Pollution of the Mind

Pollution of the Mind

ELDER ROBERT L. SIMPSON

Assistant to the Council of the Twelve

Oh, that the three billion people in this world could have heard what we just heard from the lips of a wonderful man, Elder LeGrand Richards; and oh, that three billion people could have heard what the priesthood heard last night from the lips of a living prophet, President Harold B. Lee. Through the mind of the Lord, President Lee was able to identify many of the problems confronting mankind today. I would like to discuss for just a moment, if I may, one of the very important problems that seems to be filtering into our homes and into our communities.

Before drawing the breath of life on this earth, we were all spiritual beings living in the realm of God, the Eternal Father. Scripture reveals that even before our spiritual birth, each of us had individual identification as an intelligence. Before all else could take place, there had to be that beginning spark of light, that spark of intelligence or, if you please, the marvelous mechanism that controls our every thought, that controls our every act. We might think of this spark of intelligence as perhaps the nucleus of a human mind.

No wonder it has been said: “As a man thinketh, so is he.” The master control center within each individual must be regarded as the key. Signals flashing out to the various parts of the body bring instant reaction; in sum and substance, this center dictates the character, the conscience, the strength, and yes, even the weaknesses of every man.

From the beginning of time, there has been a never-ending struggle to influence and control the human mind. Too often, the false promises and enticements of conspiring men have been successful. How much more effective to capture the control center than a mere outpost.

The mind of man must first depend upon quality input before it can be counted upon to render good decisions. Like the most sophisticated computer, only with its properly designed control panel in proper place and in working order can the system be depended upon to produce the desired results.

It was Paul who made the observation that the whole must be fitly framed before the properly functioning church can be recognized and identified. It must naturally follow then that the pollution of a single church member’s mind will indeed affect the whole. If pollution touches even a segment of the church, then the entire church is weakened. The church can be no stronger than its members. By the same token, the degradation of a family member weakens the entire family unit. Applied to a nation, when a segment of its citizenry becomes contaminated by frequenting the cesspools of its society, that nation indeed is weakened.

Thousands have said: “Printed filth will never become an obsession with me. I am a mature adult, and I have the right to see what is going on in the world without becoming trapped.” But hardly a day passes that we don’t listen to alcoholics and drug abusers who are now looking back with regret on their beginning days of social drinking and mild drug experimentation just to satisfy a so-called mature curiosity.

Evidence is conclusive that mind-polluting pornography is just as addicting and just as devastating as Satan’s other tools of destruction and degradation. As expressed in the last line of Alexander Pope’s poem: “We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”

The gradual infiltration of this mind-polluting material has quietly engulfed us on a wide front. Today’s so-called acceptable motion picture would have been banned from public viewing just a few short years ago. Many of the recommended reading lists of our public schools would have been classified as unacceptable less than a generation ago. All of us, by the flip of a switch, allow much highly questionable and some downright objectionable filth to occupy the center stage of our family circle. Public attitude against smut has very gradually been lulled into a state of mild resistance—so mild, in fact, that the adversary has already won a major victory whether we are ready to admit it or not.

Now the question follows: Is there really anything that can be done? Why, of course there is, and if every God-fearing citizen would band together on a few fundamental steps, this entire trend could be turned around.

How about taking a few minutes, for example, to voice objection to the local supermarket manager about easy availability and prominent display of unacceptable material on his periodical display rack.

How about taking just five minutes each week to review the TV log and then establishing a few rules that all the family agrees to concerning viewing time and on which channel.

Why not make some effort to find out something about the next movie that will engage your family’s undivided attention for two and a half or three hours and will probably cost you far more than you contributed to the poor and the needy that month. It goes without saying that all X- and R-rated movies are automatically eliminated.

Perhaps we should all become a lot more interested in what the school is recommending and making available to our children. How many school meetings or visits did you make during the past year?

Do the men you vote for feel as you do on these vital matters? Is there some legislation that needs to be encouraged, some petitions that need to be circulated, some telephone calls that need to be made? God gave us a democratic process for a good reason. Do we use this process to help his cause? Not enough! The opposition is certainly misusing it, all in the name of free speech. You and I must keep the record straight on what God intended by freedom of speech and some of the obligations connected with it.

Satan is the master of deceit. He perverts man’s God-given attributes from their noble and divine purpose onto a downward track. All seem to agree that one of man’s most demanding and ever-present drives is centered in his desire for companionship and sexual fulfillment. To have this highly sensitive and divine human mechanism falsely aroused by unnatural processes creates a serious conflict in that vital control center, the mind. Rationalization quickly rallies to the side of the victim of off-color literature, because rationalization helps him to live with his conscience. He tells himself that his drives are God-given and, therefore, not that bad. He also tells himself, “Nearly everybody does it. I am not so different,” and while he may not be so very different, he is just exactly 100 percent wrong in the eyes of God.

Now a mind that has been deceived into receiving trashy input cannot but send false signals to the feet, the hands, and the tongue. Future decisions will all be colored by the impurity allowed to enter that control center of his entire being.

As you invite unclean thoughts to become a part of your total being, be assured some of your faculties will become considerably sharpened. Your temper will be sharpened. Your tongue will be sharpened. Your desire for more trash will be sharpened. Your ability to shade the truth will be sharpened. Yes, just about every negative part of your character will be enhanced.

There will also be a noticeable diminishing effect in your life. Your personality will be diminished. Your family relationships will be impaired. Your ability to pray will be lessened. Your spirit will be affected adversely, and your testimony of the truth will start to slip away, probably so gradually at first that you won’t even realize it is happening until it is too late. The Lord has said: “… Be ye clean that bear the vessels of the Lord.” (D&C 38:42.)

Every prophet from the beginning of this earth has had foreknowledge of our day with its pitfalls and hazards. The scriptures alone give us the formula for avoiding disaster. I like what the Lord says in the 121st section of the Doctrine and Covenants: “… let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.” (Verse 45.) [D&C 121:45]

We have been admonished to read good books and to avoid idleness, and as President David O. McKay used to say so eloquently: “The true measure of a man is how he spends his time when he doesn’t have to do anything.” This, of course, brings us around to self-discipline, which is the major key in the total avoidance of illicit literature.

Are there any books or literature in your possession that would have no place in the personal library of President Harold B. Lee? Someone has said: “Which way to go, the leader will know.” Don’t you think we should follow his example? Do you allow material to enter your mind that would be incompatible with entrance into the celestial kingdom of God?

Church membership contemplates only one thing—to qualify for his holy presence. Why jeopardize that possibility? The oft-quoted wisdom of President Heber J. Grant bears repetition here: “That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself has changed, but the power to do is increased.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson.)

It works in both directions: the power to accept pornography, as our senses become numbed, or the power to reject as we declare with Joshua of old: “… choose you this day whom ye will serve; … as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Josh. 24:15.)

To whom shall we turn for our direction in these vital matters? A prophet of God has spoken within the past few days. Here are the exact words of the First Presidency on this vital subject: “Pornographic filth continues to flood this country as well as other nations of the world.

“There is abundant evidence of the damaging effect of obscenity on the solidarity of the family, on the moral fiber of the individual.

“We, with many leaders outside the Church, are deeply concerned about this growing obscenity in print, on record and tape, on television, and in motion pictures.

“We therefore urge Latter-day Saint parents to teach their children to avoid smut in any of its many insidious forms. ‘Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly.’ (D&C 121:45.)

“The Lord has also said: ‘Set in order your houses; keep slothfulness and uncleanness far from you.’ (D&C 90:18.)

“We also encourage Latter-day Saints as citizens to exert every effort to fight the inroads of pornography in their communities. History is replete with examples of nations which have fallen in a large measure through licentiousness.”

May we accept this timely counsel. Your personal welfare and the eternal future of your entire family unit may depend upon it, and I say it in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

As a Man Thinketh

Chapter Eight (Miracle of Forgiveness)

As a Man Thinketh

Spencer W Kimball

... Filthy dreamers defile the flesh ... --Jude 8
Thoughts are the seeds of acts.

Akin to sins of omission are "thought sins." we learn from one of the proverbs: "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." (Prov. 23:7.)

Thoughts Shape Our Lives
A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. On this theme Henry Van Dyke gave us the following verse:

Thoughts Are Things

I hold it true that thoughts are things;
They're endowed with bodies and breath and wings;
And that we send them forth to fill
The world with good results, or ill.

That which we call our secret thought
Speeds forth to earth's remotest spot,
Leaving its blessings or its woes
Like tracks behind it as it goes.

We build our future, thought by thought,
For good or ill, yet know it not.
Yet, so the universe was wrought.
Thought is another name for fate;
Choose, then, thy destiny and wait.
For love brings love and hate brings hate.

Not only does a person become what he thinks, but often he comes to look like it. If he worships the God of War, hard lines tend to develop on his countenance. If he worships the God of Lust, dissipation will mark his features. If he worships the God of Peace and Truth, serenity will crown his visage. A thoughtful poet gave us this:
A human face I love to view
And trace the passions of the soul;
On it the spirit writes anew
Each thought and feeling on a scroll.
There the mind its evil doings tells,
And there its noblest deeds do speak;
Just as the ringing of the bells
Proclaims a knell or wedding feast.
-�Author unknown

Inescapably we reap what we sow. If a farmer wants to raise wheat he must sow wheat, if he wishes fruit he must plant fruit trees, and so with any other crop. The principle is equally binding in the mental and spiritual spheres, as James Allen has expressed it in his well-known book, As a Man Thinketh.
As the plant springs from, and could not be without the seed, so every act of a man springs from the hidden seeds of thought, and could not have appeared without them. This applies equally to those acts called "spontaneous" and "unpremeditated" as to those which are deliberately executed. ...
In the armory of thought [man] forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. ... Between these two extremes are all grades of character, and man is their maker and master. ... Man is the master of thought, the moulder of character, and the maker and shaper of condition, environment and destiny.10 1

Cumulative Effect of Thoughts
This relationship of character to thought cannot be too strongly emphasized. How could a person possibly become what he is not thinking? Nor is any thought, when persistently entertained, too small to have its effect. The "divinity that shapes our ends" is indeed in ourselves. It is one's very self. In speaking of carving out a character, President David O. McKay has said:
Your tools are your ideals. The thought in your mind at this moment is contributing, however infinitesimally, almost imperceptibly to the shaping of your soul, even to the lineaments of your countenance even passing and idle thoughts leave their impression. Trees that can withstand the hurricane, sometimes yield to destroying pests that can scarcely be seen except with the aid of a microscope. Likewise, the greatest foes of the individual are not always the glaring evils of humanity but subtle influences of thought and of continual association with companions.
The cumulative effect of our thinking, and its power over life's circumstances, is strikingly expressed by James Allen:
A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of grovelling thoughts and base desires. Nor does a pure-minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of mere external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power. Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself. No such conditions can exist as descending into vice and its attendant sufferings apart from vicious inclinations, or ascending into virtue and its pure happiness without the continued cultivation of virtuous aspirations, and man, therefore, as the lord and master of his thoughts is the maker of himself, the shaper and author of environment. ...
Let a man radically alter his thoughts and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life. Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit and habit solidifies into circumstance.11 2
This "solidifying into circumstance" is the key to most of the success stories we read. The successful man thinks he can. As someone expressed it briefly and pointedly, "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right." Allen enlarges on this idea:
He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Columbus cherished a vision of another world, and he discovered it; Copernicus fostered the vision of a multiplicity of worlds and a wider universe, and he revealed it; Buddha beheld the vision of a spiritual world of stainless beauty and perfect peace, and he entered into it.12 3

Thoughts Govern Acts and Attitudes
The statement, "As a man thinketh, so is he," could equally well be rendered "As a man thinketh, so does he." If one thinks it long enough he is likely to do it. A minister acquaintance of mine, whom I knew rather well, was found by his wife hanging in the attic from the rafters. His thoughts had taken his life. He had become morose and despondent for two or more years. Certainly he had not come to suicide in a moment, for he had been a happy, pleasant person as I had known him. It must have been a long decline, ever steeper, controllable by him at first and perhaps out of hand as he neared the end of the trail. No one in his "right mind," and especially if he has an understanding of the gospel, will permit himself to arrive at this "point of no return."
Not only acts but attitudes rest on the thoughts we feed our minds. A young couple bickered and quarreled until their marriage was ended and divorce was final. They had been involved romantically with another erring couple. The man and the woman both wrote me, trying to smooth out the wrinkles and to make me feel justified and reconciled to their false conclusions. I acknowledged their letters in these terms:
Old man rationalization finally has convinced two basically good people that "evil is good, and good evil," and threads are now broken and solemn contracts are voided and solemn promises are abrogated when minds became incubators in which little thoughts grew to become vicious thoughts, and small acts of impropriety become near unforgivable acts affecting adversely the lives of four adults and many children. You have fallen in step with the world which seems intent on believing that good is evil and evil is good, and that black is white and darkness is light.

Our Thoughts Influence Others
No one has a right arbitrarily to shape the thoughts of others, but that is not to say that one's thoughts are entirely his own affair. Each of us inevitably affects others by the character his thoughts and actions have shaped. Each of us is part of mankind and gives to others as well as receives from them. One perceptive comment, whose authorship I do not know, expressed it in this way:
Into the hands of every individual is given a marvelous power for good or evil the silent, unconscious, unseen influence of his life. This is simply the constant radiation of what man really is, not what he pretends to be. ... Life is a state of constant radiation and absorption; to exist is to radiate; to exist is to be the recipient of radiation.
Man cannot escape for one moment from this radiation of his character, this constant weakening or strengthening of others. He cannot evade the responsibility by saying it is an unconscious influence. He can select the qualities that he will permit to be radiated. He can select the calmness, trust, generosity, truth, justice, loyalty, nobility�make them vitally active in his character�and by these qualities he will constantly affect the world.

Accountability for Our Thoughts
Thus far we have considered mainly the effect thoughts have on our life here. But what of the hereafter?
When I was about fourteen years of age I read the Bible through. It was a long, arduous task for me but I finished it with a degree of pride. When I read that all men would be judged according to their works, that seemed plausible and I thought I must mind my actions and my works. Then I read what the Savior said to the people of Palestine.
... Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. (Matt. 12:36-37.)
This seemed to me far-fetched, for when I "cussed" the cows which struck me in the eyes with their cocklebur-matted tails or kicked over the milk bucket, I looked around and there was not a single soul in the corral to hear me; and though the cow could hear, perhaps she could not interpret. And when I quarreled with my brothers out in the field, I was sure there were no other ears within many blocks. How then could one be judged by his words?
That was bad enough but there was worse to follow, for I later read in the Book of Mormon the words of a prophet saying that even our thoughts will condemn us.
... Our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us ... and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God. ... (Al. 12:14.)
It is well for all of us to realize that our thought sins as well as all other sins are recorded in heaven. Modern revelation gives us this:
Nevertheless, ye are blessed, for the testimony which ye have borne is recorded in heaven for the angels to look upon; and they rejoice over you, and your sins are forgiven you. (D&C 62:3.)
And this:
For verily the voice of the Lord is unto all men, and there is none to escape; and there is no eye that shall not see, neither ear that shall not hear, neither heart that shall not be penetrated. (D&C 1:2.)
If men's secret acts shall be revealed it is likely that their secret thoughts will also be revealed, for the iniquities of the rebellious shall be spoken from the housetops.
The one who harbors evil thoughts sometimes feels safe in the conviction that these thoughts are unknown to others and that they, like acts in the dark, are not discernible. The Revelator, John, seemed to clear this matter when he wrote:
And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. (Rev. 20:12.)
And in the last days an angel will "sound his trump, and reveal the secret acts of men, and the thoughts and intents of their hearts ." (D&C 88:109.)
Accordingly, men's deeds and thoughts must be recorded in heaven, and recording angels will not fail to make complete recordings of our thoughts and actions. We pay our tithing and the bishop records it in his book and gives us a receipt. But even if the entry fails to get in the ward record, we shall have full credit for the tithes we paid. There will be no omissions in the heavenly records, and they will all be available at the day of judgment. President John Taylor emphasized this:
Man sleeps the sleep of death, but the spirit lives where the record of his deeds is kept.
Man sleeps for a time in the grave, and by and by he rises again from the dead and goes to judgment; and then the secret thoughts of all men are revealed before him with whom we have to do; we cannot hide them; it would be in vain then for a man to say, "I did not do so and so"; the command would be, unravel and read the record which he has made of himself and let it testify in relation to these things, and all could gaze upon it.13 4
At that day we may be sure that we shall receive fair judgment. The judges will have the facts as they may be played back from our own records, and our voices and the pictures of our acts and the recordings of our thoughts will testify against and for us.
President J. Reuben Clark gave sober attention to this thought:
But there is one whom you do not deceive, and that is Christ, our Lord. He knows all. Personally, I have felt that nobody need keep much of a record about me, except what I keep myself in my mind, which is a part of my spirit. I often question in my mind, whether it is going to require very many witnesses in addition to my own wrongdoing.
Perhaps sometime all of us have felt that we were misjudged and that our sincere and well-intentioned efforts were not understood. How comforting it is to know that on judgment day we shall be treated fairly and justly and in the light of the total, true picture and the discernment of the Judge!

Nothing Secret to God
There are no corners so dark, no deserts so uninhabited, no canyons so remote, no automobiles so hidden, no homes so tight and shut in but that the all-seeing One can penetrate and observe. The faithful have always known this. The doubters should take a sober look at the situation in the light of the electronic devices which have come into increasing use in the last few years and which are often delicate and tiny but so powerful as almost to annihilate man's personal privacy.
These devices can apparently be used to reveal actions and even to tap thoughts. The lie detector is almost commonplace. Dreams are analyzed. Wire tapping has come prominently into use. A certain paint has been used as a conductor of electricity. A tiny outlet can pick up anything said in a room. Transmitters are built into picture frames, door knobs, typewriters, clocks, and other things. A palm-size direction microphone with pocket receiver and "hearing aid" attachment is capable of picking up a whisper fifty feet away. An eight-year-old lad in an eastern city can pick up a conversation 100 feet away in other people's homes. A policeman aimed the device 150 feet and could understand much of what was being said. One specialist had his instrument in the olive in a nearby martini; another in the mouthpiece of a telephone; another in the glove compartment of the car dashboard, in the handle of his brief case, and even in the cavity of a tooth of an intimate associate.
In the light of these modern marvels can anyone doubt that God hears prayers and discerns secret thoughts? A printer's camera can make a negative three feet square. What magnification! If human eyes and ears can so penetrate one's personal life, what may we expect from perfected men with perfected vision!
Every day, we record our voices on recording machines. Every day, pictures are taken and voices recorded and acts portrayed in live transmission over television. The scriptures indicate the existence of records of our works and words. Surely it is not too great a stretch of the imagination in modern days to believe that our thoughts as well will be recorded by some means now known only to higher beings!
When I was a little boy, some imaginative story teller in offering his "greatest yarn" told of some woodsmen in the far north who sat around the campfire in the far-below zero weather, and all at once their voices failed to register sound. It was so cold that the sounds were frozen. Later, when the warm rays of the spring sun came, the frozen sounds of the cold winter began to thaw and there came back the total conversations of that cold night in camp.
Today, when sounds are picked out of the air from all around the world, this does not seem such a fanciful tale as it did to us long ago.

Discernment of God's Servants
God "knowest thy thoughts and the intents of thy heart." (D&C 6:16.) The Savior at Jacob's well, without ever having seen the adulterous Samaritan woman before, told her: ... "Thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband ." (John 4:18.) The Lord knew of her adultery as he knew her whole life. Likewise the Lord liked into the dark recesses of the cold and corrupt hearts of the scribes and Pharisees who brought before him the woman taken in adultery. The Savior gave his classic answer, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." (John 8:7.) Their thoughts condemned them, and they melted away like snow under a summer sun.
A similar power of discernment and perception comes to men as they become perfect and the impediments which obstruct spiritual vision are dissolved. For example, Ananias and Sapphira (see Acts 5:1-10) secretly conspired to lie to God, but Peter was inspired to read their thoughts. There are many examples of this power, both ancient and modern. A story came down to my family about my grandfather, Heber G. Kimball. I repeat it as it was told to me:
Being in charge of the Endowment House, while the Temple was in the process of construction, Heber C. Kimball met with a group who were planning to enter the temple for ordinance work. He felt impressed that some were not worthy to go into the temple, and he suggested first that if any present were not worthy, they might retire. No one responding, he said that there were some present who should not proceed through the temple because of unworthiness and he wished they would leave so the company could proceed. It was quiet as death and no one moved nor responded. A third time he spoke, saying that there were two people present who were in adultery, and if they did not leave he would call out their names. Two people walked out and the company continued on through the temple.
Men of God are entitled to this discernment.

The Savior's Word on Thought Sins
Of vital interest to us is the interpretation of the Lord with regard to the sins of thought. His great sermons toward the beginning of his ministry revealed a new concept. He had been the author of the law under which the children of Israel had lived. He now seemed to hope that his people might begin to live the higher laws. At least, he felt to expound them and urged the people to observe them. He recalled the lower law and followed with the higher:
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill.
But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. ... (Matt. 5:21-22.)
The killing is an act of aggression. But anger is a thought sin. It may be the forerunner of murder. But if one's thoughts do not get vicious nor violent he is unlikely to take life.
Again, Jesus spoke of the practice of "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth," and came forward with the higher law:
... Whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matt. 5:39.)
This would be very difficult to do and it is the response of a man well on his way to perfection, but the rightness of it is apparent. To retaliate and fight back is human, but to accept indignities as did the Lord is divine. In advance, he was possibly anticipating the time when he himself would be tested; when he would permit himself to be kissed by a known traitor yet not resist; when he would be captured by a vicious mob yet not permit his loyal Apostle Peter to defend him, though Peter apparently was willing to die fighting for him.
A similar idea is involved in this contrast of the lower and higher laws:
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. (Matt. 5:43-44.)
Then we have the moral laws. The Lord remembered the profligacy and wantonness and bestiality of the days of old against which such strict laws were enacted. Perhaps in that day, if one could refrain from actual physical adultery he had been accounted quite righteous, but now came the higher law:
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. (Matt. 5:27-28.)
The thought that stirred the look that provoked the lust was evil in its beginning. To want, to desire, to crave--that is to lust. So when the thought is born which starts a chain reaction, a sin has already been committed. If the thought is sown, then develops into lust, it is almost certain to bring eventually the full harvest of the act of the heinous sin, adultery. Note that the term lust has other connotations in addition to the sexual one.
Murder is generally thought of as premeditated killing, and certainly no such act was ever completed unless the thought had preceded the action. No one ever robbed a bank until he had "cased" it, planned the robbery and considered the "getaway." Likewise adultery is not the result of a single thought. There first is a deterioration of thinking. Many sinful chain-thoughts have been coursing through the offender's mind before the physical sin is committed.
Yes, as a man thinketh, so does he. If he thinks it long enough he is likely to do it, whether it be theft, moral sin, or suicide. Thus the time to protect against the calamity is when the thought begins to shape itself. Destroy the seed and the plant will never grow.
Man alone, of all creatures of earth, can change his thought pattern and become the architect of his destiny.

Avoid the Initial Motivation
A graphic example of this came to my attention some years ago. In a community in the North, I visited a man occasionally who had above the desk in his printing establishment a huge picture of a nude woman. He laughed at the idea of its being destructive to his morals. But one day years later he came to me with a stained soul he had committed adultery. His house had fallen in on him. Certainly the thoughts provoked by the things always before his eyes must have had a deteriorating effect on him. There may have been other factors, but surely this one played its part.
We would all be well advised to avoid the motivation to the evil thought. If persistently resisted it will "get the message" and stay away. When I was in business in Arizona, the calendar salesman came each year and we always bought calendars and gave them to customers as advertising. The first year the salesman spread out on the desk: large, colored pictures of scantily clad girls, glamorous but shocking. We pushed them all aside and chose scenes, landscapes, and elevating pictures. In all the years following, that salesman never brought to me out of his car another suggestive picture.

Think Virtuous Thoughts
I came across the following sentence whose authorship I do not know:
A famous artist said he would never allow himself to look at an inferior drawing or painting, to do anything low or demoralizing, lest familiarity with it should taint his own ideal and thus be communicated to his brush.
It would be well for each of us to observe the same principle, lest the tainting of his ideal be communicated to his eternal soul. Accordingly, let our thoughts rest upon sacred things.
... Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. (D&C 121:45. Italics added.)
President McKay likes to quote the following:
Sow a thought, reap an act;
Sow an act, reap a habit;
Sow a habit, reap a character;
Sow a character, reap an eternal destiny.
Such is the power�and the outcome�of our thoughts.
1. James Allen, As a Man Thinketh. The entire book is recommended to the thoughtful reader.
2. Ibid.
3. Ibid.
4. Journal of Discourses, Vol. 11, pp. 78-79.

Self Mastery

Self-Mastery

RUSSELL M. NELSON

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

If our faith be united in prayer that we may be edified together, I should like to speak about our quest for self-mastery. In so doing, I would converse as a loving father counseling one of my own children.

Before you can master yourself, my precious one, you need to know who you are. You consist of two parts—your physical body, and your spirit which lives within your body. You may have heard the expression “mind over matter.” That’s what I would like to talk about—but phrase it a little differently: “spirit over body.” That is self-mastery.

When you arrived as a newborn baby, your little body was master. You had what I call the “I-want-what-I-want-when-I-want-it” philosophy. No amount of discussion could postpone your impatient demands when you wanted to be fed—and now! Like all parents, we anxiously anticipated the first smile, a word, a glimpse at the potential of the spirit within your tiny body. Is there a mother who has not cradled her baby as your sweet mother did, in wistful wonder of the destiny of her dear little one? Even Mary, the mother of Jesus, might have asked such questions:

Baby, lyin’ in a manger, slumberin’ so sweetly,
What you goin’ to be?
Baby, all the world is watchin’, all the world awaits to see.
What will you be?
Baby, sleepin’ in a stable, underneath the heaven,
What you goin’ to say? …
Baby, lyin’ in a manger,
Will you save the world one day?
Through those early years, we parents are properly concerned with physical needs of our children, such as food, clothing, and shelter.

But as you grow older, our concerns shift more toward your spiritual growth, in order that you might achieve your full potential. “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit … and becometh a saint.” (Mosiah 3:19.)

That requires self-mastery. Remember, “The spirit and the body are the soul of man” (D&C 88:15.) Both are of great importance. Your physical body is a magnificent creation of God. It is his temple as well as yours, and must be treated with reverence. Scripture declares: “Ye are the temple of God. … If any man defile [it], him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.” (1 Cor. 3:16–17.)

Remarkable as your body is, its prime purpose is even of greater importance—to serve as tenement for your spirit. Abraham taught that “these … spirits … existed before, they shall have no end … for they are … eternal.” (Abr. 3:18.)

Your spirit acquired a body at birth and became a soul to live in mortality through periods of trial and testing. Part of each test is to determine if your body can become mastered by the spirit that dwells within it.

Although your spirit had a veil of forgetfulness placed over it at the time of your birth into mortality, it retained its power to remember all that happens—precisely recording each event of life. Indeed, scriptures warn “that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” (Matt. 12:36.) Prophets refer to our “bright recollection” (Alma 11:43) and “perfect remembrance” (Alma 5:18) at that day of decision.

Since thoughts precede deeds, you must first learn to control your thoughts. “As [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Prov. 23:7.)

In your quest for self-mastery, full participation in the activities of the Church will help. I’ll mention but a few. A first step comes as we learn together to keep the Sabbath day holy. This is one of the Ten Commandments. (See Ex. 20:8; Deut. 5:15.) We honor the Sabbath “to pay [our] devotions unto the Most High” (D&C 59:10), and because the Lord declared: “It is a sign between me and you … that ye may know that I am the Lord that doth sanctify you.” (Ex. 31:13; see also Ezek. 20:20.)

Another step toward self-mastery comes when you are old enough to observe the law of the fast. As funds are contributed from meals missed, the needs of the poor may be met. But meanwhile, through your spirit, you develop personal power over your body’s drives of hunger and thirst. Fasting gives you confidence to know that your spirit can master appetite.

Some time ago your mother and I visited a third-world country where sanitary conditions were much poorer than ours. We joined with a delegation of other doctors from all over the world. The president of our group, an experienced traveler, warned of risks. In order to avoid water that might be contaminated, we were even counseled to brush our teeth with an alcoholic beverage. We chose not to follow that counsel, but simply did what we had learned to do once a month. We fasted that first day, thinking we could introduce simple food and fluids gradually thereafter. Later, we were the only ones in our group without disabling illness.

Fasting fortifies discipline over appetite and helps to protect against later uncontrolled cravings and gnawing habits.

Another step toward self-mastery comes from obedience to the Word of Wisdom. Remember, it contains a “promise, adapted to the capacity of … the weakest of all saints.” (D&C 89:3.) It was given “in consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days.” (D&C 89:4.) Indeed, as you develop courage to say no to alcohol, tobacco, and other stimulants, you gain additional strength. You can then refuse conspiring men—those seditious solicitors of harmful substances or smut. You can reject their evil enticements to your body.

If you yield to anything that can addict, and thus defy the Word of Wisdom, your spirit surrenders to the body. The flesh then enslaves the spirit. This is contrary to the purpose of your mortal existence. And in the process of such addiction, your life span is likely to be shortened, thereby reducing the time available for repentance by which your spirit might attain self-mastery over your body.

Other physical appeals come during your courtship period. In your youth, you may be challenged by restraints of parents hoping to guide you through this wonderful period of life.

Because the adversary is keenly aware of the power of physical temptation, Alma instructed his son and all of us: “See that ye bridle all your passions.” (Alma 38:12.)

When you marry, you and your eternal companion may then invoke the power of procreation, that you may have joy and rejoicing in your posterity. This divine endowment is guarded by your Creator’s law of chastity. All through the years, remember: chastity is the powerful protector of virile manhood and the crown of beautiful womanhood.

In courtship and marriage, virtue seems to come under attack first. Mental turmoil that trails in the wake of weakness from lust has evoked many a tear from innocent loved ones. Without repentance, tumult within self does not quit either.

Shakespeare expressed such self-conflict as one of his characters contemplating conquest in lust spoke these lines:

What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.
Who buys a minute’s mirth to wail a week?
Or sells eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will the vine destroy?
Prophets have repeatedly cautioned about moral sin. One, for example, warned: “O, my beloved brethren, remember the awfulness in transgressing against that Holy God, and also the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one. Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.” (2 Ne. 9:39; see also Rom. 8:6; Alma 36:4; D&C 29:35; D&C 67:10.)

Now don’t misunderstand me. I would not want you to neglect your body. It deserves daily care. Physical conditioning through regular exercise requires self-mastery too. I marvel at Elder Joseph Anderson, now in his ninety-sixth year. For decades, the strength of his spirit over his body has induced him to swim regularly. But his motivation has never been to attain physical longevity. That has come only incidentally. His desire has been to serve God and His anointed. Elder Anderson has followed what I label as the Lord’s prescription for a long and useful life. Those faithful in “magnifying their calling, are sanctified by the Spirit unto the renewing of their bodies. They become … the elect of God.” (D&C 84:33–34.)

Elder Anderson’s exercise program agrees with the perspective of Paul, who said: “Bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.” (1 Tim. 4:8.)

Handsome and fit, Elder Anderson personifies this scripture: “Glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Cor. 6:20.)

As you work during the productive years of life, whether at home or in the field, in the factory or at a workbench, reputation is built and character is forged as you develop self-mastery. Faithful payment of tithing is part of that process. It defends you against dishonesty or shabby temptations. Courageous accountability for your own actions becomes a cherished prize.

It really matters what you listen to, what you look at, what you think, say, and do. Select music that will strengthen your spirit. Control your speech; keep it free from profanity and vulgarity. Follow the teachings of this proverb: “My mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.

“All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing … perverse in them.” (Prov. 8:7–8.)

As you approach old age, you will face new challenges to self-mastery. Symptoms of the deteriorating body can be painful, even disabling. Deep aches of sadness are caused by the departing of loved ones. For some, these deepening trials come early in life. But when yours are thrust upon you, remember a concept expressed by my father some time after my mother had passed away. Your grandparents had been married for sixty-four years. When someone asked how he was doing, my father simply stated, “I’m lonely, but I’m not lonesome.” Do you know what he meant? Though he was now without his sweetheart, he was so busy assisting family and friends, he had replaced sorrow with service and had displaced self-pity with selfless love. He had found joy in following the timeless example of the Master.

Jesus, our Savior, was born in the lowliest of circumstances. For his baptism he was immersed in the lowest body of fresh water upon the planet. In service and suffering, he also “descended below” all things (D&C 122:8), that he could rise above all things. Near the end of his life, he triumphantly declared, “I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33.) “Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life.” (3 Ne. 15:9.) Scriptures tutor us at least twenty-six times * to endure to the end to attain eternal life. Then we will obtain a resurrected body—one that is incorruptible, glorified, and prepared to live in the presence of God.

To reach your highest destiny, emulate the Savior. He proclaimed, “What manner of men ought ye to be? … Even as I am.” (3 Ne. 27:27.) Our loftiest hope is to grow in spirit and attain “the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children.” (Eph. 4:13–14.)

You will then be well prepared for that pending day of judgment when, as taught by President Spencer W. Kimball, “the soul, composed of the resurrected body and the eternal spirit, … will come before the great judge to receive its final assignment for the eternity” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, p. 46.)

Remember, my dear one, not an age in life passes without temptation, trial, or torment experienced through your physical body. But as you prayerfully develop self-mastery, desires of the flesh may be subdued. And when that has been achieved, you may have the strength to submit to your Heavenly Father, as did Jesus, who said, “Not my will, but thine, be done.” (Luke 22:42.)

When deepening trials come your way, remember this glorious promise of the Savior: “To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.” (Rev. 3:21.)

Christ is our great Exemplar. I declare, as a special witness, that he is the Son of God and “is the life and the light of the world.” (Alma 38:9; see also D&C 11:28.) We develop self-mastery as we become like him, I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Think on Christ

Think on Christ

BY PRESIDENT EZRA TAFT BENSON

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

The Product of My Thoughts
To introduce my theme, I want to tell you, in his own words, of a life-changing experience that happened to President George Albert Smith when he was a boy. His words are as follows:

“As a child, thirteen years of age, I went to school at the Brigham Young Academy. … I cannot remember much of what was said during the year that I was there, but there is one thing that I will probably never forget. … Dr. [Karl G.] Maeser one day stood up and said:

“‘Not only will you be held accountable for the things you do, but you will be held responsible for the very thoughts you think.’

“Being a boy, not in the habit of controlling my thoughts very much, it was quite a puzzle to me what I was to do, and it worried me. In fact, it stuck to me just like a burr. About a week or ten days after that it suddenly came to me what he meant. I could see the philosophy of it then. All at once there came to me this interpretation of what he had said: Why of course you will be held accountable for your thoughts, because when your life is completed in mortality, it will be the sum of your thoughts. That one suggestion has been a great blessing to me all my life, and it has enabled me upon many occasions to avoid thinking improperly, because I realize that I will be, when my life’s labor is complete, the product of my thoughts.” (George Albert Smith, Sharing the Gospel with Others, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Company, 1948, pp. 62–63.)

Thoughts lead to acts, acts lead to habits, habits lead to character—and our character will determine our eternal destiny.

King Benjamin understood this. In the next to last verse of his great discourse recorded in the Book of Mormon, he states: “And finally, I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them.” (Mosiah 4:29.)

Then in the last verse he counsels that we must watch ourselves and our thoughts. (See Mosiah 4:30.)

When Christ appeared in America following His resurrection, He stated: “Behold, it is written by them of old time, that thou shalt not commit adultery;

“But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman, to lust after her, hath committed adultery already in his heart.

“Behold, I give unto you a commandment, that ye suffer none of these things to enter into your heart.” (3 Ne. 12:27–29.)

“Enter into your heart”—why, of course, for as the scripture states: “As he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Prov. 23:7.)

So critical is it that we understand the necessity of controlling our thoughts that President Spencer W. Kimball devoted a whole chapter to it in his book The Miracle of Forgiveness (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969). The chapter captioned “As a Man Thinketh” is the title of a book by James Allen which President Kimball recommended. He quoted from this book three times. One quotation stated:

“A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of grovelling thoughts and base desires. Nor does a pure-minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of mere external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power. Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.” (Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 105.)

President Kimball also quotes President David O. McKay, who said:

“The thought in your mind at this moment is contributing, however infinitesimally, almost imperceptibly to the shaping of your soul, even to the lineaments of your countenance … even passing and idle thoughts leave their impression.” (Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 105.)

The mind has been likened to a stage on which only one act at a time can be performed. From one side of the wings the Lord, who loves you, is trying to put on the stage of your mind that which will bless you. From the other side of the wings the devil, who hates you, is trying to put on the stage of your mind that which will curse you.

You are the stage manager—you are the one who decides which thought will occupy the stage. Remember, the Lord wants you to have a fullness of joy like His. The devil wants all men to be miserable like unto himself. You are the one who must decide whose thoughts you will entertain. You are free to choose—but you are not free to alter the consequences of those choices. You will be what you think about—what you consistently allow to occupy the stage of your mind.

Sometimes you may have difficulty driving off the stage of your mind a certain evil thought. To drive it off, Elder Boyd K. Packer suggests that you sing an inspirational song of Zion, or just think on its words. Elder Bruce R. McConkie recommends that after the opening song, you might preach a sermon to yourself. In fact, he says the finest sermons he has ever preached have been preached to himself.

We should not invite the devil to give us a stage presentation. Usually with our hardly realizing it, he slips into our thoughts. Our accountability begins with how we handle the evil thought immediately after it is presented. Like Jesus, we should positively and promptly terminate the temptation. We should not allow the devil to elaborate with all his insidious reasoning.

It is our privilege to store our memories with good and great thoughts and bring them out on the stage of our minds at will. When the Lord faced His three great temptations in the wilderness, He immediately rebutted the devil with appropriate scripture which He had stored in His memory.

“Look unto Me in Every Thought”
The Lord said, “Look unto me in every thought.” (D&C 6:36.) Looking unto the Lord in every thought is the only possible way we can be the manner of men and women we ought to be.

The Lord asked the question of His disciples, “What manner of men ought ye to be?” He then answered His own question by saying, “Even as I am.” (3 Ne. 27:27.) To become as He is, we must have Him on our mind—constantly in our thoughts. Every time we partake of the sacrament, we commit to “always remember him.” (Moro. 4:3, Moro. 5:2; D&C 20:77, 79.)

If thoughts make us what we are, and we are to be like Christ, then we must think Christlike thoughts. Let me repeat that: If thoughts make us what we are, and we are to be like Christ, we must think Christlike thoughts.

Paul, en route to Damascus to persecute the Saints, saw a light from heaven and heard the voice of the Lord. Then Paul asked a simple eight-word question—and the persistent asking of the same question changed his life. “Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?” (Acts 9:6.) The persistent asking of that same question can also change your life. There is no greater question that you can ask in this world. “Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?” I challenge you to make that the uppermost question of your life.

In his book Youth and the Church, Elder Harold B. Lee included a chapter entitled “Lord, What Wilt Thou Have Me Do?” He began the chapter by relating this experience:

“Some time ago I heard a leader in a high Church position explain his method of endeavoring to arrive at just and equitable decisions in his council meetings. He explained that as problems would be presented, he would frequently ask himself, ‘As measured by the record of the Master’s teaching, just what would He do in this given situation, or just how would He answer this question or solve this problem?’” (Harold B. Lee, Youth and the Church, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Company, 1945, p. 49.) While he doesn’t mention who the man was, that man in due time would become the President of the Church, President David O. McKay.

My friend Tom Anderson told the following story:

“There was a little crippled boy who ran a small newsstand in a crowded railroad station. He must have been about twelve years old. Every day he would sell papers, candy, gum, and magazines to the thousands of commuters passing through the terminal.

“One night two men were rushing through the crowded station to catch a train. One was fifteen or twenty yards in front of the other. It was Christmas eve. Their train was scheduled to depart in a matter of minutes.

“The first man turned a corner and in his haste to get home to a Christmas cocktail party plowed right into the little crippled boy. He knocked him off his stool, and candy, newspapers, and gum were scattered everywhere. Without so much as stopping, he cursed the little fellow for being there and rushed on to catch the train that would take him to celebrate Christmas in the way he had chosen for himself.

“It was only a matter of seconds before the second commuter arrived on the scene. He stopped, knelt, and gently picked up the boy. After making sure the child was unhurt, the man gathered up the scattered newspapers, sweets, and magazines. Then he took his wallet and gave the boy a five dollar bill. ‘Son,’ he said, ‘I think this will take care of what was lost or soiled. Merry Christmas!’

“Without waiting for a reply the commuter now picked up his briefcase and started to hurry away. As he did, the little crippled boy cupped his hands together and called out, ‘Mister, Mister!’

“The man stopped as the boy asked, ‘Are you Jesus Christ?’

“By the look on his face, it was obvious the commuter was embarrassed by the question. But he smiled and said, ‘No, son. I am not Jesus Christ, but I am trying hard to do what He would do if He were here.’” (American Opinion, December 1971, pp. 13–14.)

And that, my friend, is what it means to be a Christian, even on Christmas eve.

What Would Jesus Do?
Some years ago Charles Sheldon wrote a book entitled In His Steps. It is perhaps one of the greatest best-sellers in American history. It tells the story of a small group of people within a Christian congregation who took a pledge. The pledge was that for an entire year they earnestly and honestly would not do anything without first asking the question, “What would Jesus do?” After asking themselves that question, they were to follow Jesus exactly as they knew how, no matter what the results. The book tells what happened and how their lives were revolutionized.

Just before he died, Charles Sheldon wrote a small sequel to his book entitled In His Steps Today. It tells of Mr. and Mrs. Ralph Ward and their four children. Their two oldest children, George and Alice, attended college while their two youngest, John and Mary, were in high school. Mr. Ward was an official in a railroad office, and Mrs. Ward was prominent in the social, church, and literary life of the city.

One morning as the family was eating breakfast, Mr. Ward told of coming across a book in the library which he and Mrs. Ward had read some twenty-five years earlier, just before their marriage. It was entitled In His Steps, or What Would Jesus Do?

He wondered if the plan was practical, if it really worked. He knew of a large number of people who had taken the pledge to try to act as Jesus who had some interesting experiences. He knew the children were eager to try experiments in the chemical laboratory and in other fields and wondered if they would be willing to conduct an experiment in the world of conduct.

He asked them if just for that day, for example, they would be willing to do nothing without first asking, “What would Jesus do?” and then try to do the same.

There was embarrassing silence around the table. They were a Christian family, but the subject was unusual. Finally the silence was broken by John, “the irrepressible,” as the others called him: “If we take that pledge, what’s the matter with you and Mother taking it, too? You were talking to us yesterday about the bad example the old people set to the young generation. How about you and Mother, Dad?”

The father agreed. Mrs. Ward said she would join in the pledge with the understanding that each one would give it an honest and sincere trial.

Perhaps the members of their family did not know it, but this event was to make history for all of them. The pledge was to run until ten o’clock that night. Then they were to meet at that time to share their experiences of the day, holding back nothing.

I wish I had time to tell you all of their experiences. Let me quote the parents, tell what happened to the younger ones, and consider the final question raised by Mr. Ward.

First, let’s hear from Mr. Ward:

“‘My first experience came to me as I went into my office this morning, and … saw Crawford of the auditing department. He was very much put out yesterday when he accused me of backing into his car out in front of the office, and bending a fender. I told him he had parked his car at such an angle that I couldn’t get out without hitting it. We both became angry. This morning I went in, asked his pardon, and offered to buy him a new fender. It did us both good. …

“‘This afternoon out at the golf course, while I was putting my things back into my locker, two of the members of the club came in and took flasks out of their lockers, drank, and offered some to the rest of us. This has been going on for a long time against the rules of the club and the laws of the state, but no one has ever enforced them. It seemed to me that if Jesus saw a crime being committed, he would consider it his duty as a good citizen to prevent it. I went to the chairman of the House Committee and reported the breaking of the rules, which has raised a storm.

“‘Several of the members came to me this evening down at the literary club, and threatened to blackball me at the next election for directors if I did not withdraw my charges against the drinkers. More will come from this. But what would Jesus do? It has been an interesting day.’”

Now let’s hear from Mrs. Ward:

“‘I really did not know what following Jesus might mean, but my story has to do with the action of our woman’s Board of Directors in renting a part of our building to certain parties who are allowing dancing of a questionable character to go on, together with card games that are practically nothing but gambling.

“‘I have known of this for some time as all the women do, but did not want to be unpopular by objecting. At the directors’ meeting today, however, I expressed my opinion and objection. The club is in debt, and the amusement concessions bring in big rent. I am the only member of the board to file a protest. It will mean—’ Mrs. Ward paused, and there was a moment of silence.”

Finally, let’s hear from the younger ones, John and Mary, with Mary leading out:

“‘We went to an entertainment this evening. A lot of the girls at the high school had been to see it, and they told John and me that it was grand. But I’d rather John told what happened.’

“John seemed to be unusually reluctant to relate their experiences. Finally he spoke in a subdued tone that was unlike his usual loud and assertive manner.

“‘Well, after it began,’ he said, ‘I thought it was one of those foolish things that was just for—well, just entertainment. Then I remembered what you said one day, Mother, about not wanting Mary and me to go to any entertainment that we wouldn’t invite you or father to see. Well, it got pretty vulgar, and—’

“Another silence around the table. Mrs. Ward looked at the boy with a new expression, as if some very rare experience were being related—as indeed it was.

“The boy went on slowly: ‘Just then Mary nudged me and whispered, “Let’s get up and go out!” Honest, I thought it would be a [strange] thing to do, but then when I asked “What would Jesus do?” it seemed all right. So we got up, treading on a lot of feet in the row where we had been sitting.’

“‘On our way out,’ broke in Mary, ‘I said to John, “Let’s do one more thing. Let’s tell the manager why we are going out.” John said, “All right, and let’s tell him to give us our money back because we did not pay for that kind of entertainment.” You never will see a more surprised man than Mr. Rondus when we told him how we felt!’

“‘Surprised isn’t the word,’ interrupted John. ‘He was flabbergasted! When I told him we thought he ought to refund our money, he didn’t say a word, but forked the money right over. Do you think we did what Jesus would do?’

“Mrs. Ward had a tear in her eye. She reached over and stroked the boy’s head. ‘A thing like that never happened in this town before. Well, we certainly have had some new experiences.’

“‘Worthwhile, don’t you think? But can we keep it up?’ questioned Mr. Ward.

“The question provoked a discussion around the Ward table that lasted into the next morning.

“What do you think?” (Charles M. Sheldon, In His Steps Today, Litchfield: Sunshine Press, 1948, pp. 22–24, 29–31.)

Walking in His Way
I began my remarks this morning by discussing how we are accountable for our thoughts and how we are what we think about. I have concluded by affirming that our thoughts should be on the Lord. We should think on Christ.

I testify to you that there is no greater, more thrilling, and more soul-enobling challenge than to try to learn of Christ and walk in His steps. Our model, Jesus Christ, walked this earth as “the Exemplar.” He is our Advocate with the Father. He worked out the great atoning sacrifice so we could have a fullness of joy and be exalted in accordance with His grace and our repentance and righteousness. He did all things perfectly and commands that we be perfect even as He and His Father are perfect. (See 3 Ne. 12:48.)

“What would Jesus do?” or “What would He have me do?” are the paramount personal questions of this life. Walking in His way is the greatest achievement of life. That man or woman is most truly successful whose life most closely parallels that of the Master.

I know the Lord lives. I know that He loves us. I know that apart from Him no one can succeed, but as a partner with Him no one can fail.

I know that God can make a lot more out of our lives than we can.

May we all have the moral courage from this moment forward to more fully strive each day to think on Christ, learn of Him, walk in His steps, and do what He would have us do.

Making the Marriage Decision

How faith helped these young adults overcome fear and make the choice to marry.

For many young adults, making the marriage decision is straightforward and simple. For others, it’s not so easy. As children of what has been called the “divorce revolution,” today’s young adults have seen the consequences of failed marriages. Current social trends toward delaying and even avoiding marriage further complicate the matter. Some young adults become overly concerned with finding the right person, waiting for the perfect timing, or feeling fully prepared to commit for eternity. In fact, a recent study of Latter-day Saints in the United States showed that one-third of young adults ages 21 to 25 have some concerns or reservations about their readiness for marriage. ¹

Despite these challenges, Church leaders have affirmed the command to marry and have assured young adults that eternal marriage is not only possible but also desirable. While serving as a member of the Seventy, Elder Earl C. Tingey said at a Church Educational System (CES) fireside for young adults, “For some, [marriage and family] would appear impossible to obtain. But please have faith, and join that faith with works. The Lord is aware of you as individuals and of your particular circumstances. He will bless you. He will assist you in bringing to pass that which is right and which you righteously desire. Please have faith.” ²

Here, young adults tell of the fears and setbacks they faced in making the marriage decision—and the faith they found to carry them through.

Trusting the Lord to Be My Guide

For me, getting a confirmation about my marriage was like filling a glass. Because I knew that dating and marriage were things to pray about, I pictured myself getting a “full glass” of an answer the first time I prayed. But I became confused when I went on a few dates with Karen and couldn’t figure out where to go from there. I liked her personality, but I didn’t know about her testimony or anything else. I was afraid of the relationship ending with broken hearts or anger. However, I realized I would know what to do only by spending time with her. I figured that in the end it would be a learning experience for both of us—whatever that end would be.

We eventually decided to date exclusively, but neither of us knew exactly what we wanted from the relationship and we broke up a few times because we weren’t on the same page. She had strong desires to serve a mission, and I strongly wanted to be sure of whom I should date and marry. Plus, we were both afraid of making a mistake in choosing when and whom to marry.

As I sought priesthood blessings and counsel from priesthood leaders and continued to pray, the glass continued to fill. I learned more about Karen and me—what we could work through together, what our personal weaknesses and strengths were and how they affected us, what our fears were and how we would deal with them, and how to communicate with each other. We both saw from experience that we worked well together and complemented each other. We learned of each other’s faith, testimony, opinions, and quirks. As I prayed and as my glass filled, I felt added courage to keep dating her to see what would happen. I didn’t know “for sure,” but my faith that things would work between us increased.

Over time, I realized that I truly loved Karen and wanted to spend eternity with her. When she met my family and I saw how she fit in, my glass was full. It took me a year to get to that point, but when I did, the doubt dispersed and I could see clearly. I knew I should marry her and I knew that I knew.

I’ve wondered what would have happened had I not had the faith to let the Lord guide me through my relationship with Karen. I’m glad I had the courage to move forward, even in uncertainty. Because we learned so much in our dating and during our engagement, our adjustment to marriage has been smooth, and we are extremely happy.

Tyler Heasley, California, USA

Choosing to Take My Own Path

For many of my teenage years and into my first years of college, my parents struggled significantly in their marriage. Their relationship deteriorated so much that when I left on my mission, I wasn’t sure they would still be married when I returned.

My parents did stay married and worked through their struggles, and I came home to find them closer to each other than I had ever seen them before. However, my grandparents, who had been married for more than 50 years, got divorced while I was on my mission. That devastated me, not only because they’d been together for so long, but also because they had “done it right”—they had been sealed in the temple and remained active in the Church.

My exposure to these situations left me wondering if it was all worth it and if I could expect to have a happy, successful marriage. Even when I began dating the young man I would eventually marry—someone I had known for years and whose family I adored—I still felt unsettled.

Over time I felt good about our growing relationship. The man I was dating was kind, thoughtful, and considerate, not just with me, but also with others. He was faithful in his Church callings, and, since we were both returned missionaries, we would often attend the temple together, all of which helped me to feel peace and gain confidence that he was a worthy choice. Still, when he started talking about getting married, I wasn’t sure.

I wish I could say that when I knelt down and prayed about it, peace and clarity came right away. They didn’t. It took weeks and even months. It was frustrating for my boyfriend, who did not have the same fears that I did. He already felt peace about our relationship and wanted to move forward. I am grateful that he waited patiently for my witness to come.

When it did come, it wasn’t huge or overwhelming, but I’ll never forget it. It was sweet and personal and very peaceful. It didn’t mean that my other doubts or concerns vanished, because they didn’t. In fact, I think the closer we got to marriage and realized what a big decision we were making, the more worries popped up! But those feelings of peace fed my faith, and I was able to move forward. Marriage is hard at times, but because of the confirmation I worked and waited for, I never doubt the decision I made to marry my husband.

Name Withheld

Reaping the Rewards of Faith

I was almost done with my undergraduate education before I really believed marriage was for me. Before then, I didn’t have a testimony of the doctrine of marriage and I felt no real need to date or seek a marriage partner. There were even a few times when I tried to commit to a life of solitude, but lessons from the scriptures and encouragement from my family were enough to nudge me into the dating scene.

Eventually a testimony—vibrant and undeniable—came, and I was faced with a straightforward decision: I could accept eternal marriage along with all of the other gospel principles I knew to be true, or I could reject eternal marriage and knowingly rebel against Heavenly Father’s plan. In my mind I could clearly see the consequences of choosing to stay single and of choosing to marry. This understanding—a gift from the Holy Ghost—made it easy to choose the better path, to look for dates rather than for escapes, and to be obedient to the testimony I had received.

My decision to marry would have meant little if I had not actively worked toward securing the blessing. Knowing that the girl of my dreams would most likely not show up on my doorstep, I committed myself to doing what would result in a proper, happy temple marriage. I prayed, fasted, attended the temple, and exercised faith that I would find the young woman I wanted to marry. I made practical adjustments as well: I knew the best way to meet people was to socialize, so I made time for both formal dates and social activities. When I started dating Keisy, I had to start planning for two people in my schedule and not just one. I had to find things for us to do so we could get to know each other better.

Even after I had gained a testimony of eternal marriage, my desire to be married was still small. But as Keisy and I dated and the strength of our relationship increased, my desire for temple marriage increased too. It continued to grow after the proposal, the engagement pictures, the family parties, and each subsequent act that prepared us for our new life together. By the time we were seated in the temple waiting for the sealer to arrive, my desire to be sealed had grown from a seed of faith into “a tree springing up unto everlasting life” (Alma 32:41).

My testimony of marriage has increased since our temple sealing; I have learned more fully the doctrine of marriage and family by doing His will (see John 7:17).

Jordan Pendergrass, Arizona, USA

Looking Ahead—Not Back

When I met the man who would become my husband, we had both recently returned from missions. He immediately impressed me; he was active in the Church, treated me like gold, and had a kind spirit. Friendship turned into love, and in what seemed like no time at all, we were talking about getting married. It was a whirlwind of excitement.

But then one day he told me about his past. With regret he explained to me that he had never graduated from high school. He also told me he hadn’t always been active in the Church.

I looked at the man I loved and couldn’t picture the person he was describing. I tried not to let this new information bother me, but it kept nagging me in the back of my mind. Would he always be a hard worker? Would he be able to provide for our family? What if he became less active in the Church again? I felt that these concerns were valid, but I didn’t have answers to any of them.

Although I could not see what the future would hold if I were to marry this man, I could trust Heavenly Father to guide me in my decision. Over the course of several months, I prayed fervently and attended the temple regularly in seeking direction. The turning point came slowly as I realized that my boyfriend had many traits that were vital for me in a husband. He had a strong testimony of the gospel. He held a current temple recommend. He treated me with tremendous respect. And he loved me very much.

There could be no way of knowing how things he had experienced (or things I had experienced, for that matter) would affect our future together, but I needed to look at where he was now and where he was going, not just at where he had been. Furthermore, I could trust Heavenly Father to help us as we followed Him. The answer I received may not be the one that everyone receives, but I know that as we go to Him in faith, Heavenly Father will guide each of us.

My husband and I have been married four years now. He has a great job, and we have meaningful opportunities to serve in our ward. We have discovered that when you have someone who is on your side and who loves you despite your weaknesses, you want to become better. Neither of us is perfect, but in doing what is right and staying close to the Lord, we have found great happiness.

Name Withheld

Choosing Love

During the two years I dated my husband, Jon, I prayed often about marrying him, but I never got an awe-inspiring answer that so many others seemed to talk about. I had heard so many of those stories that I was afraid marrying Jon wasn’t right unless I had a miraculous confirmation experience too.

I was also weighing a decision about serving a mission. I proceeded with the process of putting in my papers and met with my bishop. He asked about my relationship with Jon. The bishop suggested that if I was OK with Jon marrying another girl, then I should move forward with serving a mission. If I was not OK with his being with someone else, then maybe I should reconsider.

I spent a lot of time thinking about that counsel. I knew I loved Jon, but I didn’t want to give up other good opportunities. As I was praying over the matter one day, I received the distinct impression through a feeling: “It’s your choice.” As unromantic as it may sound, that answer was exactly what I needed. Of course it had always been my choice, but this prompting reminded me that I didn’t need to wait for earth-shattering, divine intervention to tell me to marry Jon; I knew we were compatible, I knew I loved him, and I knew marrying him would be a good thing. All that was left was for me to make the choice.

“If it’s my choice,” I thought, “then I choose him.” It was hard to give up the opportunity of a mission, but from that moment on, I was committed, and we started planning for marriage.

I still had occasional doubts and fears, but because I had made the choice to marry Jon, I also had made the choice to help things work out. (Imagine that—having to work at a relationship!) Choosing to work at our relationship has made all the difference because as I have done so, I have felt closer to and more in love with my husband.

Marriage isn’t always easy—most worthwhile things have difficult moments. But when I come to those moments, I remember what I felt when I received that simple but powerful answer to my prayer: we choose our companions and then go to work to make those relationships meaningful throughout our lives.

Marie Cottle, Utah, USA

Relying on Faith, Not Fear

My relationship with Nathan had progressed—rather quickly—as far as any of my previous dating relationships had, but the others had ended with painful breakups. Because that had been my only experience with dating, I assumed my relationship with Nathan would end the same way. Besides, he had just accepted a job more than 2,000 miles away. I was a first-year law student and wasn’t sure that transferring was feasible—let alone desirable.

One night I realized how much fear was holding me back. I remembered something I had heard a few months before in Sunday School. The teacher had reminded us that the Savior can heal all hurts—even the ones that happen in dating. I decided that Nathan had come into my life for a reason and I needed to let that reason play out, whatever the outcome turned out to be. If I did end up getting hurt, I could have faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ to get me through it.

Just a few days later, Nathan proposed—and I accepted. But almost as soon as we started making plans for our life together, fear set in again. What if I didn’t complete my degree? What would it be like living so far away from family and friends? Marrying Nathan would bring many major changes to my life plans and add a lot of unknowns to the future.

Again, I received a feeling of assurance. After attending the temple, I was reading my scriptures and contemplating my decision to marry Nathan when I came across this sentence in Moroni 8:16: “Perfect love casteth out all fear.”

It struck me that the love of two righteous people moving toward the Savior could cast out the fear of all the world’s unknowns. This experience gave me the peace I needed to move forward with the decision to marry Nathan and the courage to make changes to my educational and career path. I know that the love Nathan and I have is not perfect, but through Jesus Christ, it can be made so.

Julianne Taylor Zollinger, Virginia, USA

Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence

“I am not saying you shouldn’t be very careful about something as significant and serious as marriage. … Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. You can find an apartment. You can win over your mother-in-law. You can sell your harmonica and therein fund one more meal. It’s been done before. Don’t give in. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. ‘Cast not away therefore your confidence.’ Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence,” Brigham Young University devotional address, March 2, 1999.

For me, getting a confirmation about my marriage was like filling a glass.

When my witness did come, it wasn’t huge or overwhelming, but I’ll never forget it. It was sweet and personal and very peaceful.

My desire to be sealed had grown from a seed of faith into “a tree springing up unto everlasting life.”

I needed to look at where he was now and where he was going, not just at where he had been. I could trust Heavenly Father to help us as we followed Him.

“If it’s my choice,” I thought, “then I choose him.”

I was contemplating my decision to marry Nathan when I came across this sentence in Moroni 8:16: “Perfect love casteth out all fear.”

Notes

1.   1. 
   Jason S. Carroll, Project READY, Brigham Young University, 2009. For national statistics, see Jason S. Carroll, et al., “Ready or Not? Criteria for Marriage Readiness among Emerging Adults,” Journal of Adolescent Research, 24, 2009, 366–67.
2.   2. 
   Earl C. Tingey, “The Simple Truths from Heaven—the Lord’s Pattern,” CES Fireside for Young Adults, Jan. 13, 2008.