></sup></div>
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Use of the Priesthood</h2>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Many people do not understand our belief that God has wisely established a guiding authority for the most important institutions in the world. This guiding authority is called the priesthood. The priesthood is held in trust to be used to bless all of God’s children. Priesthood is not gender; it is blessings from God for all at the hands of the servants He has designated. Within the Church this authority of the priesthood can bless all members through the ministration of home teachers, quorum presidents, bishops and branch presidents, fathers, and all other righteous brethren who are charged with the administration of the affairs of the kingdom of God. Priesthood is the righteous power and influence by which boys are taught in their youth and throughout their lives to honor chastity, to be honest and industrious, and to develop respect for and stand in the defense of womanhood.</span><span style="background-color: yellow;"> Priesthood is a restraining influence.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> Girls are taught that through its influence and power to bless, they can fulfill many of their desires.</span></div>
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Honoring the priesthood means following the example of Christ and seeking to emulate His example of fatherhood. It means constant concern and caring for one’s own flesh and blood. The man who holds the priesthood is to honor it by eternally cherishing, with absolute fidelity, his wife and the mother of his children. He is to extend lifelong care and concern for his children and their children. The plea of David for his rebel son is one of the most moving in all of the scriptures: “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!”<sup class="noteMarker" style="font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote7-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">7</a></sup></div>
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I urge husbands and fathers of this Church to be the kind of men your wives would not want to be without. I urge the sisters of this Church to be patient, loving, and understanding with their husbands. Those who enter into marriage should be fully prepared to establish their marriage as the first priority in their lives.</div>
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It is destructive to the feeling essential for a happy marriage for either party to say to the other marriage partner, “I don’t need you.” This is particularly so because the counsel of the Savior was and is to become one flesh: “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh[.] Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.”<sup class="noteMarker" style="font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote8-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">8</a></sup></div>
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Being of One Heart</h2>
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<span style="background-color: white;">It is far more difficult to be of one heart and mind than to be physically one. This unity of heart and mind is manifest in sincere expressions of “I appreciate you” and “I am proud of you.” Such domestic harmony results from </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">forgiving and forgetting</span><span style="background-color: white;">, essential elements of a maturing marriage relationship. Someone has said that we “should keep [our] eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward.”</span><sup class="noteMarker" style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote9-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">9</a> </sup><span style="background-color: white;">True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I wonder if it is possible for one marriage partner to jettison the other and become completely whole.</span><span style="background-color: yellow;"> Either partner who diminishes the divine role of the other in the presence of the children demeans the budding femininity within the daughters and the emerging manhood of the sons.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> I suppose there are always some honest differences between husband and wife, but let them be settled in private.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">It must be recognized that some marriages fail. </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">To those in that circumstance I extend understanding because every divorce carries heartache with it.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> But at all costs couples should avoid covenant breaking. In my opinion, any promise between a man and a woman incident to a marriage ceremony rises to the dignity of a covenant. The family relationship of father, mother, and child is the oldest and most enduring institution in the world. It has survived vast differences of geography and culture. This is because marriage between man and woman is a natural state and is ordained of God. It is a moral imperative. Those marriages performed in our temples, meant to be eternal relationships, then become the most sacred covenants we can make. The sealing power given by God through Elijah is thus invoked, and God becomes a party to the promises.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Over a lifetime of dealing with human problems, I have struggled to understand what might be considered “just cause” for breaking of covenants. I confess I do not claim the wisdom nor authority to definitely state what is “just cause.” Only the parties to the marriage can determine this. They must bear the responsibility for the train of consequences which inevitably follow if these covenants are not honored. In my opinion, “just cause” should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently irredeemable relationship which is destructive of a person’s dignity as a human being.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">At the same time, I have strong feelings about what is not provocation for breaking the sacred covenants of marriage. Surely it is not simply “mental distress” nor “personality differences” nor “having grown apart” nor “having fallen out of love.” This is especially so where there are children. </span><span style="background-color: white;">Enduring divine counsel comes from Paul:</span></div>
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“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”<sup class="noteMarker" style="font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote10-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">10</a></sup></div>
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“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, [and] to love their children.”<sup class="noteMarker" style="font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote11-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">11</a></sup></div>
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<h2 style="background-color: white; color: #2a3753; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important;">
The Most Effective Cure</h2>
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<span style="background-color: white;">In my opinion, members of the Church have the most effective cure for our decaying family life. </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">It is for men, women, and children to honor and respect the divine roles of both fathers and mothers in the home.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> In so doing, mutual respect and appreciation among the members of the Church will be fostered by the righteousness found there. In this way, the great sealing keys restored by Elijah, spoken of by Malachi, might operate “to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse.”</span><sup class="noteMarker" style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote12-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">12</a></sup></div>
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President Joseph Fielding Smith (1876–1972) stated concerning the keys of Elijah: “This sealing power bestowed upon Elijah, is the power which binds husbands and wives, and children to parents for time and eternity. It is the binding power existing in every Gospel ordinance. … It was the mission of Elijah to come, and restore it so that the curse of confusion and disorder would not exist in the kingdom of God.”<sup class="noteMarker" style="font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote13-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">13</a> </sup>Confusion and disorder are all too common in society, but they must not be permitted to destroy our homes.</div>
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Perhaps we regard the power bestowed by Elijah as something associated only with formal ordinances performed in sacred places. But these ordinances become dynamic and productive of good only as they reveal themselves in our daily lives. Malachi said that the power of Elijah would turn the <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">hearts</span> of the fathers and the children to each other.<sup class="noteMarker" style="font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote14-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">14</a> </sup>The heart is the center of the emotions and a conduit for revelation. This sealing power thus reveals itself in family relationships, in attributes and virtues developed in a nurturing environment, and in loving service. These are the cords that bind families together, and the priesthood advances their development. In imperceptible but real ways, “the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul [and thy home] as the dews from heaven.”<sup class="noteMarker" style="font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2004/08/fathers-mothers-marriage?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote15-24908_000_002" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">15</a></sup></div>
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I testify that the blessings of the priesthood, honored by fathers and husbands and revered by wives and children, can indeed cure the cancer that plagues our society. I plead with you fathers to magnify your priesthood calling; bless your families through this sacred influence, and experience the rewards promised by our Father and God.</div>
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<div id="references" style="background-color: white; font-size: 11px; margin-top: 1.3em !important;">
<ol style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif !important; font-size: 10pt !important; line-height: 16pt !important; margin-bottom: 30px; margin-left: 20px; margin-right: auto !important; margin-top: auto !important;"><h3 class="title" style="color: #3c424e; font-size: 9pt !important; font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 0.3em !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important;">
Notes</h3>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote1-24908_000_002">1.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/83.2?lang=eng#1" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">D&C 83:2</a>.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote2-24908_000_002">2.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/83.4?lang=eng#3" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">D&C 83:4</a>.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote3-24908_000_002">3.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/84.99?lang=eng#98" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">D&C 84:99</a>.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote4-24908_000_002">4.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/29.48?lang=eng#47" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">D&C 29:48</a>.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote5-24908_000_002">5.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
Karl Zinsmeister, “Fathers: Who Needs Them?” (address delivered to the Family Research Council, 19 June 1992).</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote6-24908_000_002">6.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
“Woman’s Status,” <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Woman’s Exponent,</span> 15 July 1872, 29.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote7-24908_000_002">7.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/2-sam/18.33?lang=eng#32" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">2 Sam. 18:33</a>.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote8-24908_000_002">8.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/matt/19.5-6?lang=eng#4" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">Matt. 19:5–6</a>.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote9-24908_000_002">9.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
Magdeleine Scudéry, in John P. Bradley and others, comps., <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">The International Dictionary of Thoughts</span> (1969), 472.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote10-24908_000_002">10.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/eph/5.25?lang=eng#24" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">Eph. 5:25</a>.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote11-24908_000_002">11.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/titus/2.4?lang=eng#3" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">Titus 2:4</a>.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote12-24908_000_002">12.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/110.15?lang=eng#14" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">D&C 110:15</a>; see also <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/mal/4.6?lang=eng#5" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">Mal. 4:6</a>.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote13-24908_000_002">13.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Elijah the Prophet and His Mission</span> (1957), 5.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote14-24908_000_002">14.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
See <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/mal/4.5-6?lang=eng#4" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">Mal. 4:5–6</a>.</div>
</li>
<li class="footnote " id="-24908_000_002" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-24908_000_002"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote15-24908_000_002">15.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/121.45?lang=eng#44" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">D&C 121:45</a>.</div>
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</div>
</div>Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-41147665330633025762012-07-25T07:30:00.000-07:002012-07-25T07:30:16.384-07:00Greed: When Enough Is Not Enough<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/1989/06/greed-when-enough-is-not-enough?lang=eng">Greed: When Enough Is Not Enough</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">BY RICHARD TICE</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Assistant Editor</span></div>
These days on television, greed seems to be the fashion: rich oilmen ruin their families for money, drug runners count their toll in ruined lives as a profit, young executives flaunt their successes with expensive cars and fancy condominiums.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, the media glitz suggests that greed is a problem only for certain kinds of people or that it will infect us only a few times in our lifetime. In reality, <span style="background-color: yellow;">greed is a fairly universal sickness</span>. Poverty is certainly not an antidote for it, but then, neither is wealth. <span style="background-color: yellow;">You can find greed wherever you live—it knows no class, race, nation, or language.</span><br />
<br />
<b>The Symptoms of Greed</b><br />
Greed shows up in many ways. Paul says, “The love of money is the root of all evil.” (1 Tim. 6:10; italics added.) The symptoms of greed are legion. For instance, Colossians 3:5 and 2 Nephi 9:30 tell us that covetousness is idolatry. [Col. 3:5, 2 Ne. 9:30] When we set our hearts upon anything other than God, we in effect worship “the image of [our] own god, whose image is in the likeness of the world.” (D&C 1:16.) Another problem that often attends avarice is the feeling that we never have enough. (See Isa. 56:11; D&C 56:17.) <span style="background-color: yellow;">In many ways, greed is the antithesis of love: it does not suffer long, it is not kind, it envies, it puffs itself up, its behavior is unseemly, it seeks its own, it is easily provoked, and it thinks evil. Greed also fosters thievery, dishonesty, lust, and pride</span>. (See 1 Cor. 13:4–5; Ex. 20:17; Micah 2:2; Micah 6:10–11; 2 Ne. 28:15.)<br />
<br />
I first began to understand greed through one of the most unusual jobs I’ve ever had. My father and two of his army buddies started a government contracting company in South Vietnam after he retired from the service. It was one of several businesses that handled jobs the armed forces subcontracted out. Dad’s company bid on U.S. government service contracts and security jobs. In 1972, Dad suggested that I work with them that summer in helping write bids and contracts. The salary, he pointed out, would cover the expenses of my upcoming mission. Despite the danger at that time in the Far East, I decided to accept the job.<br />
<br />
The lure and availability of money in a low-expense, unstable, war-torn nation proved fertile ground for the seeds of greed. Though the official exchange rate was 118 piasters to a dollar, the black-market rate was 450 piasters to a dollar. Many dabbled in illegal investments. At least one American I knew built a fortune that way before he was caught. Buying piasters on the black market and selling them at the official rate further weakened an already-weak money system.<br />
<br />
During the three months I was in Saigon and Hong Kong, I spent a total of about four hundred dollars, yet I lived far better than I had in the United States. Most American civilians I knew employed several servants and lived in villas left from the French occupation. I remember several conversations I had with acquaintances about whether we were preying on a weak economy or helping to strengthen it.<br />
<br />
Saigon featured an unusual price system—the Vietnamese paid one price, the Americans another. For example, a haircut that would cost me 1,200 piasters would cost the Vietnamese only 20 or 30. Unfortunately, even some of the more well-to-do Vietnamese were drawn by U.S. money to act dishonestly. Policemen, for instance, would stop Americans and fine them on trumped-up charges—they had to be paid before the Americans could go on their way.<br />
<br />
That summer, the armed forces put up 690,000 tons of scrap metal for sale. Buyers would be responsible for transporting the metal outside of Vietnam, where markets paid about twelve dollars or more per ton. My father’s company bought approximately 40,000 tons of scrap, bidding seven dollars a ton, which was high bid. Dad planned to find a buyer outside of Vietnam who would advance part of the payment, enabling his company to pay the $280,000 to the U.S. government before the thirty-day deadline was up. As middleman, my father would arrange to cut the scrap into movable pieces, transport it to the dock, load it onto a boat he had scheduled, and ship it to the prospective buyers. The company could make between two and three dollars a ton.<br />
<br />
One day, a man representing some Hong Kong investors offered to buy the scrap, promising to pay half now and half on delivery. But he kept stalling, and the deadline for payment kept getting nearer. Dad finally discovered that the man hoped to make Dad’s company forfeit so that he could buy the metal for less when it again went up for bidding. He hid his plans from the people he represented in order to pocket the difference. Fortunately, Dad got an extension to pay for the scrap, and the man was fired. However, the company had to start paying nearly one thousand dollars a day for storage.<br />
<br />
As it turned out, there were plenty of bids for the nearly seven hundred thousand tons of scrap, but no one was able to get the metal outside of Vietnam. Transportation and labor costs skyrocketed. Each union—truck drivers, stevedores, and other workers—as well as individuals asked such high wages that moving the scrap would cause a loss. Many even sabotaged others’ efforts by refusing to work. Dad ended up paying more than twenty thousand dollars in storage costs. When the United States pulled out of the country, all the scrap metal was still there.<br />
<br />
In those three months, I learned some sobering facts about greed. <span style="background-color: yellow;">No one is immune to it, and everyone must guard against it. It shows itself in a multitude of ways. At its worst, it results in cutthroat business practices, dishonesty, cheating, lying, disloyalty, theft, inequality, and murder. At its subtlest, it alienates friends and distorts one’s values.</span><br />
<br />
Another reason greed is so insidious is that it can be nearly invisible. Our contemporary life-styles not only encourage but also mask it.<br />
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A few months after my experience in Vietnam, I left for a mission in Japan. Then, in 1976, I returned to Japan, with my wife and daughter, to teach English. We rented a sparsely furnished Japanese-style house with a tiny backyard. The largest room was both living room and bedroom. We had no oven, clothes dryer, or central heater. (Most Japanese still don’t use them.) For transportation, we used bicycles and buses. Our life-style was not much different from that of most Japanese.<br />
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We enjoyed our three-year stay in Japan immensely. I missed having an oven, but I loved the way we could roll up our beds and stuff them into a closet. Cleaning such a small house (about four hundred square feet) was a snap. I learned to like sundried clothes better than clothes tumbled in a dryer. I fell in love with bicycles, and using them to go to church or to go shopping proved to be easier than I had thought. The simplicity of home life was a welcome change from the hectic pace of teaching twelve language classes and fulfilling several callings in a small branch of the Church. We could save fairly easily, too. We weren’t tempted to buy things on credit—the practice was minimal in Japan—and our expenses were low. (Our rent was about $125 a month.)<br />
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Although learning to do without some conveniences I had been used to was not easy, coming back to the States was even more difficult. <span style="background-color: yellow;">I’m still amazed at how much Western society encourages and, in some cases, forces spending.</span> Furniture, appliances, and cars are just some of the things many families expect to own. American manufacturers, for example, offer major appliances in sizes ranging from large to largest. In Japan, we owned the second-largest refrigerator model available, and it was still smaller than the smallest standard model I could find in U.S. stores. In the United States and Canada, houses are big. Those who buy a house expect to spend between $45,000 and $200,000, depending on where they live. There aren’t many less-expensive alternatives, and most of us don’t anticipate any.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Of course, living comfortably isn’t a sin</span>. But some societies have developed such expensive standards of living that greed surreptitiously begins its work. Home owners buy larger and more expensive beds, furniture, fixtures, drapes, television sets, refrigerators, ovens, washers, dryers—and then add garages, patios, and dishwashers. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Typically, people take out extensive loans and use up much of their savings and much of their income to buy these things.</span><br />
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Such a life-style sets traps of greed. For example, <span style="background-color: yellow;">doing without can easily create a feeling of dissatisfaction, especially when we’re doing without things that we consider necessary and not luxurious. On the other hand, buying them burdens our income, and we may find ourselves chafing under financial bondage. Without realizing it, we start to long for more money, complain about how little we have or how hard things are financially, and feel that we do not yet have the “essentials.”</span><br />
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In thinking of the expenses of furnishing a home and putting in a yard, I often forget that I already have four to five times as many material things as I had in Japan. And compared with what the Vietnamese had when I lived in Vietnam, I’m fabulously wealthy. <span style="background-color: yellow;">We simply may not recognize what we have because we’re so busy thinking about what we don’t have.</span><br />
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On top of this are the vast number of material attractions that go with life in well-to-do countries. Everything has better, more-expensive brands or models. There are also articles not considered “essentials” that would be fun to have: computers, videocassette recorders, second or third cars, motorbikes, boats, motor homes, air conditioners, satellite dishes, and so on. All are advertised in endless array.<br />
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Are any of these extras really bad? Many people have a number of them, and we ourselves may have bought some and discovered how much fun they are. But if we aren’t careful, can we begin to covet these things and push our faith in Jesus Christ to the background? Does our desire for pleasure and physical gratification ever undercut our efforts to live the Lord’s commandments?<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">It isn’t the possession of these material things that injures us as much as it is our attitudes toward them</span>. Those of us who have sufficient for our needs must constantly guard against false expectations and warped attitudes. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Dissatisfaction with what we have and eager anticipation of what we might buy next are subtle manifestations of greed.</span> They can lead to anger about tight budgets and apparently inadequate incomes.<span style="background-color: yellow;"> Our attitudes and expectations can also be colored by ignorance. We may think we don’t have much or that we have about what other people have. But our lack of knowledge about other people and economies may mislead us into thinking that our standard of living really is “standard.”</span> Last year, for instance, a visitor from Shanghai stayed with my family for a few days. He was about to return to China and wanted to take his wife some inexpensive gifts not readily available there. We took him to a department store, where he pointed out all sorts of small items that were new to him. He ended up choosing mirror sunglasses and a can opener with revolving handle.<br />
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<b>Belief in the “Gospel of Wealth”</b><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Sometimes greed infects those who mistakenly believe that God rewards righteous living with material wealth.</span> Certainly, one of the oft-repeated promises in the Book of Mormon is this:<br />
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“If ye will keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land.” (Alma 37:13.)<br />
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That parallels the more general promise: “Keep the charge of the Lord thy God, to walk in his ways, to keep his statutes, and his commandments, … that thou mayest prosper in all that thou doest.” (1 Kgs. 2:3.)<br />
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There is a difference between wealth and prosperity, however. The Lord has promised that if we serve him, we will prosper and have sufficient for our needs. But wealth is another matter. With so many millions in the world who don’t have enough for their daily needs, why should we expect the Lord to make us wealthy?<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">And yet, many of us continue to expect that our material conditions will automatically improve if we remain faithful. Some tithe payers even think of tithing in terms of an investment—expecting their tithes, like good stock investments, to pay dividends in greater material wealth. After all, they feel, the Lord has promised that he will open the windows of heaven to those who tithe. (See Mal. 3:8–12.) That promise, however, may have spiritual as well as temporal overtones. The only concrete promise in Malachi is that the Lord will rebuke the devourer; it makes no promise of material gain.</span><br />
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Elsewhere, the Lord talks about the nature of the riches that he may give us: “If ye seek the riches which it is the will of the Father to give unto you, ye shall be the richest of all people, for ye shall have the riches of eternity.” Then he adds a warning about earthly wealth: “It must needs be that the riches of the earth are mine to give; but beware of pride, lest ye become as the Nephites of old.” (D&C 38:39.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">There is no doubt that the Lord does bless us—but in his way</span>. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Many who diligently try to keep the Lord’s commandments do not flourish financially. Many, in fact, may find themselves at times unable to make ends meet. Yet they can point to spiritual riches the Lord has given them that they would never trade for a new car or a more luxurious home.</span><br />
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They are experiencing the blessings that accompany this admonition: “Seek not for riches but for wisdom; and, behold, the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto you, and then shall you be made rich. Behold, he that hath eternal life is rich.” (D&C 11:7.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Sadly though, some fall victim to greed when they think that the Lord and his church are failing them economically.</span> Paul describes the result in his love-of-money passage: “They have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” (1 Tim. 6:10.)<br />
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A modern-day account illustrates what some have called the “gospel of prosperity.” One couple, when they joined the Church, were enthusiastic about the gospel and Church service. But after two and a half years, they left the Church. <span style="background-color: yellow;">They could never shake the idea that they ought to receive something for everything they did. </span>The spirituality and joy they initially felt were soured by their expectations of material rewards.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">We ought to have faith that the Lord will bless us for our efforts, but we must not hand him a “shopping list” of the blessings we expect to receive.</span> <span style="background-color: yellow;">Our greed begins when we think more about what God owes us than what we owe him.</span> The Lord has promised the faithful the “riches of eternity.” We should be content with that promise and serve for the joy of serving.<br />
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<b>Some Cures for Greed</b><br />
Fortunately, the Lord has not left us helpless in a world that promotes the philosophy that we can have anything we want for money. Not only has he described the symptoms of greed clearly in the scriptures (see Prov. 15:27; Luke 12:15; Mosiah 4:21–25; D&C 104:4), he has also given us instructions on how to prevent greed or overcome it. Just as greed can undermine our allegiance to gospel principles, our allegiance to gospel principles can fortify us against greed.<br />
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One cure mentioned more than a hundred times in the standard works is <span style="background-color: yellow;">giving to the poor.</span> The ideal—no poor among us—was, in fact, achieved at least three times previous to our dispensation by people who unselfishly shared what they had. (See Acts 4:32–34; 4 Ne. 1:3; Moses 7:18.) One period in the Church during Alma’s time exemplifies how wonderfully greed can be stayed by giving:<br />
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“In their prosperous circumstances, they did not send away any who were naked, or that were hungry, or that were athirst, or that were sick, or that had not been nourished; and they did not set their hearts upon riches; therefore they were liberal to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, whether out of the church or in the church, having no respect to persons as to those who stood in need.” (Alma 1:30.)<br />
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Here, prosperity worked for the people instead of against them because they gave liberally and did not set their hearts on their possessions. If there is a “gospel of prosperity,” perhaps this is it.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Gratitude is also a wonderful cure for greed.</span> As awareness of the gifts and love of God deepen within us, we begin to put our lives in eternal perspective. If we understand the Atonement of our Lord Jesus Christ, how can we possibly expect our good works to “earn” us more than what God has already given us? King Benjamin taught:<br />
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“If you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another—<br />
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“If ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.” (Mosiah 2:20–21.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Perhaps the best preventive medicine is love of God and others—for charity does not envy, is not puffed up, and does not seek her own.</span> The love of money may be the root of all evil, but “charity preventeth a multitude of sins.” (JST, 1 Pet. 4:8.) A person with the pure love of Christ wants to help, bless, and care for others rather than acquire material things to feed a self-centered attitude. Greed is an attitude we can change. We should be thankful that the Lord has given us the means by which we can overcome it.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-31362743029102897632012-07-17T07:57:00.001-07:002012-07-17T07:58:44.417-07:00Becoming Free From Bondage<br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><i>The following is some counsel given by a member of my ward who is struggling to overcome the effects of bondage: They will remain anonymous. I hope you find the counsel uplifting</i></span><i> </i><br />
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"And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenants which ye have made unto me: and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage, and I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions. ( mosiah 24:13-14)<br />
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The definition of "bondage" according to the dictionary is to be in a state of being bound by, or subjected to some external power or control. Whether you yourself struggle with addiction, or associate with someone who does, you know the great sorrow that can be experienced. The power of the Savior can turn our most devastating defeats into glorious spiritual victories. Those who once lived with daily depression, anxiety, fear, and debilitating anger, can experience joy and peace through the atonement of Jesus-Christ. Some people consider addiction to be simply bad habits that can be conquered by will power alone, but many people become so dependant on a behavior, or a substance that they no longer see how to abstain from it. There is hope.<br />
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After many years of being in "bondage" to the substance of nicotine, and trying repeatedly over those years to rid myself of it, I found great comfort and solace the day I made up my mind that I was powerless without the Saviors help. I knew I could not conquer this dragon by will power alone. i got down on my knees, and told our heavenly-father that I needed his help from breaking free of this substance. I prayed with all the energy of heart that the craving would be taken from me, and that over time, my body would be cleansed from the harsh chemicals. I expressed my great love for him, and for the atonement that he has so freely given. Almost immediately after I got up from my knees, I felt different. I no longer craved that substance...I was free from it. It has been several months, and still to this day, I no longer desire it. It has been a personal testimony to me of just how aware the Savior is of each of us. A miracle was performed that day, which I will never forget. My greatest hope through sharing this story is that those who may be struggling with this addiction, or another addiction perhaps...will have hope for themselves, or a loved one that they can be "set free" with the help of the Savior, through the atonement of the Lord Jesus-Christ."<br />
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<br /></div>Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-80913109519772188872012-07-17T07:06:00.003-07:002012-07-17T07:06:50.306-07:00Overcoming Our Mistakes<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://www.lds.org/liahona/1981/07/overcoming-our-mistakes?lang=eng&query=%22as+a+man+thinketh%22">Overcoming Our Mistakes</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>BY LOWELL L. BENNION</b></span></div>
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I had a friend who not long ago spent an hour and a half telling me about his wife who a few years back made a big mistake in her life and who does nothing now but brood over it. She has lost her purpose and joy in living and has even threatened to commit suicide. All of her wonderful potential as a human being has come to a halt, and this is tragic for her and her family. Furthermore, because she is so unhappy within herself, she makes life almost unbearable for her friends and her husband.<br />
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Historians have said you can’t fight a war on two fronts; if you do, you generally lose. I find, too, that you can’t carry on personally two battles in life—one the outside battle and the other the battle within yourself. And he who fights himself least is better prepared to fight the outside battle best. In fact, the outside battle is always there. To enjoy life is to acknowledge that it is a battle and there will always be problems. There will always be disappointments, and one must learn to enjoy the battle rather than the successful outcome.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">All of us make mistakes</span>, and some of us very serious ones. Any thoughtful person feels a kind of failure because of his sins or moral failures. If there are any sinners in the Church besides myself, I am talking to you, and <span style="background-color: yellow;">I’d like to suggest what we might do about coping with our failures of the past so that they don’t immobilize us for life today and for fighting the outside battle.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Here are just a few suggestions on what we might do to overcome our feeling of failure, our feeling of wrongdoing, and learn to live with all our power in the present without dragging the mistakes of the past with us.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">One doesn’t get clean by rolling in the mire.</span> One doesn’t get clean and whole by brooding unduly over the past, although we can certainly learn from our mistakes. I’ve learned that there’s no strength in weakness; there’s no strength in sin; and we don’t overcome our mistakes and our sins by fighting them directly. I think we may succumb to them if we dwell upon them too much.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">The second suggestion I have is that we ought to realize that no matter what we’ve done in life, no matter what we do, God and Christ still love us just as much as they did before we failed. </span>God and Christ do not separate themselves from the sinner, from the wrongdoer.<br />
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I remember a missionary who had just recently returned from the mission field who came into the Institute of Religion when I was there. He had committed a grave mistake that caused him to think that his life was ruined forever. And I said to him, “God loves you just as much today as he did last Thursday,” and he couldn’t believe it. The thought had never occurred to him. He wept like a child. <span style="background-color: yellow;">You know, sometimes we think that God loves us to the extent that we please him, to the extent that we’re good boys and girls, good men and women. Love from God is not earned. It is not merited; if it is, it is justice and reciprocity and reward. Love comes from a loving heart, and God’s love is unconditional. </span>And he loves the worst of us and the best of us equally, I believe. We cause him to suffer when we do wrong, when he sees us live our lives in ways that destroy us, and when he sees us hurting other people—this must cause him pain.<br />
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Fathers, when you’re worried about your sons, you don’t love them less, and when they’re in trouble, you’re not less anxious. You really love them more. I can understand why Jesus said that when the shepherd went after the lost sheep and brought him home there was more rejoicing in heaven over the one that was lost than over the ninety and nine that were safe in the fold.<br />
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We once had a child who was very very ill and on the borderline of possible death. Our other children were well at the time. We loved the child who was ill; we rejoiced at the time of his recovery more than over the others who were well. At the moment that seemed to be the most important thing in our lives. And I think that that’s the way Christ and God must feel about the person who has done wrong and who comes back. Even before he comes back I think God is forgiving, whether he repents or not. He asks us to forgive. He doesn’t say forgive when people repent. He says forgive seven times seventy. I don’t think God would ask me to be forgiving when he is not. I think somehow that the principles of the gospel are his principles, too. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Therefore, the reason we have to repent is to be able to forgive ourselves and to be able to get in harmony again with the principles and laws of good living.</span> We don’t have to repent to earn God’s love, even though some scriptures portray him as being very angry with the sinner. Others portray him as angry with sin, not with the sinner.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Another way to overcome the past is to make amends. </span>We know when we’ve done wrong, but sometimes we’re afraid to go to those whom we’ve wronged. We are too proud to admit our failures. But when we have the courage to do it, we find that a great reconciliation takes place. It’s the offended person’s responsibility to react to our efforts to be reconciled. <span style="background-color: yellow;">And when we can’t compensate a person for a wrong, when it’s too late or impossible, then we can bless other people</span>. We all belong together in this world. We’re brothers and sisters with the same Eternal Father; we belong to the same human community. There are others we can bless, though we can’t repair the damage we may have done to some of his children.<br />
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The past that some of us regret at certain points is not as fixed and rigid as we ordinarily think it is. <span style="background-color: yellow;">If you have shameful moments in your past, you’re prone to isolate them, to make them rigid, and to think of them as being fixed. You can change your past. You can’t change single events in the past, but you can change the past as a whole the importance of every event in one’s past is constantly changing because of the kind of past that we’re building.</span><br />
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Years ago, a young girl confessed to my wife and me a very tragic period of her life. I won’t tell you about her life, but it was a tragic life, and I’ve never seen a girl with sadder eyes than this lovely girl of eighteen. And in trying to give her some comfort and hope for the future,<span style="background-color: yellow;"> I realized that we’re adding to our past; we’re building onto it each day we live. Life is not a rigid, fixed, quantitative kind of thing. It’s a growing, qualitative, whole thing. And the whole is greater than any of its parts, and gives meaning to its parts.</span> My arm by itself hung on the wall is one thing; my arm as a part of my body and servant of my mind is another thing. An event in that girl’s past, or even ten events, were one thing at eighteen when she was in the depths of despair. And then she came into the fold, was baptized into the Church, found some faith in Christ, converted her husband, reared a fine family, and her life has been going like this ever since. This valley of failure in her life is one thing by itself; it’s another thing when it’s one dip in a long beautiful life. This idea makes life dynamic: it’s comforting and exciting to know that you can improve.<br />
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I think God feels this way about our lives. Here is a familiar verse from Ezekiel. He says, “But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die. All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him …” (Ezek. 8:21–22). <span style="background-color: yellow;">The past is only significant in terms of what it has made you become.</span><br />
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Ezekiel continues: “All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done, he shall live. Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord God: and not that he should return from his ways and live?” (Ezek. 18:22–23). And Isaiah said: “… though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” (Isa. 1:18.)<br />
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This I believe. If God loves us, his only interest is in us. “Let no one be called unhappy ’til his death. Measure not the work until the day is over and the labor is done.” I would say, don’t measure life ever—even into eternity—we’re still building on it; we’re changing it.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">We ought to be aggressive in our desire and effort to do what is right. Many of us do wrong because we’re not thinking of the right.</span> Our concept of the gospel is very general—we feel good about it; we have a testimony; but we don’t define what we believe in. We don’t say, I’m going to be honest, and what does honesty mean? And what does chastity mean, and what is the spirit of it, and what is the nature of it? I think we get caught unprepared when we don’t define for ourselves, repeatedly, what we believe, what values we hold to. We don’t tell ourselves why we believe in these values so that they become our very own—a part of us. They’re not God’s laws only; they’re our laws, too, because we’ve tested them and we believe in them. You don’t sit back apathetically and see what happens to you. You do better than your opponent.<br />
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Now why not be aggressive—and I don’t mean with words to boast or to be loud—why not clarify what values we believe in? This applies to you whether you’re a believer or a nonbeliever—Latter-day Saint, Catholic, Jew, Protestant, atheist, or anything else. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Every man has to be whole within himself. Every man has to be one to be a man. He has to have integrity. You can’t have integrity without clarifying your convictions or values or goals</span>. You can change them, but you must always have some. And so you clarify your ideals and you determine to act according to them. If you’re going to work in a bank and handle money, don’t decide while you’re handling money whether or not you’ll be honest. Decide before you go into the bank, before you accept the job. Say in your morning prayer, “Lord, help me not to take money today!” Money is such a temptation when your wife needs so many things. It is so easy to replace, we think. This is the way we get caught in dishonest actions. The apostle Paul said, “Wherefore, take unto you the whole armor of God … Stand, therefore, having your loins girt about with truth and have on the breastplate of righteousness and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.” (Eph. 6:13–15.) These words don’t mean much to us as symbols in this day, but “put on the armor of God,” and face life with whatever ideals you believe in, and uncertainty will disappear.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Make a friend of Jesus Christ</span>. In the sacramental prayer each Sabbath day we hear and say that we bear witness to the Father that we take upon us the name of Jesus Christ, and always remember him, and keep his commandments, that we might have his Spirit to be with us. Now what does it mean to take upon us the name of Christ? What does it mean to always remember him? How many of us make him part of our daily lives without being fanatical, without behaving as if we belonged to some other world but still living in the world? How do we draw upon the strength that comes with fellowship with our Savior? Do we leave it to Protestants to talk about fellowship with Christ?<br />
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I had an experience in the mission field that is very memorable to me. A man came to me after Church—he was twice my age, a very unhappy person—and told me that he had committed a grave sin before he joined the Church, that his wife would not forgive him, would not divorce him, and constantly reminded him that he was a worthless person. He said, “I’ve come to think of myself as she thinks I am. How can I be whole again and pure of heart, clean in my thoughts?” I said, “What have you tried to do for this problem?” He said, “I’ve fought it. I’ve fought it.” I told him there must be a better way than to fight sin. We knelt in prayer together, and afterwards I gave him a book to read—As a Man Thinketh in His Heart, So Is He—and then I put my arm around him, gave him a firm handclasp, and told him that he could overcome his problem. And then by inspiration or coincidence I said to him, “How would you like to prepare the Lord’s supper for Sunday School?” (He was a teacher in the Aaronic Priesthood.) He said, “Do you think I’m worthy to do this?” I said, “No, I don’t think any of us really are. But I think Jesus would be pleased if you would render him this service.” And so he proceeded to set the Lord’s table each Sunday morning. After about six weeks I met him coming up the aisle before Sunday School. I put out my hand to reassure him. He put his hand behind his back and said nothing. I said, “Have I offended you?” He said, “Oh, no. I’ve just washed my hands with soap and hot water, and I can’t shake hands with you or any man until I’ve set the Lord’s table.” That’s the most beautiful reverence I’ve seen in that simple act of setting the Lord’s table. I was so pleased. In another six weeks he came to me after church again and said, “I’m a new man.”<br />
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Then I asked him to give a talk in church on some principle of the gospel of Christ that he really believed in and why. I kept thinking about the Savior. Well, serving the Savior in a simple way and thinking about him during the week, this man became a new creature. It was beautiful. And I realized that I’d never used the Savior in my own life in the same way. I don’t mind telling you that I did after that. I had the wonderful thrill of overcoming what I thought was a weakness in me by thinking of the Savior and making him the center of my prayers and my life.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Well, my young friends, the biggest tragedy of life is not to live—not to function with your full soul, with your whole life, with enthusiasm, with spirit, with faith, with love. And so, I humbly pray that none of you will be so burdened by mistakes, by failures, and by sin that you won’t have the courage and the wisdom to turn to the ideals of the gospel, to the wonderful Son of God, and to each other to find the strength to live life as it is meant to be lived. It’s a beautiful existence we have, and it is not too late for any of us to enjoy it to the fullest.</span>Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-30841961772930095472012-07-17T06:48:00.003-07:002012-07-17T06:57:12.039-07:00Overcoming Addiction<br />
<i>The following is some counsel given by a member of my ward who is struggling to overcome an addiction: They will remain anonymous. I hope you find the counsel uplifting. </i><br />
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"When we think of all Jesus did during his ministry, we sometimes lose sight of the fact that the primary reason he came to this earth was anomalous rescue us from satan's power.<br />
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The jews did not recognize Christ as the long awaited Messiah, because they were looking for a militant leader who would free them from Roman oppression. But Jesus came to rescue them from an even greater captivity; the self-imposed slavery of hate, resentment, bitterness, self-condemnation, unresolved guilt, weaknesses, bad habits, and even addictions. He came with the mission to release us, through the power of his love and forgiveness, into a life of abundance and joy. His greatest desire is not for fame or position, but to wrap us in the arms of his love and remove every obstacle that prevents us from being all our Heavenly-father intended for us to be.<br />
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One of the great themes of the scriptures is that no one can fall below the reach of God's infinite, unconditional, and unwavering love. There is nothing that a person can do to make God love him more than he already does, and there is nothing one can do that will cause God to love him any less.<br />
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Heavenly- father doesn't want to see us fall...he wants to see us rise. He wants what is best for us, and allows us to experience hardship, such as struggling through addiction in order for us to realize greater blessings. What is required is a complete transformation of our hearts. No one can change the carnal nature of the heart and disposition to do evil like the grace and mercy of the Savior, through the atonement.<br />
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We may do much good in controlling behavior, but until we allow Jesus-Christ to alter our hearts and desires, we will suffer a continual struggle between the desires of the flesh and the will of the spirit. I struggled in my addiction with alcohol 'cause I felt I could overcome it alone for a long time, until I realized that I could not overcome this without the Saviors help. The natural man in me wanted that drink...especially after I had a hard day. Each day that passes, I sometimes am really tempted to have that drink, but the Savior has promised us that we would not be tempted above that which we can bear ( alma 13:28). <br />
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He has already paid the price. All any of us need to do is ask in humility through earnest prayer for him to help us overcome our weaknesses...whatever they may be. As you ask in humility for him to help you, you will experience an overwhelming feeling of peace, and love that the Savior personally has for you, regardless of what your weaknesses are. He is waiting with open arms to receive you, but you have to ask for his help. Satan would have you believe that you have gone too far, or you are so absorbed in the addiction that it has taken over your life to where there is no hope. These are some of his many lies. If he can prevent you from going to church, or reading in the scriptures by telling you that you are unworthy because of choices you have made...then he has won half the battle.<br />
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Don't allow him to push you down his slippery slide into utter destruction and misery. Take it from someone who was at the bottom of his slide for awhile, and had to fight my way back without the companionship of the holy-ghost. I can't begin to tell you how lonely, and depressing that road was. It started with curiosity from when I started hanging out with the wrong group of people, and had my first substance. I felt I could handle it...that I was strong enough to prevent things from getting out of hand. Curiosity lead to continuing to justify things that I would do, until before I knew it, that curiosity turned into something BIG, and I lost my membership in the Lords true church. I was open to the buffetings of satan and his followers, and I WAS buffeted...day and night until I was able to be re-baptized. Don't permit yourself to get to this point. Don't say to yourself that you can prevent things from getting out of hand, 'cause you can't. Satan is very real."<br />
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<br /></div>Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-89401789132552959532012-06-28T07:11:00.000-07:002012-06-28T07:12:42.546-07:00Pollution of the Mind<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/1973/01/pollution-of-the-mind?lang=eng&query=%22as+a+man+thinketh%22">Pollution of the Mind</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>ELDER ROBERT L. SIMPSON</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Assistant to the Council of the Twelve</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
Oh, that the three billion people in this world could have heard what we just heard from the lips of a wonderful man, Elder LeGrand Richards; and oh, that three billion people could have heard what the priesthood heard last night from the lips of a living prophet, President Harold B. Lee. Through the mind of the Lord, President Lee was able to identify many of the problems confronting mankind today. I would like to discuss for just a moment, if I may, one of the very important problems that seems to be filtering into our homes and into our communities.<br />
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Before drawing the breath of life on this earth, we were all spiritual beings living in the realm of God, the Eternal Father. Scripture reveals that even before our spiritual birth, <span style="background-color: yellow;">each of us had individual identification as an intelligence.</span> Before all else could take place, there had to be that beginning spark of light, that spark of intelligence or, if you please,<span style="background-color: yellow;"> the marvelous mechanism that controls our every thought, that controls our every act</span>. <span style="background-color: yellow;">We might think of this spark of intelligence as perhaps the nucleus of a human mind.</span><br />
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No wonder it has been said: “As a man thinketh, so is he.” The master control center within each individual must be regarded as the key. Signals flashing out to the various parts of the body bring instant reaction; in sum and substance, this center dictates the character, the conscience, the strength, and yes, even the weaknesses of every man.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">From the beginning of time, there has been a never-ending struggle to influence and control the human mind.</span> Too often, the false promises and enticements of conspiring men have been successful. How much more effective to capture the control center than a mere outpost.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">The mind of man must first depend upon quality input before it can be counted upon to render good decisions.</span> Like the most sophisticated computer, only with its properly designed control panel in proper place and in working order can the system be depended upon to produce the desired results.<br />
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It was Paul who made the observation that the whole must be fitly framed before the properly functioning church can be recognized and identified. <span style="background-color: yellow;">It must naturally follow then that the pollution of a single church member’s mind will indeed affect the whole.</span> If pollution touches even a segment of the church, then the entire church is weakened. The church can be no stronger than its members. <span style="background-color: yellow;">By the same token, the degradation of a family member weakens the entire family unit</span>. Applied to a nation, when a segment of its citizenry becomes contaminated by frequenting the cesspools of its society, that nation indeed is weakened.<br />
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Thousands have said: “Printed filth will never become an obsession with me. I am a mature adult, and I have the right to see what is going on in the world without becoming trapped.” But hardly a day passes that we don’t listen to alcoholics and drug abusers who are now looking back with regret on their beginning days of social drinking and mild drug experimentation just to satisfy a so-called mature curiosity.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Evidence is conclusive that mind-polluting pornography is just as addicting and just as devastating as Satan’s other tools of destruction and degradation.</span> As expressed in the last line of Alexander Pope’s poem: “We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">The gradual infiltration of this mind-polluting material has quietly engulfed us on a wide front.</span> Today’s so-called acceptable motion picture would have been banned from public viewing just a few short years ago. Many of the recommended reading lists of our public schools would have been classified as unacceptable less than a generation ago. All of us, by the flip of a switch, allow much highly questionable and some downright objectionable filth to occupy the center stage of our family circle. Public attitude against smut has very gradually been lulled into a state of mild resistance—so mild, in fact, that the adversary has already won a major victory whether we are ready to admit it or not.<br />
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Now the question follows: Is there really anything that can be done? Why, of course there is, and if every God-fearing citizen would band together on a few fundamental steps, this entire trend could be turned around.<br />
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How about taking a few minutes, for example, to voice objection to the local supermarket manager about easy availability and prominent display of unacceptable material on his periodical display rack.<br />
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How about taking just five minutes each week to review the TV log and then establishing a few rules that all the family agrees to concerning viewing time and on which channel.<br />
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Why not make some effort to find out something about the next movie that will engage your family’s undivided attention for two and a half or three hours and will probably cost you far more than you contributed to the poor and the needy that month. It goes without saying that all X- and R-rated movies are automatically eliminated.<br />
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Perhaps we should all become a lot more interested in what the school is recommending and making available to our children. How many school meetings or visits did you make during the past year?<br />
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Do the men you vote for feel as you do on these vital matters? Is there some legislation that needs to be encouraged, some petitions that need to be circulated, some telephone calls that need to be made? God gave us a democratic process for a good reason. Do we use this process to help his cause? Not enough! The opposition is certainly misusing it, all in the name of free speech. You and I must keep the record straight on what God intended by freedom of speech and some of the obligations connected with it.<br />
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Satan is the master of deceit. He perverts man’s God-given attributes from their noble and divine purpose onto a downward track. All seem to agree that one of man’s most demanding and ever-present drives is centered in his desire for companionship and sexual fulfillment. To have this highly sensitive and divine human mechanism falsely aroused by unnatural processes creates a serious conflict in that vital control center, the mind. Rationalization quickly rallies to the side of the victim of off-color literature, because rationalization helps him to live with his conscience. <span style="background-color: yellow;">He tells himself that his drives are God-given and, therefore, not that bad.</span> He also tells himself, “Nearly everybody does it. I am not so different,” and while he may not be so very different, he is just exactly 100 percent wrong in the eyes of God.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Now a mind that has been deceived into receiving trashy input cannot but send false signals to the feet, the hands, and the tongue. Future decisions will all be colored by the impurity allowed to enter that control center of his entire being.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">As you invite unclean thoughts to become a part of your total being, be assured some of your faculties will become considerably sharpened. Your temper will be sharpened. Your tongue will be sharpened. Your desire for more trash will be sharpened. Your ability to shade the truth will be sharpened. Yes, just about every negative part of your character will be enhanced.</span><br />
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There will also be a noticeable diminishing effect in your life. Your personality will be diminished. Your family relationships will be impaired. Your ability to pray will be lessened. Your spirit will be affected adversely, and your testimony of the truth will start to slip away, probably so gradually at first that you won’t even realize it is happening until it is too late. The Lord has said: “… Be ye clean that bear the vessels of the Lord.” (D&C 38:42.)<br />
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Every prophet from the beginning of this earth has had foreknowledge of our day with its pitfalls and hazards. The scriptures alone give us the formula for avoiding disaster. I like what the Lord says in the 121st section of the Doctrine and Covenants: “… let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.” (Verse 45.) [D&C 121:45]<br />
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We have been admonished to read good books and to avoid idleness, and as President David O. McKay used to say so eloquently: “<span style="background-color: yellow;">The true measure of a man is how he spends his time when he doesn’t have to do anything.</span>” This, of course, brings us around to self-discipline, which is the major key in the total avoidance of illicit literature.<br />
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Are there any books or literature in your possession that would have no place in the personal library of President Harold B. Lee? Someone has said: “Which way to go, the leader will know.” Don’t you think we should follow his example? Do you allow material to enter your mind that would be incompatible with entrance into the celestial kingdom of God?<br />
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Church membership contemplates only one thing—to qualify for his holy presence. Why jeopardize that possibility? The oft-quoted wisdom of President Heber J. Grant bears repetition here: “<span style="background-color: yellow;">That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself has changed, but the power to do is increased.</span>” (Ralph Waldo Emerson.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">It works in both directions: the power to accept pornography, as our senses become numbed, or the power to reject as we declare with Joshua of old</span>: “… choose you this day whom ye will serve; … as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Josh. 24:15.)<br />
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To whom shall we turn for our direction in these vital matters? A prophet of God has spoken within the past few days. Here are the exact words of the First Presidency on this vital subject: “Pornographic filth continues to flood this country as well as other nations of the world.<br />
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“There is abundant evidence of the damaging effect of obscenity on the solidarity of the family, on the moral fiber of the individual.<br />
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“We, with many leaders outside the Church, are deeply concerned about this growing obscenity in print, on record and tape, on television, and in motion pictures.<br />
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“We therefore urge Latter-day Saint parents to teach their children to avoid smut in any of its many insidious forms. ‘Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly.’ (D&C 121:45.)<br />
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“The Lord has also said: ‘Set in order your houses; keep slothfulness and uncleanness far from you.’ (D&C 90:18.)<br />
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“We also encourage Latter-day Saints as citizens to exert every effort to fight the inroads of pornography in their communities. History is replete with examples of nations which have fallen in a large measure through licentiousness.”<br />
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May we accept this timely counsel. Your personal welfare and the eternal future of your entire family unit may depend upon it, and I say it in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-83918305956299226332012-06-27T07:06:00.000-07:002012-06-27T07:06:17.320-07:00As a Man Thinketh<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://www.lds.org/braille/The%20Miracle%20of%20Forgiveness.txt">Chapter Eight (Miracle of Forgiveness)</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>As a Man Thinketh</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Spencer W Kimball</b></span></div>
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... Filthy dreamers defile the flesh ... --Jude 8<br />
Thoughts are the seeds of acts.<br />
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Akin to sins of omission are "thought sins." we learn from one of the proverbs: "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." (Prov. 23:7.)<br />
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Thoughts Shape Our Lives<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts</span>. On this theme Henry Van Dyke gave us the following verse:<br />
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Thoughts Are Things<br />
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I hold it true that thoughts are things;<br />
They're endowed with bodies and breath and wings;<br />
And that we send them forth to fill<br />
The world with good results, or ill.<br />
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That which we call our secret thought<br />
Speeds forth to earth's remotest spot,<br />
Leaving its blessings or its woes<br />
Like tracks behind it as it goes.<br />
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We build our future, thought by thought,<br />
For good or ill, yet know it not.<br />
Yet, so the universe was wrought.<br />
Thought is another name for fate;<br />
Choose, then, thy destiny and wait.<br />
For love brings love and hate brings hate.<br />
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Not only does a person become what he thinks, but often he comes to look like it. If he worships the God of War, hard lines tend to develop on his countenance. If he worships the God of Lust, dissipation will mark his features. If he worships the God of Peace and Truth, serenity will crown his visage. A thoughtful poet gave us this:<br />
A human face I love to view<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>And trace the passions of the soul;<br />
On it the spirit writes anew<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Each thought and feeling on a scroll.<br />
There the mind its evil doings tells,<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>And there its noblest deeds do speak;<br />
Just as the ringing of the bells<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Proclaims a knell or wedding feast.<br />
-�Author unknown<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Inescapably we reap what we sow</span>. If a farmer wants to raise wheat he must sow wheat, if he wishes fruit he must plant fruit trees, and so with any other crop. The principle is equally binding in the mental and spiritual spheres, as James Allen has expressed it in his well-known book, As a Man Thinketh.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>As the plant springs from, and could not be without the seed, so every act of a man springs from the hidden seeds of thought, and could not have appeared without them. This applies equally to those acts called "spontaneous" and "unpremeditated" as to those which are deliberately executed. ...<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>In the armory of thought [man] forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. ... Between these two extremes are all grades of character, and man is their maker and master. ... <span style="background-color: yellow;">Man is the master of thought, the moulder of character, and the maker and shaper of condition, environment and destiny</span>.10 1<br />
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Cumulative Effect of Thoughts<br />
This relationship of character to thought cannot be too strongly emphasized. <span style="background-color: yellow;">How could a person possibly become what he is not thinking</span>? Nor is any thought, when persistently entertained, too small to have its effect. The "divinity that shapes our ends" is indeed in ourselves. It is one's very self. In speaking of carving out a character, President David O. McKay has said:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Your tools are your ideals.<span style="background-color: yellow;"> The thought in your mind at this moment is contributing, however infinitesimally, almost imperceptibly to the shaping of your soul, even to the lineaments of your countenance even passing and idle thoughts leave their impression. </span>Trees that can withstand the hurricane, sometimes yield to destroying pests that can scarcely be seen except with the aid of a microscope. Likewise, the greatest foes of the individual are not always the glaring evils of humanity but subtle influences of thought and of continual association with companions.<br />
The cumulative effect of our thinking, and its power over life's circumstances, is strikingly expressed by James Allen:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of grovelling thoughts and base desires.</span> <span style="background-color: yellow;">Nor does a pure-minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of mere external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power.</span> Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself. No such conditions can exist as descending into vice and its attendant sufferings apart from vicious inclinations, or ascending into virtue and its pure happiness without the continued cultivation of virtuous aspirations, and man, therefore, as the lord and master of his thoughts is the maker of himself, the shaper and author of environment. ...<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">Let a man radically alter his thoughts and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life</span>. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit and habit solidifies into circumstance.</span>11 2<br />
This "solidifying into circumstance" is the key to most of the success stories we read. The successful man thinks he can. As someone expressed it briefly and pointedly, "<span style="background-color: yellow;">Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right.</span>" Allen enlarges on this idea:<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize i</span>t. Columbus cherished a vision of another world, and he discovered it; Copernicus fostered the vision of a multiplicity of worlds and a wider universe, and he revealed it; Buddha beheld the vision of a spiritual world of stainless beauty and perfect peace, and he entered into it.12 3<br />
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Thoughts Govern Acts and Attitudes<br />
The statement, "As a man thinketh, so is he," could equally well be rendered "<span style="background-color: yellow;">As a man thinketh, so does he.</span>" If one thinks it long enough he is likely to do it. A minister acquaintance of mine, whom I knew rather well, was found by his wife hanging in the attic from the rafters. His thoughts had taken his life. He had become morose and despondent for two or more years. Certainly he had not come to suicide in a moment, for he had been a happy, pleasant person as I had known him. It must have been a long decline, ever steeper, controllable by him at first and perhaps out of hand as he neared the end of the trail. No one in his "right mind," and especially if he has an understanding of the gospel, will permit himself to arrive at this "point of no return."<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Not only acts but attitudes rest on the thoughts we feed our minds.</span> A young couple bickered and quarreled until their marriage was ended and divorce was final. They had been involved romantically with another erring couple. The man and the woman both wrote me, trying to smooth out the wrinkles and to make me feel justified and reconciled to their false conclusions. I acknowledged their letters in these terms:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Old man rationalization finally has convinced two basically good people that "evil is good, and good evil," and threads are now broken and solemn contracts are voided and solemn promises are abrogated when minds became incubators in which little thoughts grew to become vicious thoughts, and small acts of impropriety become near unforgivable acts affecting adversely the lives of four adults and many children. You have fallen in step with the world which seems intent on believing that good is evil and evil is good, and that black is white and darkness is light.<br />
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Our Thoughts Influence Others<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">No one has a right arbitrarily to shape the thoughts of others, but that is not to say that one's thoughts are entirely his own affair.</span> Each of us inevitably affects others by the character his thoughts and actions have shaped. Each of us is part of mankind and gives to others as well as receives from them. One perceptive comment, whose authorship I do not know, expressed it in this way:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Into the hands of every individual is given a marvelous power for good or evil the silent, unconscious, unseen influence of his life. This is simply the constant radiation of what man really is, not what he pretends to be. ... Life is a state of constant radiation and absorption; to exist is to radiate; to exist is to be the recipient of radiation.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Man cannot escape for one moment from this radiation of his character, this constant weakening or strengthening of others. He cannot evade the responsibility by saying it is an unconscious influence. He can select the qualities that he will permit to be radiated. He can select the calmness, trust, generosity, truth, justice, loyalty, nobility�make them vitally active in his character�and by these qualities he will constantly affect the world.<br />
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Accountability for Our Thoughts<br />
Thus far we have considered mainly the effect thoughts have on our life here. But what of the hereafter?<br />
When I was about fourteen years of age I read the Bible through. It was a long, arduous task for me but I finished it with a degree of pride. When I read that all men would be judged according to their works, that seemed plausible and I thought I must mind my actions and my works. Then I read what the Savior said to the people of Palestine.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>... <span style="background-color: yellow;">Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment</span>.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. (Matt. 12:36-37.)<br />
This seemed to me far-fetched, for when I "cussed" the cows which struck me in the eyes with their cocklebur-matted tails or kicked over the milk bucket, I looked around and there was not a single soul in the corral to hear me; and though the cow could hear, perhaps she could not interpret. And when I quarreled with my brothers out in the field, I was sure there were no other ears within many blocks. How then could one be judged by his words?<br />
That was bad enough but there was worse to follow, for I later read in the Book of Mormon the words of a prophet saying that even our thoughts will condemn us.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>... <span style="background-color: yellow;">Our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us ... and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God. ... (Al. 12:14.)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">It is well for all of us to realize that our thought sins as well as all other sins are recorded in heaven.</span> Modern revelation gives us this:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Nevertheless, ye are blessed, for the testimony which ye have borne is recorded in heaven for the angels to look upon; and they rejoice over you, and your sins are forgiven you. (D&C 62:3.)<br />
And this:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>For verily the voice of the Lord is unto all men, and there is none to escape; and there is no eye that shall not see, neither ear that shall not hear, neither heart that shall not be penetrated. (D&C 1:2.)<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">If men's secret acts shall be revealed it is likely that their secret thoughts will also be revealed, for the iniquities of the rebellious shall be spoken from the housetops.</span><br />
The one who harbors evil thoughts sometimes feels safe in the conviction that these thoughts are unknown to others and that they, like acts in the dark, are not discernible. The Revelator, John, seemed to clear this matter when he wrote:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. (Rev. 20:12.)<br />
And in the last days an angel will "<span style="background-color: yellow;">sound his trump, and reveal the secret acts of men, and the thoughts and intents of their hearts ."</span> (D&C 88:109.)<br />
Accordingly, men's deeds and thoughts must be recorded in heaven, and recording angels will not fail to make complete recordings of our thoughts and actions. We pay our tithing and the bishop records it in his book and gives us a receipt. But even if the entry fails to get in the ward record, we shall have full credit for the tithes we paid. There will be no omissions in the heavenly records, and they will all be available at the day of judgment. President John Taylor emphasized this:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Man sleeps the sleep of death, but the spirit lives where the record of his deeds is kept.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Man sleeps for a time in the grave, and by and by he rises again from the dead and goes to judgment; and then the secret thoughts of all men are revealed before him with whom we have to do; we cannot hide them; it would be in vain then for a man to say, "I did not do so and so"; the command would be, unravel and read the record which he has made of himself and let it testify in relation to these things, and all could gaze upon it.13 4<br />
At that day we may be sure that we shall receive fair judgment. The judges will have the facts as they may be played back from our own records, and our voices and the pictures of our acts and the recordings of our thoughts will testify against and for us.<br />
President J. Reuben Clark gave sober attention to this thought:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But there is one whom you do not deceive, and that is Christ, our Lord. He knows all. Personally, I have felt that nobody need keep much of a record about me, except what I keep myself in my mind, which is a part of my spirit. I often question in my mind, whether it is going to require very many witnesses in addition to my own wrongdoing.<br />
Perhaps sometime all of us have felt that we were misjudged and that our sincere and well-intentioned efforts were not understood. How comforting it is to know that on judgment day we shall be treated fairly and justly and in the light of the total, true picture and the discernment of the Judge!<br />
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Nothing Secret to God<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">There are no corners so dark, no deserts so uninhabited, no canyons so remote, no automobiles so hidden, no homes so tight and shut in but that the all-seeing One can penetrate and observe.</span> The faithful have always known this. The doubters should take a sober look at the situation in the light of the electronic devices which have come into increasing use in the last few years and which are often delicate and tiny but so powerful as almost to annihilate man's personal privacy.<br />
These devices can apparently be used to reveal actions and even to tap thoughts. The lie detector is almost commonplace. Dreams are analyzed. Wire tapping has come prominently into use. A certain paint has been used as a conductor of electricity. A tiny outlet can pick up anything said in a room. Transmitters are built into picture frames, door knobs, typewriters, clocks, and other things. A palm-size direction microphone with pocket receiver and "hearing aid" attachment is capable of picking up a whisper fifty feet away. An eight-year-old lad in an eastern city can pick up a conversation 100 feet away in other people's homes. A policeman aimed the device 150 feet and could understand much of what was being said. One specialist had his instrument in the olive in a nearby martini; another in the mouthpiece of a telephone; another in the glove compartment of the car dashboard, in the handle of his brief case, and even in the cavity of a tooth of an intimate associate.<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">In the light of these modern marvels can anyone doubt that God hears prayers and discerns secret thoughts?</span> A printer's camera can make a negative three feet square. What magnification! If human eyes and ears can so penetrate one's personal life, what may we expect from perfected men with perfected vision!<br />
Every day, we record our voices on recording machines. Every day, pictures are taken and voices recorded and acts portrayed in live transmission over television. The scriptures indicate the existence of records of our works and words. Surely it is not too great a stretch of the imagination in modern days to believe that our thoughts as well will be recorded by some means now known only to higher beings!<br />
When I was a little boy, some imaginative story teller in offering his "greatest yarn" told of some woodsmen in the far north who sat around the campfire in the far-below zero weather, and all at once their voices failed to register sound. It was so cold that the sounds were frozen. Later, when the warm rays of the spring sun came, the frozen sounds of the cold winter began to thaw and there came back the total conversations of that cold night in camp.<br />
Today, when sounds are picked out of the air from all around the world, this does not seem such a fanciful tale as it did to us long ago.<br />
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Discernment of God's Servants<br />
God "knowest thy thoughts and the intents of thy heart." (D&C 6:16.) The Savior at Jacob's well, without ever having seen the adulterous Samaritan woman before, told her: ... "Thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband ." (John 4:18.) The Lord knew of her adultery as he knew her whole life. Likewise the Lord liked into the dark recesses of the cold and corrupt hearts of the scribes and Pharisees who brought before him the woman taken in adultery. The Savior gave his classic answer, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." (John 8:7.) Their thoughts condemned them, and they melted away like snow under a summer sun.<br />
A similar power of discernment and perception comes to men as they become perfect and the impediments which obstruct spiritual vision are dissolved. For example, Ananias and Sapphira (see Acts 5:1-10) secretly conspired to lie to God, but Peter was inspired to read their thoughts. There are many examples of this power, both ancient and modern. A story came down to my family about my grandfather, Heber G. Kimball. I repeat it as it was told to me:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Being in charge of the Endowment House, while the Temple was in the process of construction, Heber C. Kimball met with a group who were planning to enter the temple for ordinance work. He felt impressed that some were not worthy to go into the temple, and he suggested first that if any present were not worthy, they might retire. No one responding, he said that there were some present who should not proceed through the temple because of unworthiness and he wished they would leave so the company could proceed. It was quiet as death and no one moved nor responded. A third time he spoke, saying that there were two people present who were in adultery, and if they did not leave he would call out their names. Two people walked out and the company continued on through the temple.<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Men of God are entitled to this discernment.</span><br />
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The Savior's Word on Thought Sins<br />
Of vital interest to us is the interpretation of the Lord with regard to the sins of thought. His great sermons toward the beginning of his ministry revealed a new concept. He had been the author of the law under which the children of Israel had lived. He now seemed to hope that his people might begin to live the higher laws. At least, he felt to expound them and urged the people to observe them. He recalled the lower law and followed with the higher:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. ... (Matt. 5:21-22.)<br />
The killing is an act of aggression. But anger is a thought sin. It may be the forerunner of murder. But if one's thoughts do not get vicious nor violent he is unlikely to take life.<br />
Again, Jesus spoke of the practice of "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth," and came forward with the higher law:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>... Whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matt. 5:39.)<br />
This would be very difficult to do and it is the response of a man well on his way to perfection, but the rightness of it is apparent. To retaliate and fight back is human, but to accept indignities as did the Lord is divine. In advance, he was possibly anticipating the time when he himself would be tested; when he would permit himself to be kissed by a known traitor yet not resist; when he would be captured by a vicious mob yet not permit his loyal Apostle Peter to defend him, though Peter apparently was willing to die fighting for him.<br />
A similar idea is involved in this contrast of the lower and higher laws:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. (Matt. 5:43-44.)<br />
Then we have the moral laws. The Lord remembered the profligacy and wantonness and bestiality of the days of old against which such strict laws were enacted. Perhaps in that day, if one could refrain from actual physical adultery he had been accounted quite righteous, but now came the higher law:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. (Matt. 5:27-28.)<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">The thought that stirred the look that provoked the lust was evil in its beginning. To want, to desire, to crave--that is to lust. So when the thought is born which starts a chain reaction, a sin has already been committed.</span> If the thought is sown, then develops into lust, it is almost certain to bring eventually the full harvest of the act of the heinous sin, adultery. Note that the term lust has other connotations in addition to the sexual one.<br />
Murder is generally thought of as premeditated killing, and certainly no such act was ever completed unless the thought had preceded the action. No one ever robbed a bank until he had "cased" it, planned the robbery and considered the "getaway." Likewise adultery is not the result of a single thought. There first is a deterioration of thinking. Many sinful chain-thoughts have been coursing through the offender's mind before the physical sin is committed.<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Yes, as a man thinketh, so does he. If he thinks it long enough he is likely to do it, whether it be theft, moral sin, or suicide.</span> Thus the time to protect against the calamity is when the thought begins to shape itself. Destroy the seed and the plant will never grow.<br />
Man alone, of all creatures of earth, can change his thought pattern and become the architect of his destiny.<br />
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Avoid the Initial Motivation<br />
A graphic example of this came to my attention some years ago. In a community in the North, I visited a man occasionally who had above the desk in his printing establishment a huge picture of a nude woman. He laughed at the idea of its being destructive to his morals. But one day years later he came to me with a stained soul he had committed adultery. His house had fallen in on him. Certainly the thoughts provoked by the things always before his eyes must have had a deteriorating effect on him. There may have been other factors, but surely this one played its part.<br />
We would all be well advised to avoid the motivation to the evil thought. If persistently resisted it will "get the message" and stay away. When I was in business in Arizona, the calendar salesman came each year and we always bought calendars and gave them to customers as advertising. The first year the salesman spread out on the desk: large, colored pictures of scantily clad girls, glamorous but shocking. We pushed them all aside and chose scenes, landscapes, and elevating pictures. In all the years following, that salesman never brought to me out of his car another suggestive picture.<br />
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Think Virtuous Thoughts<br />
I came across the following sentence whose authorship I do not know:<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>A famous artist said he would never allow himself to look at an inferior drawing or painting, to do anything low or demoralizing, lest familiarity with it should taint his own ideal and thus be communicated to his brush.<br />
It would be well for each of us to observe the same principle, lest the tainting of his ideal be communicated to his eternal soul. Accordingly, let our thoughts rest upon sacred things.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>... Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. (D&C 121:45. Italics added.)<br />
President McKay likes to quote the following:<br />
Sow a thought, reap an act;<br />
Sow an act, reap a habit;<br />
Sow a habit, reap a character;<br />
Sow a character, reap an eternal destiny.<br />
Such is the power�and the outcome�of our thoughts.<br />
1.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>James Allen, As a Man Thinketh. The entire book is recommended to the thoughtful reader.<br />
2.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Ibid.<br />
3.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Ibid.<br />
4.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Journal of Discourses, Vol. 11, pp. 78-79.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-70830698618875344472012-06-19T06:37:00.001-07:002012-06-19T06:37:56.133-07:00Self Mastery<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1985/10/self-mastery?lang=eng&query=%22as+a+man+thinketh%22">Self-Mastery</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">RUSSELL M. NELSON</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles</span></div>
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If our faith be united in prayer that we may be edified together, I should like to speak about our <span style="background-color: yellow;">quest for self-mastery</span>. In so doing, I would converse as a loving father counseling one of my own children.<br />
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Before you can master yourself, my precious one, <span style="background-color: yellow;">you need to know who you are</span>. <span style="background-color: yellow;">You consist of two parts—your physical body, and your spirit which lives within your body</span>. You may have heard the expression “mind over matter.” That’s what I would like to talk about—but phrase it a little differently: “<span style="background-color: yellow;">spirit over body.</span>” That is self-mastery.<br />
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When you arrived as a newborn baby, your little body was master. You had what I call the “I-want-what-I-want-when-I-want-it” philosophy. No amount of discussion could postpone your impatient demands when you wanted to be fed—and now! Like all parents, we anxiously anticipated the first smile, a word, a glimpse at the potential of the spirit within your tiny body. Is there a mother who has not cradled her baby as your sweet mother did, in wistful wonder of the destiny of her dear little one? Even Mary, the mother of Jesus, might have asked such questions:<br />
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Baby, lyin’ in a manger, slumberin’ so sweetly,<br />
What you goin’ to be?<br />
Baby, all the world is watchin’, all the world awaits to see.<br />
What will you be?<br />
Baby, sleepin’ in a stable, underneath the heaven,<br />
What you goin’ to say? …<br />
Baby, lyin’ in a manger,<br />
Will you save the world one day?<br />
Through those early years, we parents are properly concerned with physical needs of our children, such as food, clothing, and shelter.<br />
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But as you grow older, our concerns shift more toward your spiritual growth, in order that you might achieve your full potential. “<span style="background-color: yellow;">For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit … and becometh a saint.</span>” (Mosiah 3:19.)<br />
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That requires self-mastery. Remember, “<span style="background-color: yellow;">The spirit and the body are the soul of man</span>” (D&C 88:15.) Both are of great importance. Your physical body is a magnificent creation of God. It is his temple as well as yours, and must be treated with reverence. Scripture declares: “Ye are the temple of God. … If any man defile [it], him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.” (1 Cor. 3:16–17.)<br />
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Remarkable as your body is, its prime purpose is even of greater importance—to serve as tenement for your spirit. Abraham taught that “these … spirits … existed before, they shall have no end … for they are … eternal.” (Abr. 3:18.)<br />
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Your spirit acquired a body at birth and became a soul to live in mortality through periods of trial and testing. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Part of each test is to determine if your body can become mastered by the spirit that dwells within it.</span><br />
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Although your spirit had a veil of forgetfulness placed over it at the time of your birth into mortality, it retained its power to remember all that happens—precisely recording each event of life. Indeed, scriptures warn “that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” (Matt. 12:36.) Prophets refer to our “bright recollection” (Alma 11:43) and “perfect remembrance” (Alma 5:18) at that day of decision.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Since thoughts precede deeds, you must first learn to control your thoughts. “As [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Prov. 23:7.)</span><br />
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In your quest for self-mastery, full participation in the activities of the Church will help. I’ll mention but a few. A first step comes as we learn together to<span style="background-color: yellow;"> keep the Sabbath day hol</span>y. This is one of the Ten Commandments. (See Ex. 20:8; Deut. 5:15.) We honor the Sabbath “to pay [our] devotions unto the Most High” (D&C 59:10), and because the Lord declared: “It is a sign between me and you … that ye may know that I am the Lord that doth sanctify you.” (Ex. 31:13; see also Ezek. 20:20.)<br />
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Another step toward self-mastery comes when you are old enough to observe the law of the fast. As funds are contributed from meals missed, the needs of the poor may be met. But meanwhile, through your spirit, you develop personal power over your body’s drives of hunger and thirst. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Fasting gives you confidence to know that your spirit can master appetite.</span><br />
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Some time ago your mother and I visited a third-world country where sanitary conditions were much poorer than ours. We joined with a delegation of other doctors from all over the world. The president of our group, an experienced traveler, warned of risks. In order to avoid water that might be contaminated, we were even counseled to brush our teeth with an alcoholic beverage. We chose not to follow that counsel, but simply did what we had learned to do once a month. We fasted that first day, thinking we could introduce simple food and fluids gradually thereafter. Later, we were the only ones in our group without disabling illness.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Fasting fortifies discipline over appetite and helps to protect against later uncontrolled cravings and gnawing habits.</span><br />
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Another step toward self-mastery comes from <span style="background-color: yellow;">obedience to the Word of Wisdom</span>. Remember, it contains a “promise, adapted to the capacity of … the weakest of all saints.” (D&C 89:3.) It was given “in consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days.” (D&C 89:4.) Indeed, as you develop courage to say no to alcohol, tobacco, and other stimulants, you gain additional strength. You can then refuse conspiring men—those seditious solicitors of harmful substances or smut. You can reject their evil enticements to your body.<br />
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If you yield to anything that can addict, and thus defy the Word of Wisdom, your spirit surrenders to the body. <span style="background-color: yellow;">The flesh then enslaves the spirit</span>. This is contrary to the purpose of your mortal existence. And in the process of such addiction, your life span is likely to be shortened, thereby reducing the time available for repentance by which your spirit might attain self-mastery over your body.<br />
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Other physical appeals come during your courtship period. In your youth, you may be challenged by restraints of parents hoping to guide you through this wonderful period of life.<br />
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Because the adversary is keenly aware of the power of physical temptation, Alma instructed his son and all of us: <span style="background-color: yellow;">“See that ye bridle all your passions</span>.” (Alma 38:12.)<br />
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When you marry, you and your eternal companion may then invoke the power of procreation, that you may have joy and rejoicing in your posterity. This divine endowment is guarded by your <span style="background-color: yellow;">Creator’s law of chastity.</span> All through the years, remember: chastity is the powerful protector of virile manhood and the crown of beautiful womanhood.<br />
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In courtship and marriage, virtue seems to come under attack first. Mental turmoil that trails in the wake of weakness from lust has evoked many a tear from innocent loved ones. Without repentance, tumult within self does not quit either.<br />
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Shakespeare expressed such self-conflict as one of his characters contemplating conquest in lust spoke these lines:<br />
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What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?<br />
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.<br />
Who buys a minute’s mirth to wail a week?<br />
Or sells eternity to get a toy?<br />
For one sweet grape who will the vine destroy?<br />
Prophets have repeatedly cautioned about moral sin. One, for example, warned: “O, my beloved brethren, remember the awfulness in transgressing against that Holy God, and also the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one. Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.” (2 Ne. 9:39; see also Rom. 8:6; Alma 36:4; D&C 29:35; D&C 67:10.)<br />
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Now don’t misunderstand me.<span style="background-color: yellow;"> I would not want you to neglect your body. It deserves daily care.</span> <span style="background-color: yellow;">Physical conditioning through regular exercise requires self-mastery too.</span> I marvel at Elder Joseph Anderson, now in his ninety-sixth year. For decades, the strength of his spirit over his body has induced him to swim regularly. But his motivation has never been to attain physical longevity. That has come only incidentally. His desire has been to serve God and His anointed. Elder Anderson has followed what I label as the Lord’s prescription for a long and useful life. Those faithful in “magnifying their calling, are sanctified by the Spirit unto the renewing of their bodies. They become … the elect of God.” (D&C 84:33–34.)<br />
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Elder Anderson’s exercise program agrees with the perspective of Paul, who said: “Bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.” (1 Tim. 4:8.)<br />
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Handsome and fit, Elder Anderson personifies this scripture: “<span style="background-color: yellow;">Glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.</span>” (1 Cor. 6:20.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">As you work during the productive years of life, whether at home or in the field, in the factory or at a workbench, reputation is built and character is forged as you develop self-mastery</span>. Faithful payment of tithing is part of that process. It defends you against dishonesty or shabby temptations. Courageous accountability for your own actions becomes a cherished prize.<br />
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It really matters what you listen to, what you look at, what you think, say, and do. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Select music that will strengthen your spirit</span>. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Control your speech</span>; keep it free from profanity and vulgarity. Follow the teachings of this proverb: “My mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.<br />
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“All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing … perverse in them.” (Prov. 8:7–8.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">As you approach old age, you will face new challenges to self-mastery.</span> Symptoms of the deteriorating body can be painful, even disabling. Deep aches of sadness are caused by the departing of loved ones. For some, these deepening trials come early in life. But when yours are thrust upon you, remember a concept expressed by my father some time after my mother had passed away. Your grandparents had been married for sixty-four years. When someone asked how he was doing, my father simply stated, “I’m lonely, but I’m not lonesome.” Do you know what he meant? Though he was now without his sweetheart, he was so busy assisting family and friends, he had replaced sorrow with service and had displaced self-pity with selfless love. He had found joy in following the timeless example of the Master.<br />
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Jesus, our Savior, was born in the lowliest of circumstances. For his baptism he was immersed in the lowest body of fresh water upon the planet. In service and suffering, he also “descended below” all things (D&C 122:8), that he could rise above all things. Near the end of his life, he triumphantly declared, “I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33.) “Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life.” (3 Ne. 15:9.) Scriptures tutor us at least twenty-six times * to endure to the end to attain eternal life. Then we will obtain a resurrected body—one that is incorruptible, glorified, and prepared to live in the presence of God.<br />
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To reach your highest destiny, emulate the Savior. He proclaimed, “What manner of men ought ye to be? … Even as I am.” (3 Ne. 27:27.) <span style="background-color: yellow;">Our loftiest hope is to grow in spirit and attain “the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children.”</span> (Eph. 4:13–14.)<br />
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You will then be well prepared for that pending day of judgment when, as taught by President Spencer W. Kimball, “the soul, composed of the resurrected body and the eternal spirit, … will come before the great judge to receive its final assignment for the eternity” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, p. 46.)<br />
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Remember, my dear one, not an age in life passes without temptation, trial, or torment experienced through your physical body. But as you prayerfully develop self-mastery, desires of the flesh may be subdued. And when that has been achieved, you may have the strength to submit to your Heavenly Father, as did Jesus, who said, “Not my will, but thine, be done.” (Luke 22:42.)<br />
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When deepening trials come your way, remember this glorious promise of the Savior: “To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.” (Rev. 3:21.)<br />
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Christ is our great Exemplar. I declare, as a special witness, that he is the Son of God and “is the life and the light of the world.” (Alma 38:9; see also D&C 11:28.) We develop self-mastery as we become like him, I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-70655923163557094942012-06-18T07:27:00.000-07:002012-06-18T07:27:04.079-07:00Think on Christ<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/1984/04/think-on-christ?lang=eng&query=%22as+a+man+thinketh%22">Think on Christ</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>BY PRESIDENT EZRA TAFT BENSON</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles</b></span></div>
<img alt="Ezra Taft Benson" src="http://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/images/leaders/ezra-taft-benson-10.jpg" />
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The Product of My Thoughts<br />
To introduce my theme, I want to tell you, in his own words, of a life-changing experience that happened to President George Albert Smith when he was a boy. His words are as follows:<br />
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“As a child, thirteen years of age, I went to school at the Brigham Young Academy. … I cannot remember much of what was said during the year that I was there, but there is one thing that I will probably never forget. … Dr. [Karl G.] Maeser one day stood up and said:<br />
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“‘<span style="background-color: yellow;">Not only will you be held accountable for the things you do, but you will be held responsible for the very thoughts you think</span>.’<br />
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“Being a boy, not in the habit of controlling my thoughts very much, it was quite a puzzle to me what I was to do, and it worried me. In fact, it stuck to me just like a burr. About a week or ten days after that it suddenly came to me what he meant. I could see the philosophy of it then. All at once there came to me this interpretation of what he had said: <span style="background-color: yellow;">Why of course you will be held accountable for your thoughts, because when your life is completed in mortality, it will be the sum of your thoughts.</span> That one suggestion has been a great blessing to me all my life, and it has enabled me upon many occasions to avoid thinking improperly, because I realize that <span style="background-color: yellow;">I will be, when my life’s labor is complete, the product of my thoughts</span>.” (George Albert Smith, Sharing the Gospel with Others, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Company, 1948, pp. 62–63.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Thoughts lead to acts, acts lead to habits, habits lead to character—and our character will determine our eternal destiny.</span><br />
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King Benjamin understood this. In the next to last verse of his great discourse recorded in the Book of Mormon, he states: “And finally, I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them.” (Mosiah 4:29.)<br />
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Then in the last verse he counsels that we must watch ourselves and our thoughts. (See Mosiah 4:30.)<br />
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When Christ appeared in America following His resurrection, He stated: “Behold, it is written by them of old time, that thou shalt not commit adultery;<br />
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“But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman, to lust after her, hath committed adultery already in his heart.<br />
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“Behold, I give unto you a commandment, that ye <span style="background-color: yellow;">suffer none of these things to enter into your heart</span>.” (3 Ne. 12:27–29.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">“Enter into your heart”—why, of course, for as the scripture states: “As he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”</span> (Prov. 23:7.)<br />
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So critical is it that we understand the necessity of controlling our thoughts that President Spencer W. Kimball devoted a whole chapter to it in his book The Miracle of Forgiveness (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969). The chapter captioned “As a Man Thinketh” is the title of a book by James Allen which President Kimball recommended. He quoted from this book three times. One quotation stated:<br />
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“<span style="background-color: yellow;">A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of grovelling thoughts and base desires. Nor does a pure-minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of mere external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power. Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.”</span> (Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 105.)<br />
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President Kimball also quotes President David O. McKay, who said:<br />
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“<span style="background-color: yellow;">The thought in your mind at this moment is contributing, however infinitesimally, almost imperceptibly to the shaping of your soul, even to the lineaments of your countenance … even passing and idle thoughts leave their impression.”</span> (Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 105.)<br />
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The mind has been likened to a stage on which only one act at a time can be performed. From one side of the wings the Lord, who loves you, is trying to put on the stage of your mind that which will bless you. From the other side of the wings the devil, who hates you, is trying to put on the stage of your mind that which will curse you.<br />
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You are the stage manager—you are the one who decides which thought will occupy the stage. Remember, the Lord wants you to have a fullness of joy like His. The devil wants all men to be miserable like unto himself. You are the one who must decide whose thoughts you will entertain. You are free to choose—but you are not free to alter the consequences of those choices. You will be what you think about—what you consistently allow to occupy the stage of your mind.<br />
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Sometimes you may have difficulty driving off the stage of your mind a certain evil thought. To drive it off, Elder Boyd K. Packer suggests that you sing an inspirational song of Zion, or just think on its words. Elder Bruce R. McConkie recommends that after the opening song, you might preach a sermon to yourself. In fact, he says the finest sermons he has ever preached have been preached to himself.<br />
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We should not invite the devil to give us a stage presentation. Usually with our hardly realizing it, he slips into our thoughts. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Our accountability begins with how we handle the evil thought immediately after it is presented.</span> Like Jesus, we should positively and promptly terminate the temptation. We should not allow the devil to elaborate with all his insidious reasoning.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">It is our privilege to store our memories with good and great thoughts and bring them out on the stage of our minds at will.</span> When the Lord faced His three great temptations in the wilderness, He immediately rebutted the devil with appropriate scripture which He had stored in His memory.<br />
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“Look unto Me in Every Thought”<br />
The Lord said, “Look unto me in every thought.” (D&C 6:36.) Looking unto the Lord in every thought is the only possible way we can be the manner of men and women we ought to be.<br />
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The Lord asked the question of His disciples, “What manner of men ought ye to be?” He then answered His own question by saying, “Even as I am.” (3 Ne. 27:27.) <span style="background-color: yellow;">To become as He is, we must have Him on our mind—constantly in our thoughts</span>. Every time we partake of the sacrament, we commit to “always remember him.” (Moro. 4:3, Moro. 5:2; D&C 20:77, 79.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">If thoughts make us what we are, and we are to be like Christ, then we must think Christlike thoughts.</span> Let me repeat that: If thoughts make us what we are, and we are to be like Christ, we must think Christlike thoughts.<br />
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Paul, en route to Damascus to persecute the Saints, saw a light from heaven and heard the voice of the Lord. Then Paul asked a simple eight-word question—and the persistent asking of the same question changed his life. “Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?” (Acts 9:6.) The persistent asking of that same question can also change your life. There is no greater question that you can ask in this world. “Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?” I challenge you to make that the uppermost question of your life.<br />
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In his book Youth and the Church, Elder Harold B. Lee included a chapter entitled “Lord, What Wilt Thou Have Me Do?” He began the chapter by relating this experience:<br />
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“Some time ago I heard a leader in a high Church position explain his method of endeavoring to arrive at just and equitable decisions in his council meetings. He explained that as problems would be presented, he would frequently ask himself, ‘<span style="background-color: yellow;">As measured by the record of the Master’s teaching, just what would He do in this given situation, or just how would He answer this question or solve this problem?’</span>” (Harold B. Lee, Youth and the Church, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Company, 1945, p. 49.) While he doesn’t mention who the man was, that man in due time would become the President of the Church, President David O. McKay.<br />
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My friend Tom Anderson told the following story:<br />
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“There was a little crippled boy who ran a small newsstand in a crowded railroad station. He must have been about twelve years old. Every day he would sell papers, candy, gum, and magazines to the thousands of commuters passing through the terminal.<br />
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“One night two men were rushing through the crowded station to catch a train. One was fifteen or twenty yards in front of the other. It was Christmas eve. Their train was scheduled to depart in a matter of minutes.<br />
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“The first man turned a corner and in his haste to get home to a Christmas cocktail party plowed right into the little crippled boy. He knocked him off his stool, and candy, newspapers, and gum were scattered everywhere. Without so much as stopping, he cursed the little fellow for being there and rushed on to catch the train that would take him to celebrate Christmas in the way he had chosen for himself.<br />
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“It was only a matter of seconds before the second commuter arrived on the scene. He stopped, knelt, and gently picked up the boy. After making sure the child was unhurt, the man gathered up the scattered newspapers, sweets, and magazines. Then he took his wallet and gave the boy a five dollar bill. ‘Son,’ he said, ‘I think this will take care of what was lost or soiled. Merry Christmas!’<br />
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“Without waiting for a reply the commuter now picked up his briefcase and started to hurry away. As he did, the little crippled boy cupped his hands together and called out, ‘Mister, Mister!’<br />
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“The man stopped as the boy asked, ‘Are you Jesus Christ?’<br />
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“By the look on his face, it was obvious the commuter was embarrassed by the question. But he smiled and said, ‘No, son. I am not Jesus Christ, but I am trying hard to do what He would do if He were here.’” (American Opinion, December 1971, pp. 13–14.)<br />
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And that, my friend, is what it means to be a Christian, even on Christmas eve.<br />
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What Would Jesus Do?<br />
Some years ago Charles Sheldon wrote a book entitled In His Steps. It is perhaps one of the greatest best-sellers in American history. It tells the story of a small group of people within a Christian congregation who took a pledge. The pledge was that for an entire year they earnestly and honestly would not do anything without first asking the question, “What would Jesus do?” After asking themselves that question, they were to follow Jesus exactly as they knew how, no matter what the results. The book tells what happened and how their lives were revolutionized.<br />
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Just before he died, Charles Sheldon wrote a small sequel to his book entitled In His Steps Today. It tells of Mr. and Mrs. Ralph Ward and their four children. Their two oldest children, George and Alice, attended college while their two youngest, John and Mary, were in high school. Mr. Ward was an official in a railroad office, and Mrs. Ward was prominent in the social, church, and literary life of the city.<br />
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One morning as the family was eating breakfast, Mr. Ward told of coming across a book in the library which he and Mrs. Ward had read some twenty-five years earlier, just before their marriage. It was entitled In His Steps, or What Would Jesus Do?<br />
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He wondered if the plan was practical, if it really worked. He knew of a large number of people who had taken the pledge to try to act as Jesus who had some interesting experiences. He knew the children were eager to try experiments in the chemical laboratory and in other fields and wondered if they would be willing to conduct an experiment in the world of conduct.<br />
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He asked them if just for that day, for example, they would be willing to do nothing without first asking, “What would Jesus do?” and then try to do the same.<br />
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There was embarrassing silence around the table. They were a Christian family, but the subject was unusual. Finally the silence was broken by John, “the irrepressible,” as the others called him: “If we take that pledge, what’s the matter with you and Mother taking it, too? You were talking to us yesterday about the bad example the old people set to the young generation. How about you and Mother, Dad?”<br />
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The father agreed. Mrs. Ward said she would join in the pledge with the understanding that each one would give it an honest and sincere trial.<br />
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Perhaps the members of their family did not know it, but this event was to make history for all of them. The pledge was to run until ten o’clock that night. Then they were to meet at that time to share their experiences of the day, holding back nothing.<br />
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I wish I had time to tell you all of their experiences. Let me quote the parents, tell what happened to the younger ones, and consider the final question raised by Mr. Ward.<br />
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First, let’s hear from Mr. Ward:<br />
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“‘My first experience came to me as I went into my office this morning, and … saw Crawford of the auditing department. He was very much put out yesterday when he accused me of backing into his car out in front of the office, and bending a fender. I told him he had parked his car at such an angle that I couldn’t get out without hitting it. We both became angry. This morning I went in, asked his pardon, and offered to buy him a new fender. It did us both good. …<br />
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“‘This afternoon out at the golf course, while I was putting my things back into my locker, two of the members of the club came in and took flasks out of their lockers, drank, and offered some to the rest of us. This has been going on for a long time against the rules of the club and the laws of the state, but no one has ever enforced them. It seemed to me that if Jesus saw a crime being committed, he would consider it his duty as a good citizen to prevent it. I went to the chairman of the House Committee and reported the breaking of the rules, which has raised a storm.<br />
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“‘Several of the members came to me this evening down at the literary club, and threatened to blackball me at the next election for directors if I did not withdraw my charges against the drinkers. More will come from this. But what would Jesus do? It has been an interesting day.’”<br />
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Now let’s hear from Mrs. Ward:<br />
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“‘I really did not know what following Jesus might mean, but my story has to do with the action of our woman’s Board of Directors in renting a part of our building to certain parties who are allowing dancing of a questionable character to go on, together with card games that are practically nothing but gambling.<br />
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“‘I have known of this for some time as all the women do, but did not want to be unpopular by objecting. At the directors’ meeting today, however, I expressed my opinion and objection. The club is in debt, and the amusement concessions bring in big rent. I am the only member of the board to file a protest. It will mean—’ Mrs. Ward paused, and there was a moment of silence.”<br />
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Finally, let’s hear from the younger ones, John and Mary, with Mary leading out:<br />
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“‘We went to an entertainment this evening. A lot of the girls at the high school had been to see it, and they told John and me that it was grand. But I’d rather John told what happened.’<br />
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“John seemed to be unusually reluctant to relate their experiences. Finally he spoke in a subdued tone that was unlike his usual loud and assertive manner.<br />
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“‘Well, after it began,’ he said, ‘I thought it was one of those foolish things that was just for—well, just entertainment. Then I remembered what you said one day, Mother, about not wanting Mary and me to go to any entertainment that we wouldn’t invite you or father to see. Well, it got pretty vulgar, and—’<br />
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“Another silence around the table. Mrs. Ward looked at the boy with a new expression, as if some very rare experience were being related—as indeed it was.<br />
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“The boy went on slowly: ‘Just then Mary nudged me and whispered, “Let’s get up and go out!” Honest, I thought it would be a [strange] thing to do, but then when I asked “What would Jesus do?” it seemed all right. So we got up, treading on a lot of feet in the row where we had been sitting.’<br />
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“‘On our way out,’ broke in Mary, ‘I said to John, “Let’s do one more thing. Let’s tell the manager why we are going out.” John said, “All right, and let’s tell him to give us our money back because we did not pay for that kind of entertainment.” You never will see a more surprised man than Mr. Rondus when we told him how we felt!’<br />
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“‘Surprised isn’t the word,’ interrupted John. ‘He was flabbergasted! When I told him we thought he ought to refund our money, he didn’t say a word, but forked the money right over. Do you think we did what Jesus would do?’<br />
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“Mrs. Ward had a tear in her eye. She reached over and stroked the boy’s head. ‘A thing like that never happened in this town before. Well, we certainly have had some new experiences.’<br />
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“‘Worthwhile, don’t you think? But can we keep it up?’ questioned Mr. Ward.<br />
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“The question provoked a discussion around the Ward table that lasted into the next morning.<br />
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“What do you think?” (Charles M. Sheldon, In His Steps Today, Litchfield: Sunshine Press, 1948, pp. 22–24, 29–31.)<br />
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Walking in His Way<br />
I began my remarks this morning by discussing how we are accountable for our thoughts and how we are what we think about. I have concluded by affirming that <span style="background-color: yellow;">our thoughts should be on the Lord</span>. We should think on Christ.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">I testify to you that there is no greater, more thrilling, and more soul-enobling challenge than to try to learn of Christ and walk in His steps.</span> Our model, Jesus Christ, walked this earth as “the Exemplar.” He is our Advocate with the Father. He worked out the great atoning sacrifice so we could have a fullness of joy and be exalted in accordance with His grace and our repentance and righteousness. He did all things perfectly and commands that we be perfect even as He and His Father are perfect. (See 3 Ne. 12:48.)<br />
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“What would Jesus do?” or “What would He have me do?” are the paramount personal questions of this life. Walking in His way is the greatest achievement of life. That man or woman is most truly successful whose life most closely parallels that of the Master.<br />
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I know the Lord lives. I know that He loves us. I know that apart from Him no one can succeed, but as a partner with Him no one can fail.<br />
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I know that God can make a lot more out of our lives than we can.<br />
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May we all have the moral courage from this moment forward to more fully strive each day to think on Christ, learn of Him, walk in His steps, and do what He would have us do.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-20500486358206957522012-06-15T06:58:00.000-07:002012-06-15T06:58:24.632-07:00Making the Marriage Decision<br />
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<a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/2010/04/making-the-marriage-decision?lang=eng">Making the Marriage Decision</a></h1>
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How faith helped these young adults overcome fear and make the choice to marry.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">For many young adults, making the marriage decision is straightforward and simple. For others, it’s not so easy. As children of what has been called the “divorce revolution,”</span><span style="background-color: yellow;"> today’s young adults have seen the consequences of failed marriages</span><span style="background-color: white;">. Current social trends toward delaying and even avoiding marriage further complicate the matter. Some young adults become overly concerned with finding the right person, waiting for the perfect timing, or feeling fully prepared to commit for eternity. In fact, a recent study of Latter-day Saints in the United States showed that one-third of young adults ages 21 to 25 have some concerns or reservations about their readiness for marriage.</span><sup class="noteMarker" style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2010/04/making-the-marriage-decision?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote1-09204_000_012" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">1</a></sup></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Despite these challenges, Church leaders have affirmed the command to marry and have assured young adults that eternal marriage is not only possible but also desirable</span><span style="background-color: white;">. While serving as a member of the Seventy, Elder Earl C. Tingey said at a Church Educational System (CES) fireside for young adults, “For some, [marriage and family] would appear impossible to obtain. But please have faith, and join that faith with works. The Lord is aware of you as individuals and of your particular circumstances. He will bless you. He will assist you in bringing to pass that which is right and which you righteously desire. Please have faith.”</span><sup class="noteMarker" style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px; line-height: 1;"> <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2010/04/making-the-marriage-decision?lang=eng&clang=eng#footnote2-09204_000_012" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; font-size: 9px; text-decoration: none !important;">2</a></sup></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Here, young adults tell of the fears and setbacks they faced in making the marriage decision—and the faith they found to carry them through.</span></div>
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Trusting the Lord to Be My Guide</h2>
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For me, getting a confirmation about my marriage was like filling a glass. Because I knew that dating and marriage were things to pray about, I pictured myself getting a “full glass” of an answer the first time I prayed. But I became confused when I went on a few dates with Karen and couldn’t figure out where to go from there. I liked her personality, but I didn’t know about her testimony or anything else. I was afraid of the relationship ending with broken hearts or anger. However, I realized I would know what to do only by spending time with her. I figured that in the end it would be a learning experience for both of us—whatever that end would be.</div>
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We eventually decided to date exclusively, but neither of us knew exactly what we wanted from the relationship and we broke up a few times because we weren’t on the same page. She had strong desires to serve a mission, and I strongly wanted to be sure of whom I should date and marry. Plus, we were both afraid of making a mistake in choosing when and whom to marry.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">As I sought priesthood blessings and counsel from priesthood leaders and continued to pray, the glass continued to fill. I learned more about Karen and me—what we could work through together, what our personal weaknesses and strengths were and how they affected us, what our fears were and how we would deal with them, and how to communicate with each other.</span><span style="background-color: yellow;"> We both saw from experience that we worked well together and complemented each other</span><span style="background-color: white;">. We learned of each other’s faith, testimony, opinions, and quirks. As I prayed and as my glass filled, I felt added courage to keep dating her to see what would happen. I didn’t know “for sure,” but my faith that things would work between us increased.</span></div>
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Over time, I realized that I truly loved Karen and wanted to spend eternity with her. When she met my family and I saw how she fit in, my glass was full. It took me a year to get to that point, but when I did, the doubt dispersed and I could see clearly. I knew I should marry her and I knew that I knew.</div>
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I’ve wondered what would have happened had I not had the faith to let the Lord guide me through my relationship with Karen. I’m glad I had the courage to move forward, even in uncertainty. Because we learned so much in our dating and during our engagement, our adjustment to marriage has been smooth, and we are extremely happy.</div>
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Tyler Heasley, California, USA</div>
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Choosing to Take My Own Path</h2>
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For many of my teenage years and into my first years of college, my parents struggled significantly in their marriage. Their relationship deteriorated so much that when I left on my mission, I wasn’t sure they would still be married when I returned.</div>
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My parents did stay married and worked through their struggles, and I came home to find them closer to each other than I had ever seen them before. However, my grandparents, who had been married for more than 50 years, got divorced while I was on my mission. That devastated me, not only because they’d been together for so long, but also because they had “done it right”—they had been sealed in the temple and remained active in the Church.</div>
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My exposure to these situations left me wondering if it was all worth it and if I could expect to have a happy, successful marriage. Even when I began dating the young man I would eventually marry—someone I had known for years and whose family I adored—I still felt unsettled.</div>
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Over time I felt good about our growing relationship. The man I was dating was kind, thoughtful, and considerate, not just with me, but also with others. He was faithful in his Church callings, and, since we were both returned missionaries, we would often attend the temple together, all of which helped me to feel peace and gain confidence that he was a worthy choice. Still, when he started talking about getting married, I wasn’t sure.</div>
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I wish I could say that when I knelt down and prayed about it, peace and clarity came right away. They didn’t. It took weeks and even months. It was frustrating for my boyfriend, who did not have the same fears that I did. He already felt peace about our relationship and wanted to move forward. I am grateful that he waited patiently for my witness to come.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">When it did come, it wasn’t huge or overwhelming, but I’ll never forget it. It was sweet and personal and very peaceful. It didn’t mean that my other doubts or concerns vanished, because they didn’t. In fact, </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">I think the closer we got to marriage and realized what a big decision we were making, the more worries popped up!</span><span style="background-color: white;"> But those feelings of peace fed my faith, and I was able to move forward. Marriage is hard at times, but because of the confirmation I worked and waited for, I never doubt the decision I made to marry my husband.</span></div>
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Name Withheld</div>
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Reaping the Rewards of Faith</h2>
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I was almost done with my undergraduate education before I really believed marriage was for me. Before then, I didn’t have a testimony of the doctrine of marriage and I felt no real need to date or seek a marriage partner. There were even a few times when I tried to commit to a life of solitude, but lessons from the scriptures and encouragement from my family were enough to nudge me into the dating scene.</div>
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Eventually a testimony—vibrant and undeniable—came, and I was faced with a straightforward decision: I could accept eternal marriage along with all of the other gospel principles I knew to be true, or I could reject eternal marriage and knowingly rebel against Heavenly Father’s plan. In my mind I could clearly see the consequences of choosing to stay single and of choosing to marry. This understanding—a gift from the Holy Ghost—made it easy to choose the better path, to look for dates rather than for escapes, and to be obedient to the testimony I had received.</div>
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My decision to marry would have meant little if I had not actively worked toward securing the blessing. Knowing that the girl of my dreams would most likely not show up on my doorstep, I committed myself to doing what would result in a proper, happy temple marriage. I prayed, fasted, attended the temple, and exercised faith that I would find the young woman I wanted to marry. I made practical adjustments as well: I knew the best way to meet people was to socialize, so I made time for both formal dates and social activities. When I started dating Keisy, I had to start planning for two people in my schedule and not just one. I had to find things for us to do so we could get to know each other better.</div>
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Even after I had gained a testimony of eternal marriage, my desire to be married was still small. But as Keisy and I dated and the strength of our relationship increased, my desire for temple marriage increased too. It continued to grow after the proposal, the engagement pictures, the family parties, and each subsequent act that prepared us for our new life together. By the time we were seated in the temple waiting for the sealer to arrive, my desire to be sealed had grown from a seed of faith into “a tree springing up unto everlasting life” (<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/32.41?lang=eng#40" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">Alma 32:41</a>).</div>
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My testimony of marriage has increased since our temple sealing; I have learned more fully the doctrine of marriage and family by doing His will (see <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/john/7.17?lang=eng#16" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">John 7:17</a>).</div>
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Jordan Pendergrass, Arizona, USA</div>
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Looking Ahead—Not Back</h2>
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When I met the man who would become my husband, we had both recently returned from missions. He immediately impressed me; he was active in the Church, treated me like gold, and had a kind spirit. Friendship turned into love, and in what seemed like no time at all, we were talking about getting married. It was a whirlwind of excitement.</div>
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But then one day he told me about his past. With regret he explained to me that he had never graduated from high school. He also told me he hadn’t always been active in the Church.</div>
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I looked at the man I loved and couldn’t picture the person he was describing. I tried not to let this new information bother me, but it kept nagging me in the back of my mind. Would he always be a hard worker? Would he be able to provide for our family? What if he became less active in the Church again? I felt that these concerns were valid, but I didn’t have answers to any of them.</div>
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Although I could not see what the future would hold if I were to marry this man, I could trust Heavenly Father to guide me in my decision. Over the course of several months, I prayed fervently and attended the temple regularly in seeking direction. The turning point came slowly as I realized that my boyfriend had many traits that were vital for me in a husband. He had a strong testimony of the gospel. He held a current temple recommend. He treated me with tremendous respect. And he loved me very much.</div>
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There could be no way of knowing how things he had experienced (or things I had experienced, for that matter) would affect our future together, but I needed to look at where he was now and where he was going, not just at where he had been. Furthermore, I could trust Heavenly Father to help us as we followed Him. The answer I received may not be the one that everyone receives, but I know that as we go to Him in faith, Heavenly Father will guide each of us.</div>
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My husband and I have been married four years now. He has a great job, and we have meaningful opportunities to serve in our ward. We have discovered that when you have someone who is on your side and who loves you despite your weaknesses, you want to become better. Neither of us is perfect, but in doing what is right and staying close to the Lord, we have found great happiness.</div>
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Name Withheld</div>
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Choosing Love</h2>
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<span style="background-color: white;">During the two years I dated my husband, Jon, I prayed often about marrying him, but</span><span style="background-color: yellow;"> I never got an awe-inspiring answer that so many others seemed to talk abou</span><span style="background-color: white;">t. I had heard so many of those stories that I was afraid marrying Jon wasn’t right unless I had a miraculous confirmation experience too.</span></div>
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I was also weighing a decision about serving a mission. I proceeded with the process of putting in my papers and met with my bishop. He asked about my relationship with Jon. The bishop suggested that if I was OK with Jon marrying another girl, then I should move forward with serving a mission. If I was not OK with his being with someone else, then maybe I should reconsider.</div>
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I spent a lot of time thinking about that counsel. I knew I loved Jon, but I didn’t want to give up other good opportunities. As I was praying over the matter one day, I received the distinct impression through a feeling: “It’s your choice.” As unromantic as it may sound, that answer was exactly what I needed. Of course it had always been my choice, but this prompting reminded me that I didn’t need to wait for earth-shattering, divine intervention to tell me to marry Jon; I knew we were compatible, I knew I loved him, and I knew marrying him would be a good thing. All that was left was for me to make the choice.</div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">“If it’s my choice,” I thought, “then I choose him.</span><span style="background-color: white;">” It was hard to give up the opportunity of a mission, but from that moment on, I was committed, and we started planning for marriage.</span></div>
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I still had occasional doubts and fears, but because I had made the choice to marry Jon, I also had made the choice to help things work out. (Imagine that—having to work at a relationship!) Choosing to work at our relationship has made all the difference because as I have done so, I have felt closer to and more in love with my husband.</div>
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Marriage isn’t always easy—most worthwhile things have difficult moments. But when I come to those moments, I remember what I felt when I received that simple but powerful answer to my prayer: we choose our companions and then go to work to make those relationships meaningful throughout our lives.</div>
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Marie Cottle, Utah, USA</div>
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Relying on Faith, Not Fear</h2>
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My relationship with Nathan had progressed—rather quickly—as far as any of my previous dating relationships had, but the others had ended with painful breakups. Because that had been my only experience with dating, I assumed my relationship with Nathan would end the same way. Besides, he had just accepted a job more than 2,000 miles away. I was a first-year law student and wasn’t sure that transferring was feasible—let alone desirable.</div>
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One night I realized how much fear was holding me back. I remembered something I had heard a few months before in Sunday School. The teacher had reminded us that the Savior can heal all hurts—even the ones that happen in dating. I decided that Nathan had come into my life for a reason and I needed to let that reason play out, whatever the outcome turned out to be. If I did end up getting hurt, I could have faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ to get me through it.</div>
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Just a few days later, Nathan proposed—and I accepted. But almost as soon as we started making plans for our life together, fear set in again. What if I didn’t complete my degree? What would it be like living so far away from family and friends? Marrying Nathan would bring many major changes to my life plans and add a lot of unknowns to the future.</div>
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Again, I received a feeling of assurance. After attending the temple, I was reading my scriptures and contemplating my decision to marry Nathan when I came across this sentence in <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/8.16?lang=eng#15" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">Moroni 8:16</a>: “Perfect love casteth out all fear.”</div>
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It struck me that the love of two righteous people moving toward the Savior could cast out the fear of all the world’s unknowns. This experience gave me the peace I needed to move forward with the decision to marry Nathan and the courage to make changes to my educational and career path. I know that the love Nathan and I have is not perfect, but through Jesus Christ, it can be made so.</div>
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Julianne Taylor Zollinger, Virginia, USA</div>
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Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence</h2>
<img alt="Elder Jeffrey R. Holland" src="http://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/images/gospel-library/magazine/HollandJR_04.jpg" style="border-bottom-width: 0px !important; border-color: initial !important; border-image: initial !important; border-left-width: 0px !important; border-right-width: 0px !important; border-style: initial !important; border-top-width: 0px !important;" /><br />
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“I am not saying you shouldn’t be very careful about something as significant and serious as marriage. … Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. You can find an apartment. You can win over your mother-in-law. You can sell your harmonica and therein fund one more meal. It’s been done before. Don’t give in. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness.</span> He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. ‘Cast not away therefore your confidence.’ Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.”</div>
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<div class="" style="color: black !important; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif !important; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 20px;" uri="/ensign/2010/04/making-the-marriage-decision.p56">
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence,” Brigham Young University devotional address, March 2, 1999.</div>
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For me, getting a confirmation about my marriage was like filling a glass.</div>
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When my witness did come, it wasn’t huge or overwhelming, but I’ll never forget it. It was sweet and personal and very peaceful.</div>
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My desire to be sealed had grown from a seed of faith into “a tree springing up unto everlasting life.”</div>
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I needed to look at where he was now and where he was going, not just at where he had been. I could trust Heavenly Father to help us as we followed Him.</div>
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“If it’s my choice,” I thought, “then I choose him.”</div>
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I was contemplating my decision to marry Nathan when I came across this sentence in Moroni 8:16: “Perfect love casteth out all fear.”</div>
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<div id="references" style="background-color: white; font-size: 11px; margin-top: 1.3em !important;">
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Notes</h3>
<li class="footnote " id="-09204_000_012" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-09204_000_012"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote1-09204_000_012">1.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
Jason S. Carroll, Project READY, Brigham Young University, 2009. For national statistics, see Jason S. Carroll, et al., “Ready or Not? Criteria for Marriage Readiness among Emerging Adults,” <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Journal of Adolescent Research,</span> 24, 2009, 366–67.</div>
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<li class="footnote " id="-09204_000_012" style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="-09204_000_012"> </a> <span class="label"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2041792191347633985" name="footnote2-09204_000_012">2.</a> </span><div style="display: inline; font-size: 9pt !important; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
Earl C. Tingey, “The Simple Truths from Heaven—the Lord’s Pattern,” CES Fireside for Young Adults, Jan. 13, 2008.</div>
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</div>Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-30056898660336757662012-06-14T07:08:00.000-07:002012-06-14T07:08:06.157-07:00Pride: A Challenge from Within<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/1996/07/pride-a-challenge-from-within?lang=eng">Pride: A Challenge from Within</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">BY ELDER STEPHEN D. NADAULD</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Of the Seventy</span></div>
The age-old problem described so well by prophets in the Book of Mormon and reiterated by modern prophets can beset any of us if we let it.<br />
We live in a glorious era of the earth’s history when the fulness of the gospel has been restored. It is an exciting time to be a Church member: to see nearly 50,000 missionaries teaching the gospel to many of the nations of the earth, to have meetinghouses springing up like mushrooms, to have sacred temples rising majestically, to have the use of computers to search for ancestors, to hear prophets and Apostles by satellite transmission. Indeed, these are extraordinary times by any measure.<br />
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And yet there is a wise saying in French: Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose, which means, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Despite the progress, prosperity, and success of today’s Church, there seem to be challenges to Church members that are common to men and women of all ages. We are blessed to have written records of the experiences of members of Christ’s Church in previous eras, such as the Book of Mormon, a sacred record that provides wonderful insights about common challenges.<br />
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One of many such examples is found in the teachings of Jacob, the brother of Nephi and son of Lehi. The Nephites had separated from the Lamanites, they had been diligently taught principles of the gospel by Lehi and Nephi, the Church was established, and a temple had been built. Yet Jacob, who had been in the temple to obtain his “errand from the Lord” (Jacob 1:17), made this very interesting statement to the people: “Behold, hearken ye unto me, and know that by the help of the all-powerful Creator of heaven and earth I can tell you concerning your thoughts, how that ye are beginning to labor in sin, which sin appeareth very abominable unto me, yea, and abominable unto God” (Jacob 2:5; emphasis added). Jacob had been shown by God the minds and hearts of his people and therefore could prepare specific counsel for them.<br />
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He first spoke to the people in plainness about pride and then about immorality (see Jacob 2:12–22, 23–33). He clearly pointed out to the people that these sins were not challenges from outside the Church but from within, initiated in their <span style="background-color: yellow;">thoughts—their minds and hearts</span>—as they dealt with the daily challenges of living gospel principles.<br />
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Jacob’s experience can be applied to our time. Today we live in a world full of external influences. As members of the Church, we are appropriately admonished to be “in the world but not of the world.” In other words, <span style="background-color: yellow;">we seek to establish an environment and a mind-set which allows us to withstand the enemy without</span>. And it is certainly wise to do so, for there is ample evidence that the evils of the world can bring sorrow and tragedy whenever we do not protect ourselves against their influence.<br />
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However, Jacob’s full message should be clear to every Latter-day Saint. <span style="background-color: yellow;">There are challenges from within that are every bit as difficult as those from without. </span>We must not assume that once we are within the fold we will find our safety assured; rather, we need to be aware of the potentially serious pitfalls strewn in the way of converted, practicing Latter-day Saints. President Ezra Taft Benson’s admonition to study the Book of Mormon was designed to help us avoid some of the problems experienced by former-day Saints. As the Book of Mormon unfolds a thousand years of history, we receive extraordinary doctrinal teachings and practical wisdom from the experience of members of the Church.<br />
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Mormon, who compiled the record, had an especially interesting insight into the history of his people. In the space of 395 of our modern-day pages, he chronicled nearly 600 years of history. He also had his own personal experience to draw upon. <span style="background-color: yellow;">When he paused in chapter 12 of Helaman to express his frustration with a repeating pattern he had observed that suggests how slow his people were to learn, we as members of the Church today should pay special attention.</span> He begins by commenting in verse one about the “<span style="background-color: yellow;">unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men.</span>” In verse two, he summarizes the 600 years as follows:<br />
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“<span style="background-color: yellow;">Yea, and we may see at the very time when he [the Lord] doth prosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of precious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord their God, and do trample under their feet the Holy One—yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity</span>.”<br />
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After Mormon rehearses that pattern of iniquity, he provides in verse six a classic one-verse analysis of the problem: “<span style="background-color: yellow;">Behold, they do not desire that the Lord their God, who hath created them, should rule and reign over them; notwithstanding his great goodness and his mercy towards them, they do set at naught his counsels, and they will not that he should be their guide.</span>” Mormon is amazed that a people can continue in such self-destructive behavior instead of simply acknowledging the goodness of the Lord and letting themselves be led by His counsel.<br />
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Mormon continues his lament with a vivid analogy: “The children of men … are less than the dust of the earth.<br />
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“For behold, the dust of the earth moveth hither and thither, to the dividing asunder, at the command of our great and everlasting God.<br />
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“Yea, behold at his voice do the hills and the mountains tremble and quake.<br />
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“And by the power of his voice they are broken up, and become smooth, yea, even like unto a valley.<br />
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“Yea, by the power of his voice doth the whole earth shake;<br />
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“Yea, by the power of his voice, do the foundations rock, even to the very center.<br />
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“Yea, and if he say unto the earth—Move—it is moved” (Hel. 12:7–13).<br />
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With occasional exceptions, the Church has endured the early period when its members were severely and directly tested from without. The early persecutions, the subsequent flight to the Rocky Mountains, and the challenges from the national government are behind us. There are stakes of Zion in many countries and lands. But is it possible that in not a few of these stakes, conditions are developing that have been described again and again in the Book of Mormon?<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">The age-old problem described so well by prophets in the Book of Mormon and reiterated by modern prophets seems to be one of pride</span>. Pride in its many forms is the great challenge from within. Mormon expressed it so well when he said, “Behold, they do not desire that the Lord their God, who hath created them, should rule and reign over them” (Hel. 12:6). <span style="background-color: yellow;">Once rooted in a person’s heart, pride sets the stage for spiritual downfall: unrighteous thoughts that spring up from within can lead to an unwillingness to be submissive or to follow counsel</span>. For some, personal prosperity reinforces the notion that they are doing fine on their own. Others begin to feel that rules can be tailored a little to meet their personal desires. Sound teachings become old-fashioned, and leaders start to seem out of touch, unfeeling, or too old. <span style="background-color: yellow;">None of these thoughts happen overnight but come gradually as humility and meekness are eroded by possessions, status, and prosperity.</span> Pride causes a hardened heart and spiritual deafness, both of which can ultimately lead to a host of more serious sins. In the worst case, a person may go beyond self-destructive behavior and become an enemy to God, desiring to fight openly against His teachings.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">A most disquieting aspect of the repeated cycles described in the Book of Mormon is the time frame, for an entire people can “become weak, because of their transgression, in the space of not many years” (Hel. 4:26; emphasis added). Whether it be individuals or a whole society, it is possible that decay from within can wreak havoc in a relatively short time.</span><br />
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As people individually or collectively experience conditions that may lead unwittingly to their own downfall, what can be done? I would like to recommend three steps that can help.<span style="background-color: yellow;"> First, Jacob acknowledged that the people had begun to have inappropriate thoughts: thoughts of gain, of advantage, of status, of power, of lust. How useful it would be from time to time to take an inventory of our thoughts and the feelings of our hearts. </span>Such an examination might involve asking questions like, What do I spend time thinking about? Do I ever feel uneasy about my thoughts? How do my thoughts compare with concepts taught in the scriptures and by spiritual leaders? Have I read the Sermon on the Mount lately, and do I understand its applications? Am I nervous, anxious, and upset, or calm and confident?<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Second, a behavior check may be helpful. Certain behaviors can be early warning signals</span>; for example, spending patterns, “harmless” flirting, missing church meetings and assignments, and wearing temple garments inappropriately. The rationalizations are all familiar: “So and so does it.” “A little won’t matter.” “Nobody will know or care.” When we carefully and prayerfully examine our behaviors, the Spirit may prompt needed adjustments.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Third, it is useful to return to the basics and review the fundamental concepts of the plan of redemption</span>. Alma observed, “Therefore God gave unto them commandments, after having made known unto them the plan of redemption” (Alma 12:32; emphasis added). We infer from this that an understanding of the plan of redemption is an important prerequisite to an appreciation of commandments. Our motivation for the difficult act of repentance comes after and as a result of understanding the role that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ plays in the plan. Hearts are changed, thoughts are controlled, and behavior is modified when the plan is well understood.<br />
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Alma had firsthand experience with this principle. As both the chief judge and presiding high priest over his people, he observed that many of the difficulties they faced came from within: “For they saw and beheld with great sorrow that the people of the church began to be lifted up in the pride of their eyes, and to set their hearts upon riches and upon the vain things of the world” (Alma 4:8). And so he appointed another to fill the office of chief judge and retained the office of high priest. “And this he did that he himself might go forth among his people, … that he might preach the word of God unto them … and that he might pull down, by the word of God, all the pride and craftiness and all the contentions which were among his people” (Alma 4:19). Alma recognized that there was enormous power in teaching the plan—the doctrine, the word of God. This is equally true today.<br />
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How blessed we are to have the Book of Mormon and to learn from it enduring truths that can be so helpful for today. Life is complicated, and among its many challenges, some of the greatest come from within. But we are not destined to repeat the past if we can learn from it. May we echo the words of the ancient prophet Nephi: “I know in whom I have trusted.<br />
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“My God hath been my support. …<br />
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“O Lord, I have trusted in thee and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh” (2 Ne. 4:19–20, 34).<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">To learn this great lesson from the Book of Mormon that pride and reliance on the arm of flesh can be replaced with trust in the Lord is to be blessed for eternity by an extraordinary book containing the word of God.</span>Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-78581043878245128782012-05-23T06:56:00.002-07:002012-05-23T06:56:37.482-07:00Pride and the Priesthood<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/pride-and-the-priesthood?lang=eng">Pride and the Priesthood</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">DIETER F. UCHTDORF</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Second Counselor in the First Presidency</span></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2zanJexA5SE" width="560"></iframe>
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Pride is a <span style="background-color: #ffd966;">switch that turns off priesthood power</span>. <span style="background-color: #ffe599;">Humility is a switch that turns it on</span>.<br />
My dear brothers, thank you for assembling all around the world for this priesthood session of general conference. Your presence shows your commitment to stand, wherever you are, with your brothers who bear the holy priesthood and serve and honor your Lord and Redeemer, Jesus Christ.<br />
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Often we mark the span of our lives by events that leave imprints on our minds and hearts. There are many such events in my life, one of which happened in 1989 when I heard a timeless sermon by <span style="background-color: yellow;">President Ezra Taft Benson, “Beware of Pride.”</span> In the introduction it was noted that this topic had been weighing heavily on President Benson’s soul for some time. 1<br />
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I have felt a similar burden during the past months. The promptings of the Holy Spirit have urged me to add my voice as another witness to President Benson’s message delivered 21 years ago.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Every mortal has at least a casual if not intimate relationship with the sin of pride</span>. No one has avoided it; few overcome it. When I told my wife that this would be the topic of my talk, she smiled and said, “It is so good that you talk about things you know so much about.”<br />
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Other Meanings of Pride<br />
I also remember one interesting side effect of President Benson’s influential talk. For a while it almost became taboo among Church members to say that they were “proud” of their children or their country or that they took “pride” in their work. The very word pride seemed to become an outcast in our vocabulary.<br />
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In the scriptures we find plenty of examples of good and righteous people who rejoice in righteousness and at the same time glory in the goodness of God. Our Heavenly Father Himself introduced His Beloved Son with the words “in whom I am well pleased.” 2<br />
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Alma gloried in the thought that he might “be an instrument in the hands of God.” 3 The Apostle Paul gloried in the faithfulness of members of the Church. 4 The great missionary Ammon gloried in the success he and his brothers had experienced as missionaries. 5<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">I believe there is a difference between being proud of certain things and being prideful</span>. I am proud of many things. I am proud of my wife. I am proud of our children and grandchildren.<br />
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I am proud of the youth of the Church, and I rejoice in their goodness. I am proud of you, my dear and faithful brethren. I am proud to stand shoulder to shoulder with you as a bearer of the holy priesthood of God.<br />
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Pride Is the Sin of Self-Elevation<br />
So what is the difference between this kind of feeling and the pride that President Benson called “the universal sin”? 6 Pride is sinful, as President Benson so memorably taught, because<span style="background-color: yellow;"> it breeds hatred or hostility and places us in opposition to God and our fellowmen.</span> At its core, <span style="background-color: yellow;">pride is a sin of comparison</span>, for though it usually begins with “Look how wonderful I am and what great things I have done,” it always seems to end with “Therefore, I am better than you.”<br />
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When our hearts are filled with pride, we commit a grave sin, for we violate the two great commandments. 7 Instead of worshipping God and loving our neighbor, <span style="background-color: yellow;">we reveal the real object of our worship and love—the image we see in the mirror.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Pride is the great sin of self-elevation</span>. It is for so many a personal Rameumptom, a holy stand that justifies envy, greed, and vanity. 8 In a sense, pride is the original sin, for before the foundations of this earth, pride felled Lucifer, a son of the morning “who was in authority in the presence of God.” 9 If pride can corrupt one as capable and promising as this, should we not examine our own souls as well?<br />
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Pride Has Many Faces<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Pride is a deadly cancer</span>. It is <span style="background-color: yellow;">a gateway sin</span> that leads to a host of other human weaknesses. In fact, it could be said that <span style="background-color: yellow;">every other sin is, in essence, a manifestation of pride</span>.<br />
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This sin has many faces. It leads some to revel in their own perceived self-worth, accomplishments, talents, wealth, or position. They count these blessings as evidence of being “chosen,” “superior,” or “more righteous” than others. This is the sin of “<span style="background-color: yellow;">Thank God I am more special than you.</span>” At its core is the desire to be admired or envied. It is the <span style="background-color: yellow;">sin of self-glorification</span>.<br />
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For others, <span style="background-color: yellow;">pride turns to envy: they look bitterly at those who have better positions, more talents, or greater possessions than they do.</span> They seek to hurt, diminish, and tear down others in a misguided and unworthy attempt at self-elevation. When those they envy stumble or suffer, <span style="background-color: yellow;">they secretly cheer</span>.<br />
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The Laboratory of Sports<br />
Perhaps there is no better laboratory to observe the sin of pride than the world of sports. I have always loved participating in and attending sporting events. But I confess there are times when the lack of civility in sports is embarrassing. How is it that normally kind and compassionate human beings can be so intolerant and filled with hatred toward an opposing team and its fans?<br />
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I have watched sports fans vilify and demonize their rivals. They look for any flaw and magnify it. They justify their hatred with broad generalizations and apply them to everyone associated with the other team. When ill fortune afflicts their rival, they rejoice.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Brethren, unfortunately we see today too often the same kind of attitude and behavior spill over into the public discourse of politics, ethnicity, and religion.</span><br />
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My dear brethren of the priesthood, my beloved fellow disciples of the<span style="background-color: yellow;"> gentle Christ</span>, should we not hold ourselves to a higher standard? As priesthood bearers, we must realize that all of God’s children wear the same jersey. Our team is the brotherhood of man. This mortal life is our playing field. Our goal is to learn to love God and to extend that same love toward our fellowman. We are here to live according to His law and establish the kingdom of God. We are here to build, uplift, treat fairly, and encourage all of Heavenly Father’s children.<br />
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We Must Not Inhale<br />
When I was called as a General Authority, I was blessed to be tutored by many of the senior Brethren in the Church. One day I had the opportunity to drive President James E. Faust to a stake conference. During the hours we spent in the car, President Faust took the time to teach me some important principles about my assignment. He explained also how gracious the members of the Church are, especially to General Authorities. He said, “They will treat you very kindly. They will say nice things about you.” He laughed a little and then said, “<span style="background-color: yellow;">Dieter, be thankful for this. But don’t you ever inhale it.</span>”<br />
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That is a good lesson for us all, brethren, in any calling or life situation. <span style="background-color: yellow;">We can be grateful for our health, wealth, possessions, or positions, but when we begin to inhale it—when we become obsessed with our status; when we focus on our own importance, power, or reputation; when we dwell upon our public image and believe our own press clippings—that’s when the trouble begins; that’s when pride begins to corrupt.</span><br />
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There are plenty of warnings about pride in the scriptures: “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” 10<br />
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The Apostle Peter warned that “<span style="background-color: yellow;">God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.</span>” 11 Mormon explained, “None is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart.” 12 And by design, the Lord chooses “the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty.” 13 The Lord does this to show that His hand is in His work, lest we “trust in the arm of flesh.” 14<br />
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We are servants of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are not given the priesthood so that we can take our bows and bask in praise. We are here to roll up our sleeves and go to work. We are enlisted in no ordinary task. We are called to prepare the world for the coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We seek not our own honor but give praise and glory to God. We know that the contribution we can make by ourselves is small; nevertheless, as we exercise the power of the priesthood in righteousness, God can cause a great and marvelous work to come forth through our efforts. We must learn, as Moses did, that “man is nothing” 15 by himself but that “with God all things are possible.” 16<br />
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Jesus Christ Is the Perfect Example of Humility<br />
In this, as in all things, Jesus Christ is our perfect example. Whereas Lucifer tried to change the Father’s plan of salvation and obtain honor for himself, the Savior said, “Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.” 17 Despite His magnificent abilities and accomplishments, the Savior was always meek and humble.<br />
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Brethren, we hold “the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God.” 18 It is the power God has granted to men on earth to act for Him. In order to exercise His power, we must strive to be like the Savior. This means that in all things we seek to do the will of the Father, just as the Savior did. 19 It means that we give all glory to the Father, just as the Savior did. 20 <span style="background-color: yellow;">It means that we lose ourselves in the service of others, just as the Savior did.</span><br />
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Pride is a switch that turns off priesthood power. 21 Humility is a switch that turns it on.<br />
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Be Humble and Full of Love<br />
So how do we conquer this sin of pride that is so prevalent and so damaging? How do we become more humble?<br />
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It is almost impossible to be lifted up in pride when our hearts are filled with charity. “No one can assist in this work except he shall be humble and full of love.” 22 When we see the world around us through the lens of the pure love of Christ, we begin to understand humility.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Some suppose that humility is about beating ourselves up. Humility does not mean convincing ourselves that we are worthless, meaningless, or of little value. Nor does it mean denying or withholding the talents God has given us.</span> We don’t discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving God and our fellowman.<br />
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Humility directs our attention and love toward others and to Heavenly Father’s purposes. Pride does the opposite. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Pride draws its energy and strength from the deep wells of selfishness</span>. The moment we stop obsessing with ourselves and lose ourselves in service, our pride diminishes and begins to die.<br />
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My dear brethren, there are so many people in need whom we could be thinking about instead of ourselves. And please don’t ever forget your own family, your own wife. There are so many ways we could be serving. We have no time to become absorbed in ourselves.<br />
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I once owned a pen that I loved to use during my career as an airline captain. By simply turning the shaft, I could choose one of four colors. The pen did not complain when I wanted to use red ink instead of blue. It did not say to me, “I would rather not write after 10:00 p.m., in heavy fog, or at high altitudes.” The pen did not say, “Use me only for important documents, not for the daily mundane tasks.” With greatest reliability it performed every task I needed, no matter how important or insignificant. It was <span style="background-color: yellow;">always ready to serve</span>.<br />
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In a similar way we are tools in the hands of God. When our heart is in the right place, we do not complain that our assigned task is unworthy of our abilities. <span style="background-color: yellow;">We gladly serve wherever we are asked</span>. When we do this, the Lord can use us in ways beyond our understanding to accomplish His work.<br />
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Let me conclude with words from President Ezra Taft Benson’s inspired message of 21 years ago:<br />
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“<span style="background-color: yellow;">Pride is the great stumbling block to Zion.</span><br />
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“We must cleanse the inner vessel by conquering pride. … 23<br />
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“We must yield ‘to the enticings of the Holy Spirit,’ put off the prideful ‘natural man,’ become ‘a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord,’ and become ‘as a child, submissive, meek, humble.’ … 24<br />
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“God will have a humble people. … ‘Blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble.’ … 25<br />
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“Let us choose to be humble. We can do it. I know we can.” 26<br />
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My beloved brethren, let us follow the example of our Savior and reach out to serve rather than seeking the praise and honor of men. It is my prayer that we will recognize and root out unrighteous pride in our hearts and that we will replace it with “righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, [and] meekness.” 27 In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.<br />
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References<br />
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1. See Ezra Taft Benson, “Beware of Pride,” Ensign, May 1989, 4.<br />
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2. 3 Nephi 11:7.<br />
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3. Alma 29:9.<br />
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4. See 2 Thessalonians 1:4.<br />
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5. See Alma 26.<br />
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6. Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign, May 1989, 6.<br />
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7. See Matthew 22:36–40.<br />
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8. See Alma 31:21.<br />
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9. Doctrine and Covenants 76:25.<br />
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10. Proverbs 13:10.<br />
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11. 1 Peter 5:5.<br />
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12. Moroni 7:44.<br />
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13. 1 Corinthians 1:27.<br />
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14. Doctrine and Covenants 1:19.<br />
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15. Moses 1:10.<br />
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16. Matthew 19:26.<br />
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17. See Moses 4:1–2.<br />
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18. Doctrine and Covenants 107:3.<br />
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19. See John 8:28–29.<br />
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20. See John 17:4.<br />
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21. See Doctrine and Covenants 121:34–37.<br />
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22. Doctrine and Covenants 12:8.<br />
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23. See Alma 6:2–4; Matthew 23:25–26.<br />
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24. Mosiah 3:19; see also Alma 13:28.<br />
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25. Alma 32:16.<br />
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26. Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign, May 1989, 6–7.<br />
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27. 1 Timothy 6:11.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-45647858151609013142012-05-16T06:42:00.000-07:002012-05-16T06:42:45.301-07:00The Tragic Dimensions of Saul<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/1990/06/the-tragic-dimensions-of-saul?lang=eng">The Tragic Dimensions of Saul</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">BY RICHARD G. ELLSWORTH</span></div>
The Tragic Dimensions of Saul<br />
Among Old Testament narratives, the life of King Saul stands out in its tragedy. Saul’s life consists of a series of situations and decisions that, because of his character, cause his own death, the deaths of his loved ones, and the destruction of all his hopes.<br />
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Traditionally, tragedy presents an account of a man in high position, often placed there beyond or even against his own will, who, because of some fault in his character, or some folly, or even some unintentional mistake, meets personal catastrophe and falls. The story tells of his choices, his recognition of his dire situation, and his final struggle against the inevitable.<br />
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Tragic heroes may be both good and bad. <span style="background-color: yellow;">They are often foolish, shortsighted, and ambitious, yet brave and courageous.</span> They are sometimes wicked. They are people torn apart by their struggling within traps they themselves may have made.<br />
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The tragedy of Saul, seen in this classical perspective, is further enhanced by the Hebrew concept that loss of rapport with God is the worst of mortality’s hazards. Nothing is worse than having God depart from one’s life; no punishment is as bad as isolation from the Divine Presence. In Greek tragedy, to fight against one’s fate, even the dictum of the gods, is the highest of tragic effort—a noble enterprise. But for the Hebrews, to fight against their God was never admirable, never noble. It was rebellion, arrogance, and unthinkable pride. It was the very height of foolishness. Tragic Saul meets both classical and Hebrew perspectives. What makes his story truly tragic, however, is the fact that Saul is not a fictional character; he actually lived and suffered the consequences of his tragic failures.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Saul’s tragic flaw was pride</span>, often manifested as a<span style="background-color: yellow;"> fear of criticism </span>and a<span style="background-color: yellow;"> love of popular approval</span>. This flaw resulted in a tendency to make significant errors in judgment that consistently resulted in complication and misfortune. But Saul also had great strength and courage. Faced with God’s condemnation, Saul did not duck or hide but turned toward his future with violent and almost foolhardy bravery, yet without repentance, and determined to fight the Lord’s condemnation.<span style="background-color: yellow;"> In his attempt to force God to reverse the divine decision against him, Saul changed from one who was humble and pure, chosen of the Lord to receive great promised blessings, to one who stood angry, alone, and impenitent.</span><br />
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Saul was elevated to high position almost against his will. Chosen by God, he was literally brought in off the street by Samuel the Prophet and notified of his calling. He was reluctant, and Samuel, as a sign of validity, told him not only what would happen to him on the way home, but also that he would be chosen by lot at the meeting of the tribes at Gilgal and publicly anointed king. When the lot fell upon him at Gilgal as Samuel had foretold, Saul was hiding, and the Lord had to reveal his whereabouts. This was a foreshadow of the pattern to come.<br />
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The high position Saul was brought to was difficult, to say the least. As the newly anointed king of Israel, he was actually a substitute. Jehovah was the true king of Israel. Samuel made this ominously clear to the people in his discourse to them on kingship before Saul was ever chosen. Saul, too, was clearly told of his tenuous position. He was to be the civil representative of the true king, Jehovah, whom the people had rejected. When Saul overreached his place as vassal to the real king, God rejected him. It is in Saul’s determined struggle against this fateful pronouncement that his character achieves tragic dimension and consequence.<br />
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Saul had many good qualities. At the beginning of this real-life drama,<span style="background-color: yellow;"> he showed a simple faith. </span>Searching for his father’s lost asses, he was willing to ask Samuel, the seer, for revelation to find them. Later, after accepting his kingship, <span style="background-color: yellow;">he proved wise in managing the people who opposed him</span>. <span style="background-color: yellow;">He was a strong leader and a courageous warrior</span>. Victorious in battle at Jabesh-gilead,<span style="background-color: yellow;"> he was quick to give God the honor</span>. In these early years, <span style="background-color: yellow;">he was humble and exemplary, leading the people to know God’s superior will and power, willing to ask the prophet Samuel for counsel. And the Lord approved of Saul and gave him the spirit of prophecy and a new heart.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">But, as time passed and Saul’s reign solidified, character traits appeared in Saul that resulted in catastrophe</span>. <span style="background-color: yellow;">He was impetuous, often rash in his judgments, almost thoughtless in his conclusions. Passionate, he was swift to anger, quick to violence. He stubbornly held strong allegiances that, at times, led to mistaken judgments, while at the same time forsaking other allegiances that would have helped him. He slowly became insensitive, even calloused, in his relationships with other people. To achieve his ends, he was willing to manipulate others, even his own loved ones. He feared criticism. He developed a great need for popular approval. This last weakness was the major consequence of his stubborn pride, which was his tragic flaw.</span><br />
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Saul’s insecurity showed early in the drama. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Too often, under pressure, he chose to do what he thought would give him popular approval, regardless of an opposing commandment of God</span>. For example, faced with an immense Philistine invasion—thirty thousand chariots, six thousand horsemen, and innumerable foot soldiers—Saul made such a decision. With only six hundred men, he had great need for divine help. Samuel had told him that he would come to make the required offerings before the battle. But as the Philistine horror built, Saul saw his people leaving. He took it upon himself to offer the required sacrifices as a means to hold people to him. When Samuel arrived, he condemned Saul. Saul said defensively that the people were scattering from him and that he “forced” himself to make the offerings, but Samuel answered, “Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the Lord.” (1 Sam. 13:13.)<br />
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In the battle that followed, Saul’s need for popular approval showed again. In a moment of zeal, Saul proclaimed a day of fasting. “Cursed be the man,” he cried, “that eateth any food until evening, that I may be avenged on mine enemies.” (1 Sam. 14:24.) Saul’s motive was good. He meant to secure the help of the Lord in winning a victory. But impetuously, he ruled that anyone who broke the fast should die. And that very morning, his son Jonathan, unaware of his father’s proclamation of the fast, had begun the battle with a heroic exploit against the Philistines. In the course of the battle that developed, Jonathan scooped some honey from a honeycomb and ate it. The soldiers who were with him told him of his father’s oath, and Jonathan replied that the fast was foolish—that soldiers should not go into battle on empty stomachs. Immediately, the soldiers took this as justification for breaking the fast, killing the animals they captured, even eating the meat with the blood, contrary to the law of Moses. When King Saul heard this, he quickly called for all to come to a central place so the meat could be rightly slaughtered and cooked, and the proper offerings made.<br />
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After the victory feasting was over, Saul again sought guidance from the Lord, but God did not answer. Saul blamed his separation from the Lord on the broken fast instead of on his own disobedience. He cried out that the man who caused this should die. The blame fell upon Jonathan, and when Jonathan reported what he had done, Saul said stubbornly, “Thou shalt surely die.” (1 Sam. 14:44.) But the people called out for Jonathan, saying that he had caused a great victory that day and that he shouldn’t die. Saul then changed his mind, granting his son amnesty. Not only was his proclamation of the fast not wise, but the threat of death to the violator of his edict was excessive and totally undeserved; it was meant to prove Saul’s devotion, and as such was dishonest and hypocritical.<br />
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Saul’s final rupture with the prophet Samuel and with the Lord was caused by this same weakness. The Lord commanded Saul to destroy the Amalekites—every man, woman, and child; every ox, sheep, and camel; everything that belonged to the Amalekites. So Saul chased the enemy from Havilah to Shur, but he allowed his people to bring home the best sheep and oxen. Saul himself captured the Amalekite king, Agag, and proudly brought him back alive.<br />
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Confronted by Samuel, <span style="background-color: yellow;">Saul made many excuses</span>. He tried first to say that he had fulfilled the commandments of God, but Samuel rejected that—“What meaneth then this bleating of the sheep in mine ears, and the lowing of the oxen which I hear?” Then Saul tried to blame it on the people, saying that the people had spared the best sheep and oxen “to sacrifice unto the Lord.” (1 Sam. 15:14–15.)<br />
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This is a high, climactic moment in the drama—the old prophet, loving Saul as a father loves an erring son, yet determined to deliver his fateful message from God, and Saul, desolate, convicted, lamely trying to justify himself but unable to do so. In words that surely would have been heavy with emotion, Samuel said, “I will tell thee what the Lord hath said to me this night.” And Saul, fearful, but determined to press on, replied, “Say on.” (1 Sam. 15:16.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Samuel reminded Saul that the Lord had taken him when he was nothing and made him king over Israel, but now, when the Lord commanded him, he did not obey</span>. Saul argued, “Yea, I have obeyed the voice of the Lord,” again blaming the people and ignoring the fact that he, the king, was responsible for the people bringing back the animals. Samuel answered him, “Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifice, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice.” (1 Sam. 15:17–22.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Saul broke. He admitted his transgression,</span> murmuring that he did it “because I feared the people, and I obeyed their voice.” Then he begged Samuel to forgive him, to turn again toward him, to be with him as of old that he might again be acceptable to the Lord. But Samuel would not: “Thou has rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.” As Samuel turned to leave, Saul clutched at his mantle. It tore. Samuel prophesied, “The Lord hath rent the kingdom of Israel from thee this day, and hath given it to a neighbour of thine, that is better than thou.” (1 Sam. 15:24–28.)<br />
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This was the tragic moment of truth for Saul. Plaintively, Saul begged Samuel to stay to make offerings “before the elders of my people, and before Israel.” Samuel acquiesced in this, but, before doing so, he himself killed Agag, as the Lord had commanded Saul to do. And when the sacrifices were over, Samuel left, never to see Saul again in this life.<br />
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In fiction, tragic heroes struggle valiantly against their reversed fortune. In Saul’s case, truth shadows fiction, for he spent the rest of his life struggling against just such a reversal. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Saul was no quitter. He was no coward. But he was proud and would not repent. </span>Realizing that his blessings and kingdom had indeed been given to another, he looked about to see who this might be.<br />
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Before long, he decided that it was his foster son David, youthful hero of the combat with Goliath. After David’s victory, Saul had taken David into his own household. In time, David had grown to be a successful army commander, one whom Saul trusted. The realization that David was the one chosen of the Lord came as a shock to Saul. As Saul and his soldiers returned from victory, the people came out to meet them. Dancing and singing, the women proclaimed that Saul had slain his thousands, but that David had slain his tens of thousands. With mounting anger, Saul realized that David had the popularity he had so much wanted but had never fully received. From that moment on, Saul sought to take David’s life.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">In his struggle against God, Saul’s efforts reached great intensity. His heart was torn; he saw not only his people leave him, but even members of his own family turn against him. </span>Saul had hoped to use his daughter Michal as a temptation to get David killed by the Philistines. But David survived and married Michal. Later, she lied to her father and helped David escape when Saul commanded his soldiers to kill David while he slept.<br />
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Saul’s son Jonathan, his favorite and apparent heir to the kingdom, also loved David, admitting freely that he knew David would rule in his place. He beseeched David not to destroy his children when that time came. Old King Saul, heartsick and angry, struggling to maintain the kingdom and give it to Jonathan, spoke to his son: “As long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die.” (1 Sam. 20:31.) But Jonathan defended David, and Saul, angered beyond control, cast his spear at his own son.<br />
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Jonathan helped David flee into the wilderness. There David’s followers gathered about him, hiding in the hills and mountain fortresses by the Dead Sea. David had already sought out Samuel the prophet for counsel and advice. He also went to the priests at Nob for help, and Saul, hearing of this, had the priests and their families put to death.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Saul had lost all control</span>. As he struggled against the decision of God, personified in David, he became more and more aware that his efforts were futile. But this dawning recognition was at war with his stubborn will. There was no fault in David—David respected Saul as the anointed of the Lord. Twice he spared Saul’s life—first in the dark cave at En-Gedi, and second in Saul’s camp in the wilderness of Ziff. Realizing this, Saul wept and cried aloud, admitting his evil to David and calling out plaintively to him that he, too, knew that David would surely be king over Israel.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">The final days of Saul’s tragic life are heightened by his growing paranoia and his terrible need for help outside himself.</span> Formerly, he had been able to appeal to God, to the prophet Samuel, and to the priests. Now, however, “when Saul enquired of the Lord, the Lord answered him not, neither by dreams, nor by Urim, nor by prophets.” (1 Sam. 28:6.) He was completely alone. Samuel was dead, and Saul himself had murdered the priests. Saul’s own family no longer respected him. The people whom he had sought to serve refused to support him.<br />
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“All of you have conspired against me,” Saul cried at Gibeah. “There is none of you that is sorry for me.” (1 Sam. 22:8.) Yet Saul did not repent; neither did he change.<br />
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At the last, faced by a vast horde of Philistines gathered at Mount Gilboa to do battle against him, <span style="background-color: yellow;">Saul was filled with fear. Crazed and abandoned, he turned at last to those he had formerly condemned. In disguise, he went to the witch of En-dor, a spiritualist, and asked her to call up Samuel from the dead.</span><br />
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This is the great culminating event in Saul’s descent to evil. Saul had completed his personal tragedy. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Originally clean and pure, chosen by the Lord himself and given a new heart, Saul had been personally directed by the prophet of God. But now he sought revelation through a witch. He had become a liar, an equivocator, a cheat, a thief, and a murderer.</span> Now, confused in mind and darkened in spirit, he sought help from satanic sources. It was a powerful moment. A deceiving spirit, appearing as Samuel, rebuked Saul and pronounced the final curse: “The Lord will also deliver Israel with thee into the hand of the Philistines … To morrow shalt thou and thy sons be with me.” (1 Sam. 28:19; see also 1 Sam. 28:15.)<br />
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It was the end. But Saul did not weep or don sackcloth in ashes. Beyond repentance, he turned deliberately toward the impending battle, perhaps in the dreaded hope that he might yet disprove this last prophecy. But in the great battle that followed, as he looked around and saw his three sons lying dead beside him, Saul himself, already wounded by archers, fell upon his sword and died.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Tragically, the ironic spiral of Saul’s life ended where it began</span>. It was at Gilgal that young Saul was ordained king; it was also at Gilgal that he was condemned by the Lord. And it was by Mount Gilboa where, in the power of the Lord, Saul had won his first great battle against the Ammonites, rescuing Jabesh-gilead, unifying Israel, and establishing his reign. It was again by Mount Gilboa that he fought his last battle—but this time under God’s condemnation. The battle, kingdom, and Saul’s life were lost.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Saul’s tale is full of tragic cyclic ironies, from his initial unwillingness to accept the honor of being king to the final irony of his dying by his own hand in order to maintain that honor. </span>It is ironic that he should take into his own house David, his already anointed successor, and that David should marry Saul’s daughter and become a prince in Saul’s own household. It is ironic that Saul’s great son Jonathan, obviously Saul’s choice as heir, preferred David, his rival, even over himself, and willingly and even thankfully saved David’s life while Saul sought to destroy him.<br />
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It is ironic that Saul, seeking to destroy David, only heightened David’s popularity and strengthened David’s position. Saul, having been given the great calling (“for now would the Lord have established thy kingdom upon Israel forever”) and the freedom to function within it, allowed himself through pride and fear, jealousy and anger, to lose control and compel his own destruction (“but now thy kingdom shall not continue”). Saul, in seeking to force the original blessings, found himself at last at war against the very forces that could have granted them. Ironically, his actions forced Samuel, who loved him, to condemn him and tell him that the Lord had deposed him.<br />
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The life of Saul, king of Israel, as we have it in the Bible, contains many of the elements of tragedy, making it one of the most moving and instructive accounts in all the scriptures.<br />
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Richard G. Ellsworth, professor emeritus of English at Brigham Young University, serves as high priests group leader in the Oak Hills First Ward, Oak Hills Utah Stake.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-71095954225842909682012-05-16T06:26:00.000-07:002012-05-16T06:26:38.343-07:00Oneness in Marriage<div id="details" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: white; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif !important; font-size: 8pt !important; line-height: 11pt !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; padding-bottom: 30px; padding-left: 45px; padding-right: 30px; padding-top: 35px; position: relative; zoom: 1;">
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<a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/1977/03/oneness-in-marriage">Oneness in Marriage</a></h1>
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By President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985)</div>
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Adapted from a devotional address given at Brigham Young University on 7 September 1976. The full text is published in a Deseret Book Company book, Marriage and Divorce.</div>
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Honorable, happy, and successful marriage is surely the principal goal of every normal person. Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but also with eternal joys. It affects not only the two people involved, but also their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts</span><span style="background-color: white;">. Emotions must not wholly determine decisions, but the mind and the heart, strengthened by fasting and prayer and serious consideration, will give one a maximum chance of marital happiness. It brings with it sacrifice, sharing, and a demand for great selflessness.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Many of the TV screen shows and stories of fiction end with marriage: “They lived happily ever after.” </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">We have come to realize that the mere performance of a ceremony does not bring happiness and a successful marriage. Happiness does not come by pressing a button, as does the electric light; happiness is a state of mind and comes from within. It must be earned. It cannot be purchased with money; it cannot be taken for nothing.</span></div>
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Some think of happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but true marriage is based on a happiness which is more than that, one which comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Two people coming from different backgrounds learn soon after the ceremony is performed that </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">stark reality must be faced</span><span style="background-color: white;">. There is no longer a life of fantasy or of make-believe; we must come out of the clouds and put our feet firmly on the earth. </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">Responsibility must be assumed and new duties must be accepted. Some personal freedoms must be relinquished, and many adjustments, unselfish adjustments, must be made.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">One comes to realize very soon after marriage that the spouse has weaknesses not previously revealed or discovered. The virtues which were constantly magnified during courtship now grow relatively smaller, and the weaknesses which seemed so small and insignificant during courtship now grow to sizable proportions. The hour has come for understanding hearts, for self-appraisal, and for good common sense, reasoning, and planning. The habits of years now show themselves; the spouse may be stingy or prodigal, lazy or industrious, devout or irreligious; he may be kind and cooperative or petulant and cross, demanding or giving, egotistical or self-effacing. The in-law problem comes closer into focus, and the relationship of the spouse to them is again magnified.</span></div>
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Worldly Pressures</h2>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Often there is an unwillingness to settle down and to assume the heavy responsibilities that immediately are there. Economy is reluctant to replace lavish living, and the young people seem often too eager “to keep up with the Joneses.” </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">There is often an unwillingness to make the financial adjustments necessary</span><span style="background-color: white;">. Young wives are often demanding that all the luxuries formerly enjoyed in the prosperous homes of their successful fathers be continued in their own homes. Some of them are quite willing to help earn that lavish living by continuing employment after marriage. They consequently leave the home, where their duty lies, to pursue professional or business pursuits, thus establishing an economy that becomes stabilized so that it becomes very difficult to yield toward the normal family life. Through both spouses’ working, competition rather than cooperation enters the family. Two weary workers return home with taut nerves, individual pride, increased independence, and then misunderstandings arise. Little frictions pyramid into monumental ones.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> This is within the reach of every couple, every person. “Soul mates” are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">There is a never-failing formula which will guarantee to every couple a happy and eternal marriage; </span><span style="background-color: white;">but like all formulas, the principal ingredients must not be left out, reduced, or limited. The selection before courting and then the continued courting after the marriage process are equally important, but not more important than the marriage itself, the success of which depends upon the two individuals—not upon one, but upon two.</span></div>
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In a marriage commenced and based upon reasonable standards as already mentioned, there are not combinations of power which can destroy it except the power within either or both of the spouses themselves; and they must assume the responsibility generally. Other people and agencies may influence for good or bad. Financial, social, political, and other situations may seem to have a bearing; but the marriage depends first and always on the two spouses who can always make their marriage successful and happy if they are determined, unselfish, and righteous.</div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">The formula is simple</span><span style="background-color: white;">; the ingredients are few, though there are many amplifications of each.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">First, there must be the proper approach toward marriage, which contemplates the selection of a spouse who reaches as nearly as possible the pinnacle of perfection in all the matters which are of importance to the individuals. And then those two parties must come to the altar in the temple realizing that they must work hard toward this successful joint living</span><span style="background-color: white;">.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Second, there must be a great unselfishness, forgetting self and directing all of the family life and all pertaining thereunto to the good of the family, subjugating self.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Third, there must be continued courting and expressions of affection, kindness, and consideration to keep love alive and growing.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Fourth, there must be a complete living of the commandments of the Lord as defined in the gospel of Jesus Christ.</span></div>
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With these ingredients properly mixed and continually kept functioning, it is quite impossible for unhappiness to come, misunderstandings to continue, or breaks to occur. Divorce attorneys would need to transfer to other fields and divorce courts would be padlocked.</div>
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Sharing and Sacrificing</h2>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage is not a legal coverall, but</span><span style="background-color: yellow;"> it means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties</span><span style="background-color: white;">. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Before marriage, each individual is quite free to go and come as he pleases, to organize and plan his life as it seems best, to make all decisions with self as the central point. Sweethearts should realize before they take the vows that each must accept literally and fully that the good of the little new family must always be superior to the good of either spouse. </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">Each party must eliminate the “I” and the “my” and substitute therefore “we” and “our.” Every decision must take into consideration that there are two or more affected by it</span><span style="background-color: white;">. As she approaches major decisions now, the wife will be concerned as to the effect they will have upon the parents, the children, the home, and their spiritual lives. The husband’s choice of occupation, his social life, his friends, his every interest must now be considered in the light that he is only a part of a family, that the totalness of the group must be considered.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">A marriage may not always be even and incidentless, but it can be one of great peace. </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">A couple may have poverty, illness, disappointment, failures, and even death in the family, but even these will not rob them of their peace.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> The marriage can be a successful one so long as selfishness does not enter in. Troubles and problems will draw parents together into unbreakable unions if there is total unselfishness there. During the depression of the 1930s there was a definite drop in divorce. Poverty, failures, disappointment—they tied parents together. Adversity can cement relationships which prosperity can destroy.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">The marriage that is based upon selfishness is almost certain to fail</span><span style="background-color: white;">. The one who marries for wealth or the one who marries for prestige or social plane is certain to be disappointed. The one who marries to satisfy vanity and pride or who marries to spite or to show up another person is fooling only himself. But the one who marries to give happiness as well as receive it, to give service as well as to receive it, and who looks after the interests of the two and then the family as it comes will have a good chance that the marriage will be a happy one.</span></div>
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The Need for Nourishment</h2>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Love is like a flower, and, like the body, it needs constant feeding. </span><span style="background-color: white;">The mortal body would soon be emaciated and die if there were not frequent feedings. The tender flower would wither and die without food and water. And so love, also, cannot be expected to last forever unless it is continually fed with portions of love, the manifestation of esteem and admiration, the expressions of gratitude, and the consideration of unselfishness.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Total unselfishness is sure to accomplish another factor in successful marriage.</span><span style="background-color: yellow;"> If one is forever seeking the interests, comforts, and happiness of the other, the love found in courtship and cemented in marriage will grow into mighty proportions.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> Many couples permit their marriages to become stale and their love to </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">grow cold like old bread or worn-out jokes or cold gravy</span><span style="background-color: white;">. Certainly the foods most vital for love are consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, concern, expressions of affection, embraces of appreciation, admiration, pride, companionship, confidence, faith, partnership, equality, and interdependence.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">To be really happy in marriage, one must have a continued faithful observance of the commandments of the Lord</span><span style="background-color: white;">. No one, single or married, was ever sublimely happy unless he was righteous. There are temporary satisfactions and camouflaged situations for the moment, but permanent, total happiness can come only through cleanliness and worthiness. One who has a pattern of religious life with deep religious convictions can never be happy in an inactive life. The conscience will continue to afflict, unless it has been seared, in which case the marriage is already in jeopardy. A stinging conscience can make life most unbearable. Inactivity is destructive to marriage, especially where the parties are inactive in varying degrees.</span></div>
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Religious differences are the most trying and among the most unsolvable of all differences.</div>
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Marriage is ordained of God. It is not merely a social custom. Without proper and successful marriage, one will never be exalted. Read the words of your Lord, that it is right and proper to be married.</div>
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That being true, the thoughtful and intelligent Latter-day Saint will plan his life carefully to be sure there are no impediments placed in the way. By making one serious mistake, one may place in the way obstacles which may never be removed and which may block the way to eternal life and godhood—our ultimate destiny. If two people love the Lord more than their own lives and then love each other more than their own lives, working together in total harmony with the gospel program as their basic structure, they are sure to have this great happiness. When a husband and wife go together frequently to the holy temple, kneel in prayer together in their home with their family, go hand in hand to their religious meetings, keep their lives wholly chaste—mentally and physically—so that their whole thoughts and desires and loves are all centered in the one being, their companion, and both work together for the upbuilding of the kingdom of God, then happiness is at its pinnacle.</div>
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Cleave to “None Else”</h2>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Sometimes in marriage there are other cleavings, in spite of the fact that the Lord said, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/42.22?lang=eng#21" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">D&C 42:22</a>).</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">This means just as completely that “thou shalt love thy husband with all thy heart and shall cleave unto him and none else.” Frequently, </span><span style="background-color: yellow;">people continue to cleave unto their mothers and their fathers and their chums.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> Sometimes mothers will not relinquish the hold they have had upon their children, and husbands as well as wives return to their mothers and fathers to obtain advice and counsel and to confide, whereas cleaving should be to the wife in most things, and all intimacies should be kept in great secrecy and privacy from others.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Couples do well to immediately find their own home, separate and apart from that of the in-laws on either side.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> The home may be very modest and unpretentious, but still it is an independent domicile. Your married life should become independent of her folks and his folks. You love them more than ever; you cherish their counsel; you appreciate their association; but you live your own lives, being governed by your decisions, by your own prayerful considerations after you have received the counsel from those who should give it. To cleave does not mean merely to occupy the same home; it means to adhere closely, to stick together:</span></div>
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“Wherefore, it is lawful that … they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation;</div>
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“And that it might be filled with the measure of man, according to his creation before the world was made” (<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/49.16-17?lang=eng#15" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">D&C 49:16–17</a>).</div>
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Brothers and sisters, may I say this is the word of the Lord. It is very, very serious, and there is nobody who should argue with the Lord. He made the earth; He made the people. He knows the conditions. He set the program, and we are not intelligent enough or smart enough to be able to argue Him out of these important things. He knows what is right and true.</div>
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We ask you to think of these things. Be sure that your marriage is right. Be sure that your life is right. Be sure that your part of the marriage is carried forward properly.</div>
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</div>Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-42127760241845041552012-05-10T06:40:00.000-07:002012-05-10T06:40:55.545-07:00Twenty Ways to Make a Good Marriage Great<br />
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<a href="http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=545805481ae6b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1">Twenty Ways to Make a Good Marriage Great</a></h1>
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By <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/1983/12/twenty-ways-to-make-a-good-marriage-great?lang=eng&clang=eng#pop_001-03168_000_026" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; background-position: initial initial !important; background-repeat: initial initial !important; color: black !important; font-weight: normal !important; text-decoration: none !important;">Richard W. Linford</a></div>
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1. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Night and Morning Prayer … </span>to say thanks, to ask for help in your marriage and family, to worship together.</div>
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2. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">A Weekly Planning Meeting … </span>to discuss the calendar, talk over needs and problems, decide priorities and next steps. (Write decisions in a journal, including goals and discussion topics, and reasons for each.)</div>
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3. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">A Daily Phone Call or Personal Conversation … </span>to say “I love you,” to touch base, to discuss the day, to show you care.</div>
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4. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">A Weekly Date … </span>to a favorite park, a concert, the library, the gym; or staying home for a candlelight dinner, a game, or a mutual hobby.</div>
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5. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Patience Regardless … </span>of missed meals, tardiness, forgotten favors, a thoughtless remark, impatience.</div>
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6. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Daily Service … </span>helping with house or yard work, mending a piece of clothing, taking a turn with the sick baby, fixing a favorite meal. (<span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Write it down. Do it!</span>)</div>
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7. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">A Budget … </span>to tie down income and expenses, help set financial goals, and give you control over your finances.</div>
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8. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Listening … </span>not only to what is said, but also to what is meant.</div>
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9. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Regular Attendance … </span>at church—and where possible—the temple.</div>
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10. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Daily Scripture Reading … </span>to learn the gospel, to receive inspiration for yourself and your marriage, to become more like Jesus.</div>
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11. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Working Together … </span>caring for a garden, painting a bedroom, washing the car, scrubbing floors, building a piece of furniture, writing a poem together, team teaching a class.</div>
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12. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Forgiving Each Other … </span>always learning from each other, trying a different way, being the first to make peace.</div>
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13. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Courtesies … </span>like saying please and thank you, not interrupting or belittling, not doing all the talking, continuing the niceties of courtship.</div>
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14. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Soft and Kind Words … </span>of tenderness, compassion, empathy.</div>
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15. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Learning Together by … </span>reading to each other, discussing ideas, taking a class.</div>
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16. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Respecting … </span>opinions, ideas, privacy.</div>
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17. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Supporting Your Spouse’s … </span>Church callings and righteous goals.</div>
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18. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Caring for Your Spouse’s Family by … </span>enjoying their company, praying for them, serving them, overlooking differences.</div>
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19. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Occasional Gifts … </span>such as a note, a needed item—but mostly gifts of <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">time </span>and <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">self.</span></div>
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20. <span class="emphasis" style="font-style: italic;">Loving with All Your Heart. </span>“Thou shalt love thy wife [thy husband] with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her [him] and none else.” (<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/42.22?lang=eng#21" style="background-attachment: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; background-image: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; color: black !important; text-decoration: none !important;">D&C 42:22</a>.)</div>
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Richard W. Linford, father of eight children and an operational auditor, is bishop of the East Millcreek Utah 11th Ward.</div>
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</div>Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2041792191347633985.post-44225878792180896132012-05-10T06:29:00.002-07:002012-05-10T06:29:53.388-07:00Selfishness vs. Selflessness<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/1983/04/selfishness-vs-selflessness?lang=eng">Selfishness vs. Selflessness</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">BY ELDER WILLIAM R. BRADFORD</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Of the First Quorum of the Seventy</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Remarks delivered at a BYU Devotional Assembly, 27 October 1981</span></div>
Selfishness vs. Selflessness<br />
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Throughout my life I have studied the scriptures and have sought spiritual guidance regarding our Eternal Father’s plan. I have developed a mental picture which I would like to share with you.<br />
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If the veil that covers our remembrance were somehow lifted, we would see ourselves in that glorious assembly where our Eternal Father presented to us the plan of salvation and exaltation. It must have been a most interesting time, and there probably were some anxious moments of intense emotion, anticipation, pondering, and discussion. Father was about his work, teaching us how to exercise our agency by unfolding truth to our understanding.<br />
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As these truths unfolded, there must have been many concerns on our part—questions about the creation of the earth; our leaving Father’s presence; our need for physical bodies; the veil; living by faith; symbolic ordinances; death and resurrection; conditions upon which our return to Father were based.<br />
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There must have been anxiety when we learned of the need to leave our Father and come to this earth through a veil of forgetfulness. We must have known that there would be opposition, choices to make, the possibility of mistakes and failure. If we forgot all, how would we know the right thing to do or how to do it?<br />
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It must have been a great comfort as Father made covenants with us to send one member of the Godhead to be a guide and companion—one with delegated power to communicate the truths of the plan to us, that by the power of spiritual communication we could make correct decisions and grow and mature after the nature of our Father, who is a God. We know this great counselor as the Holy Ghost.<br />
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A pattern began to unfold as the Father taught us. It must have been obvious that there would be many things that we could not do for ourselves.<br />
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We would not be able to provide for ourselves the physical bodies we would need to become like Father. And once given bodies, we would not have power during our infancy to sustain ourselves. Some would need to serve us by being our parents. It would not be possible for us to create, nor control after its creation, the world upon which we were to be placed. This world would have a delicate environment—its relationship to the sun, the need for rain and fertile soil to sustain life, the governing laws of gravity and electricity, the elements and their reaction with each other would all have to be assured for us. And<span style="background-color: yellow;"> since we would have no real power over these things, someone would have to control them for us.</span><br />
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We also learned that our physical bodies would be temporary and subject to weakness, disease, and finally death. If we were to return to Father with bodies like his, someone would have to do something for us to reunite our spirit and physical bodies after the pattern in which God our Father created us.<br />
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There were some other serious needs. It was clear to us that because of the influence of opposition we would make mistakes. Since Father taught us that these mistakes constituted sin, and that no sinful thing could return to his presence, we were faced with a dilemma. There would have to be a way to overcome these mistakes. Someone would have to intercede for our sins—a Redeemer. Who would it be?<br />
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A sense of calm and peace must have then come to us as the Father made covenants to give us a Redeemer who would have power to do all things for us that we could not do for ourselves. He would sustain the world in the laws by which it was to be governed. He would take upon himself our sins and die for us that we might live eternally. He would govern the truths taught us, that we might walk in light.<br />
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Opposed to that plan was Satan, who came before the Father and issued the most selfish of all statements ever spoken in the heavens: “Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.” (Moses 4:1.)<br />
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Then the most selfless of all service in the heavens or upon earth was offered as Christ, the “Beloved Son, which was … Beloved and Chosen from the beginning,” came before Father and said, “Thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.” (Moses 4:2.)<br />
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By holy covenant between Father and his children, <span style="background-color: yellow;">Jesus Christ was sent to serve us in all things—to do all things for us that we cannot do for ourselves.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">The laws and covenants were clear to us. They required that we come to this earth to work through the natural processes of growth and maturing that will take us back to Father. We are to work through this process. The work is one of serving and being served. The pattern is clear.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Our eternal destiny is welded to our service to others</span>. At the very foundation of our existence is interdependence upon one another. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Happiness can be obtained only by establishing the proffer balance between serving and being served</span>. We are social beings; we cannot live in happiness if we attempt to live alone. Self-imposed celibacy and isolationism are extreme expressions of selfishness and an unwillingness to serve or be served.<br />
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A mother serves by giving birth to a child and continues her service throughout the child’s life. For life to continue, the process must repeat itself. When one is serving, another is being served. Faith, love of God and fellowman, patriotism, and self-esteem all depend on how we practice serving and being served.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Perhaps this principle is best defined as selflessness—the giving of oneself both in serving others and in being served by others</span>.<br />
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In infancy and childhood we are predominantly served. Our parents provide us with food, clothing, shelter, and they nourish our spirits with love and companionship. But the very act of acceptance is a returning of the gift to the giver. Parents find joy and comfort in the progress of the child—a joy which falters only when their service is rejected through disobedience. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Their selflessness becomes its own reward and encourages them to keep giving of themselves despite the setbacks</span>.<br />
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If the relationship we have built as children with our parents has had the proper balance of selflessness, we will have developed kinship ties that no physical separation can ever break. And when the time comes to seek for ourselves expanded experiences and companionships, we will maintain joy in the beautiful companionship with our parents that has been created.<br />
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Very often, as young adults move away from the home environment, they suffer a tremendous emotional shock. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Suddenly the balance of service and being served is drastically altered.</span> Friendships are new and unproven, and old relationships seem distant. We call this homesickness. It is a period of adjustment and growth, when parent-child relationships undergo a transformation and we become involved in teacher-student or employer-employee relationships. <span style="background-color: yellow;">As these peer relationships are added to our kindred relationships, the need to understand the principles of selflessness becomes increasingly important</span>.<br />
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In order to understand selflessness we must also understand its opposite, selfishness.<span style="background-color: yellow;"> Selfishness is closing the door on service to others, and refusing to allow others to serve us in love. At the same time, we attempt to serve ourselves or wrongly exact service from others.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">In its simplest form, selfishness is the holding to one’s self that which he has power to righteously share</span>. The greed or lust or wrongful intent soon creates men whose “hearts are not satisfied,” and who “obey not the truth, but have pleasure in unrighteousness.” These are they who “will not give [their] substance to the poor. … whose spirits are not contrite, and whose bellies are not satisfied, and whose hands are not stayed from laying hold upon other men’s goods, whose eyes are full of greediness, and who will not labor with [their] own hands!” (D&C 56:15–17.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">That which a man serves himself upon the platter of selfishness and greed may appease his mortal appetite, but it will leave him spiritually starved and malnourished.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">There is no happiness in selfishness; it is a sin. Its product is misery and loneliness, and it alienates companions and develops enmity in human relationships.</span><br />
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Selfishness and greed, put into the heart of Cain by Satan, caused our first parents, Adam and Eve, to mourn before the Lord for him and his brethren. It was Cain’s selfishness that caused him to bind himself up to Satan and, to get gain, murder his brother Abel. Selfishness debased the children of Israel as they drank and played and corrupted themselves around the idol of the golden calf. And only selfishness could have induced Judas to betray the holy, selfless Lord.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Selfishness is the basic substance—the raw material, if you will—of almost all other sins that Satan has introduced upon the earth.</span> Under his skillful management, this sin manifests itself in such a myriad of ways that virtually no one escapes its influence. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Its magnetic tentacles stretch out and draw to itself every indulgence that can block the path to exaltation</span>.<br />
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Greed, envy, covetousness, lust, rebellion, thievery, idleness, lying, hypocrisy, backsliding, immorality, infidelity, pride, arrogance, gluttony, and most other evils are the products of a selfish life. If we place sin in the sunlight, it will cast the shadow of selfishness.<br />
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As a thought precedes an act, so does selfishness precede sin. Immorality of every kind is founded in selfishness. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Why else would a person commit an immoral act, if not to satisfy his own pleasure?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Selfishness breeds corruption as men scheme and bribe and take unfair advantage to satisfy their wants and obsessions. </span>It becomes pride as men forsake things of eternal value, even marriage, family, and God, for supposed high position and fame.<br />
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Consider how many are unfaithful to one another—and to God—as they selfishly squander their lives and means on the evaporative pleasures of what the world holds out as fashionable.<br />
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Satan’s subtle use of selfishness causes parents to justify idling away countless hours before a television set, absorbing violence, sensuality, vulgarity, and the foolishness of the world, while their children (who are usually allowed to view the same things) <span style="background-color: yellow;">are starving for affection and attention</span>. Can such selfishness be condoned, or are they bringing condemnation upon themselves by not using this time to teach their children “the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands … to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord” (D&C 68:25, 28)?<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Selfishness draws men into a spiritual vacuum where, absorbed in self service, they shut out all others</span>.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Selfish idleness, with its “I’ll-do-it-later” attitude, keeps righteous work from being done</span>. Since Satan has decreed to do all possible to stop righteous endeavor upon the earth, what better way than to cause men to procrastinate? Within the Church this is manifest in a failure to faithfully comply with callings. Home teaching goes unattended; tithes and offerings go unpaid. There is neglect in keeping personal histories, compiling family records, and doing temple work. There is an unwillingness to give service in the missionary effort. How it must please Satan to so influence those who could be the builders of God’s kingdom!<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Of all influences that cause men to choose wrong, selfishness is undoubtedly the strongest</span>. Where there is selfishness, the Spirit of the Lord is absent. Talents go unshared, the needs of the poor unfulfilled, the weak unstrengthened, the ignorant untaught, and the lost unrecovered.<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Viewed in its true sense, selfishness is the absence of empathy and compassion</span>. It is the abandonment of brotherhood, the rejection of, God’s plan, the isolation of ones soul. Just as selflessness can carry us to exaltation and eternal lives, so can selfishness lead us to destruction and eternal damnation.<br />
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Life too often seems a competition with others. We compete for companionship, for recognition, for possessions, for status, for money. And as we size one another up, we too often forget that our sanctification depends in part on our service to others.<br />
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We may be like the man who, came running to Jesus, asking, “What must I do to be saved?” Jesus explained to him the commandments he must live, and the man assured him that he had done all these things from his youth. Then the Savior told him he lacked but one thing. “Sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.<br />
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“And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.” (Mark 10:17–22.)<br />
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Or are we like the widow who cast her two mites into the treasury? Jesus, seeing her, said to his disciples, “This poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:<br />
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“For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.” (Mark 12:43–44.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">If we would be truly happy, our acts must be acts of selflessness, turning sadness into joy, radiating kindness, and dispelling hypocrisy. Selflessness fosters love, confidence, and trust.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">Indeed, those men and women who righteously share themselves, their talents, and their means in benevolent service to God and humankind, are blessed with freedom, growth, nearness to Divinity, and worthiness to have the companionship of the Spirit.</span><br />
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By selflessness we demonstrate our true relationship with the Savior. It is the one great virtue that binds together the family of God.Baretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314307913603154623noreply@blogger.com1