Pride and the Priesthood

Pride and the Priesthood

DIETER F. UCHTDORF

Second Counselor in the First Presidency

Pride is a switch that turns off priesthood power. Humility is a switch that turns it on.
My dear brothers, thank you for assembling all around the world for this priesthood session of general conference. Your presence shows your commitment to stand, wherever you are, with your brothers who bear the holy priesthood and serve and honor your Lord and Redeemer, Jesus Christ.

Often we mark the span of our lives by events that leave imprints on our minds and hearts. There are many such events in my life, one of which happened in 1989 when I heard a timeless sermon by President Ezra Taft Benson, “Beware of Pride.” In the introduction it was noted that this topic had been weighing heavily on President Benson’s soul for some time. 1

I have felt a similar burden during the past months. The promptings of the Holy Spirit have urged me to add my voice as another witness to President Benson’s message delivered 21 years ago.

Every mortal has at least a casual if not intimate relationship with the sin of pride. No one has avoided it; few overcome it. When I told my wife that this would be the topic of my talk, she smiled and said, “It is so good that you talk about things you know so much about.”

Other Meanings of Pride
I also remember one interesting side effect of President Benson’s influential talk. For a while it almost became taboo among Church members to say that they were “proud” of their children or their country or that they took “pride” in their work. The very word pride seemed to become an outcast in our vocabulary.

In the scriptures we find plenty of examples of good and righteous people who rejoice in righteousness and at the same time glory in the goodness of God. Our Heavenly Father Himself introduced His Beloved Son with the words “in whom I am well pleased.” 2

Alma gloried in the thought that he might “be an instrument in the hands of God.” 3 The Apostle Paul gloried in the faithfulness of members of the Church. 4 The great missionary Ammon gloried in the success he and his brothers had experienced as missionaries. 5

I believe there is a difference between being proud of certain things and being prideful. I am proud of many things. I am proud of my wife. I am proud of our children and grandchildren.

I am proud of the youth of the Church, and I rejoice in their goodness. I am proud of you, my dear and faithful brethren. I am proud to stand shoulder to shoulder with you as a bearer of the holy priesthood of God.

Pride Is the Sin of Self-Elevation
So what is the difference between this kind of feeling and the pride that President Benson called “the universal sin”? 6 Pride is sinful, as President Benson so memorably taught, because it breeds hatred or hostility and places us in opposition to God and our fellowmen. At its core, pride is a sin of comparison, for though it usually begins with “Look how wonderful I am and what great things I have done,” it always seems to end with “Therefore, I am better than you.”

When our hearts are filled with pride, we commit a grave sin, for we violate the two great commandments. 7 Instead of worshipping God and loving our neighbor, we reveal the real object of our worship and love—the image we see in the mirror.

Pride is the great sin of self-elevation. It is for so many a personal Rameumptom, a holy stand that justifies envy, greed, and vanity. 8 In a sense, pride is the original sin, for before the foundations of this earth, pride felled Lucifer, a son of the morning “who was in authority in the presence of God.” 9 If pride can corrupt one as capable and promising as this, should we not examine our own souls as well?

Pride Has Many Faces
Pride is a deadly cancer. It is a gateway sin that leads to a host of other human weaknesses. In fact, it could be said that every other sin is, in essence, a manifestation of pride.

This sin has many faces. It leads some to revel in their own perceived self-worth, accomplishments, talents, wealth, or position. They count these blessings as evidence of being “chosen,” “superior,” or “more righteous” than others. This is the sin of “Thank God I am more special than you.” At its core is the desire to be admired or envied. It is the sin of self-glorification.

For others, pride turns to envy: they look bitterly at those who have better positions, more talents, or greater possessions than they do. They seek to hurt, diminish, and tear down others in a misguided and unworthy attempt at self-elevation. When those they envy stumble or suffer, they secretly cheer.

The Laboratory of Sports
Perhaps there is no better laboratory to observe the sin of pride than the world of sports. I have always loved participating in and attending sporting events. But I confess there are times when the lack of civility in sports is embarrassing. How is it that normally kind and compassionate human beings can be so intolerant and filled with hatred toward an opposing team and its fans?

I have watched sports fans vilify and demonize their rivals. They look for any flaw and magnify it. They justify their hatred with broad generalizations and apply them to everyone associated with the other team. When ill fortune afflicts their rival, they rejoice.

Brethren, unfortunately we see today too often the same kind of attitude and behavior spill over into the public discourse of politics, ethnicity, and religion.

My dear brethren of the priesthood, my beloved fellow disciples of the gentle Christ, should we not hold ourselves to a higher standard? As priesthood bearers, we must realize that all of God’s children wear the same jersey. Our team is the brotherhood of man. This mortal life is our playing field. Our goal is to learn to love God and to extend that same love toward our fellowman. We are here to live according to His law and establish the kingdom of God. We are here to build, uplift, treat fairly, and encourage all of Heavenly Father’s children.

We Must Not Inhale
When I was called as a General Authority, I was blessed to be tutored by many of the senior Brethren in the Church. One day I had the opportunity to drive President James E. Faust to a stake conference. During the hours we spent in the car, President Faust took the time to teach me some important principles about my assignment. He explained also how gracious the members of the Church are, especially to General Authorities. He said, “They will treat you very kindly. They will say nice things about you.” He laughed a little and then said, “Dieter, be thankful for this. But don’t you ever inhale it.”

That is a good lesson for us all, brethren, in any calling or life situation. We can be grateful for our health, wealth, possessions, or positions, but when we begin to inhale it—when we become obsessed with our status; when we focus on our own importance, power, or reputation; when we dwell upon our public image and believe our own press clippings—that’s when the trouble begins; that’s when pride begins to corrupt.

There are plenty of warnings about pride in the scriptures: “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” 10

The Apostle Peter warned that “God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” 11 Mormon explained, “None is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart.” 12 And by design, the Lord chooses “the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty.” 13 The Lord does this to show that His hand is in His work, lest we “trust in the arm of flesh.” 14

We are servants of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are not given the priesthood so that we can take our bows and bask in praise. We are here to roll up our sleeves and go to work. We are enlisted in no ordinary task. We are called to prepare the world for the coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We seek not our own honor but give praise and glory to God. We know that the contribution we can make by ourselves is small; nevertheless, as we exercise the power of the priesthood in righteousness, God can cause a great and marvelous work to come forth through our efforts. We must learn, as Moses did, that “man is nothing” 15 by himself but that “with God all things are possible.” 16

Jesus Christ Is the Perfect Example of Humility
In this, as in all things, Jesus Christ is our perfect example. Whereas Lucifer tried to change the Father’s plan of salvation and obtain honor for himself, the Savior said, “Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.” 17 Despite His magnificent abilities and accomplishments, the Savior was always meek and humble.

Brethren, we hold “the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God.” 18 It is the power God has granted to men on earth to act for Him. In order to exercise His power, we must strive to be like the Savior. This means that in all things we seek to do the will of the Father, just as the Savior did. 19 It means that we give all glory to the Father, just as the Savior did. 20 It means that we lose ourselves in the service of others, just as the Savior did.

Pride is a switch that turns off priesthood power. 21 Humility is a switch that turns it on.

Be Humble and Full of Love
So how do we conquer this sin of pride that is so prevalent and so damaging? How do we become more humble?

It is almost impossible to be lifted up in pride when our hearts are filled with charity. “No one can assist in this work except he shall be humble and full of love.” 22 When we see the world around us through the lens of the pure love of Christ, we begin to understand humility.

Some suppose that humility is about beating ourselves up. Humility does not mean convincing ourselves that we are worthless, meaningless, or of little value. Nor does it mean denying or withholding the talents God has given us. We don’t discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving God and our fellowman.

Humility directs our attention and love toward others and to Heavenly Father’s purposes. Pride does the opposite. Pride draws its energy and strength from the deep wells of selfishness. The moment we stop obsessing with ourselves and lose ourselves in service, our pride diminishes and begins to die.

My dear brethren, there are so many people in need whom we could be thinking about instead of ourselves. And please don’t ever forget your own family, your own wife. There are so many ways we could be serving. We have no time to become absorbed in ourselves.

I once owned a pen that I loved to use during my career as an airline captain. By simply turning the shaft, I could choose one of four colors. The pen did not complain when I wanted to use red ink instead of blue. It did not say to me, “I would rather not write after 10:00 p.m., in heavy fog, or at high altitudes.” The pen did not say, “Use me only for important documents, not for the daily mundane tasks.” With greatest reliability it performed every task I needed, no matter how important or insignificant. It was always ready to serve.

In a similar way we are tools in the hands of God. When our heart is in the right place, we do not complain that our assigned task is unworthy of our abilities. We gladly serve wherever we are asked. When we do this, the Lord can use us in ways beyond our understanding to accomplish His work.

Let me conclude with words from President Ezra Taft Benson’s inspired message of 21 years ago:

“Pride is the great stumbling block to Zion.

“We must cleanse the inner vessel by conquering pride. … 23

“We must yield ‘to the enticings of the Holy Spirit,’ put off the prideful ‘natural man,’ become ‘a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord,’ and become ‘as a child, submissive, meek, humble.’ … 24

“God will have a humble people. … ‘Blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble.’ … 25

“Let us choose to be humble. We can do it. I know we can.” 26

My beloved brethren, let us follow the example of our Savior and reach out to serve rather than seeking the praise and honor of men. It is my prayer that we will recognize and root out unrighteous pride in our hearts and that we will replace it with “righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, [and] meekness.” 27 In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

References


1. See Ezra Taft Benson, “Beware of Pride,” Ensign, May 1989, 4.


2.  3 Nephi 11:7.


3.  Alma 29:9.


4. See 2 Thessalonians 1:4.


5. See Alma 26.


6. Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign, May 1989, 6.


7. See Matthew 22:36–40.


8. See Alma 31:21.


9.  Doctrine and Covenants 76:25.


10.  Proverbs 13:10.


11.  1 Peter 5:5.


12.  Moroni 7:44.


13.  1 Corinthians 1:27.


14.  Doctrine and Covenants 1:19.


15.  Moses 1:10.


16.  Matthew 19:26.


17. See Moses 4:1–2.


18.  Doctrine and Covenants 107:3.


19. See John 8:28–29.


20. See John 17:4.


21. See Doctrine and Covenants 121:34–37.


22.  Doctrine and Covenants 12:8.


23. See Alma 6:2–4; Matthew 23:25–26.


24.  Mosiah 3:19; see also Alma 13:28.


25.  Alma 32:16.


26. Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign, May 1989, 6–7.


27.  1 Timothy 6:11.

The Tragic Dimensions of Saul

The Tragic Dimensions of Saul

BY RICHARD G. ELLSWORTH

The Tragic Dimensions of Saul
Among Old Testament narratives, the life of King Saul stands out in its tragedy. Saul’s life consists of a series of situations and decisions that, because of his character, cause his own death, the deaths of his loved ones, and the destruction of all his hopes.

Traditionally, tragedy presents an account of a man in high position, often placed there beyond or even against his own will, who, because of some fault in his character, or some folly, or even some unintentional mistake, meets personal catastrophe and falls. The story tells of his choices, his recognition of his dire situation, and his final struggle against the inevitable.

Tragic heroes may be both good and bad. They are often foolish, shortsighted, and ambitious, yet brave and courageous. They are sometimes wicked. They are people torn apart by their struggling within traps they themselves may have made.

The tragedy of Saul, seen in this classical perspective, is further enhanced by the Hebrew concept that loss of rapport with God is the worst of mortality’s hazards. Nothing is worse than having God depart from one’s life; no punishment is as bad as isolation from the Divine Presence. In Greek tragedy, to fight against one’s fate, even the dictum of the gods, is the highest of tragic effort—a noble enterprise. But for the Hebrews, to fight against their God was never admirable, never noble. It was rebellion, arrogance, and unthinkable pride. It was the very height of foolishness. Tragic Saul meets both classical and Hebrew perspectives. What makes his story truly tragic, however, is the fact that Saul is not a fictional character; he actually lived and suffered the consequences of his tragic failures.

Saul’s tragic flaw was pride, often manifested as a fear of criticism and a love of popular approval. This flaw resulted in a tendency to make significant errors in judgment that consistently resulted in complication and misfortune. But Saul also had great strength and courage. Faced with God’s condemnation, Saul did not duck or hide but turned toward his future with violent and almost foolhardy bravery, yet without repentance, and determined to fight the Lord’s condemnation. In his attempt to force God to reverse the divine decision against him, Saul changed from one who was humble and pure, chosen of the Lord to receive great promised blessings, to one who stood angry, alone, and impenitent.

Saul was elevated to high position almost against his will. Chosen by God, he was literally brought in off the street by Samuel the Prophet and notified of his calling. He was reluctant, and Samuel, as a sign of validity, told him not only what would happen to him on the way home, but also that he would be chosen by lot at the meeting of the tribes at Gilgal and publicly anointed king. When the lot fell upon him at Gilgal as Samuel had foretold, Saul was hiding, and the Lord had to reveal his whereabouts. This was a foreshadow of the pattern to come.

The high position Saul was brought to was difficult, to say the least. As the newly anointed king of Israel, he was actually a substitute. Jehovah was the true king of Israel. Samuel made this ominously clear to the people in his discourse to them on kingship before Saul was ever chosen. Saul, too, was clearly told of his tenuous position. He was to be the civil representative of the true king, Jehovah, whom the people had rejected. When Saul overreached his place as vassal to the real king, God rejected him. It is in Saul’s determined struggle against this fateful pronouncement that his character achieves tragic dimension and consequence.

Saul had many good qualities. At the beginning of this real-life drama, he showed a simple faith. Searching for his father’s lost asses, he was willing to ask Samuel, the seer, for revelation to find them. Later, after accepting his kingship, he proved wise in managing the people who opposed him. He was a strong leader and a courageous warrior. Victorious in battle at Jabesh-gilead, he was quick to give God the honor. In these early years, he was humble and exemplary, leading the people to know God’s superior will and power, willing to ask the prophet Samuel for counsel. And the Lord approved of Saul and gave him the spirit of prophecy and a new heart.

But, as time passed and Saul’s reign solidified, character traits appeared in Saul that resulted in catastrophe. He was impetuous, often rash in his judgments, almost thoughtless in his conclusions. Passionate, he was swift to anger, quick to violence. He stubbornly held strong allegiances that, at times, led to mistaken judgments, while at the same time forsaking other allegiances that would have helped him. He slowly became insensitive, even calloused, in his relationships with other people. To achieve his ends, he was willing to manipulate others, even his own loved ones. He feared criticism. He developed a great need for popular approval. This last weakness was the major consequence of his stubborn pride, which was his tragic flaw.

Saul’s insecurity showed early in the drama. Too often, under pressure, he chose to do what he thought would give him popular approval, regardless of an opposing commandment of God. For example, faced with an immense Philistine invasion—thirty thousand chariots, six thousand horsemen, and innumerable foot soldiers—Saul made such a decision. With only six hundred men, he had great need for divine help. Samuel had told him that he would come to make the required offerings before the battle. But as the Philistine horror built, Saul saw his people leaving. He took it upon himself to offer the required sacrifices as a means to hold people to him. When Samuel arrived, he condemned Saul. Saul said defensively that the people were scattering from him and that he “forced” himself to make the offerings, but Samuel answered, “Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the Lord.” (1 Sam. 13:13.)

In the battle that followed, Saul’s need for popular approval showed again. In a moment of zeal, Saul proclaimed a day of fasting. “Cursed be the man,” he cried, “that eateth any food until evening, that I may be avenged on mine enemies.” (1 Sam. 14:24.) Saul’s motive was good. He meant to secure the help of the Lord in winning a victory. But impetuously, he ruled that anyone who broke the fast should die. And that very morning, his son Jonathan, unaware of his father’s proclamation of the fast, had begun the battle with a heroic exploit against the Philistines. In the course of the battle that developed, Jonathan scooped some honey from a honeycomb and ate it. The soldiers who were with him told him of his father’s oath, and Jonathan replied that the fast was foolish—that soldiers should not go into battle on empty stomachs. Immediately, the soldiers took this as justification for breaking the fast, killing the animals they captured, even eating the meat with the blood, contrary to the law of Moses. When King Saul heard this, he quickly called for all to come to a central place so the meat could be rightly slaughtered and cooked, and the proper offerings made.

After the victory feasting was over, Saul again sought guidance from the Lord, but God did not answer. Saul blamed his separation from the Lord on the broken fast instead of on his own disobedience. He cried out that the man who caused this should die. The blame fell upon Jonathan, and when Jonathan reported what he had done, Saul said stubbornly, “Thou shalt surely die.” (1 Sam. 14:44.) But the people called out for Jonathan, saying that he had caused a great victory that day and that he shouldn’t die. Saul then changed his mind, granting his son amnesty. Not only was his proclamation of the fast not wise, but the threat of death to the violator of his edict was excessive and totally undeserved; it was meant to prove Saul’s devotion, and as such was dishonest and hypocritical.

Saul’s final rupture with the prophet Samuel and with the Lord was caused by this same weakness. The Lord commanded Saul to destroy the Amalekites—every man, woman, and child; every ox, sheep, and camel; everything that belonged to the Amalekites. So Saul chased the enemy from Havilah to Shur, but he allowed his people to bring home the best sheep and oxen. Saul himself captured the Amalekite king, Agag, and proudly brought him back alive.

Confronted by Samuel, Saul made many excuses. He tried first to say that he had fulfilled the commandments of God, but Samuel rejected that—“What meaneth then this bleating of the sheep in mine ears, and the lowing of the oxen which I hear?” Then Saul tried to blame it on the people, saying that the people had spared the best sheep and oxen “to sacrifice unto the Lord.” (1 Sam. 15:14–15.)

This is a high, climactic moment in the drama—the old prophet, loving Saul as a father loves an erring son, yet determined to deliver his fateful message from God, and Saul, desolate, convicted, lamely trying to justify himself but unable to do so. In words that surely would have been heavy with emotion, Samuel said, “I will tell thee what the Lord hath said to me this night.” And Saul, fearful, but determined to press on, replied, “Say on.” (1 Sam. 15:16.)

Samuel reminded Saul that the Lord had taken him when he was nothing and made him king over Israel, but now, when the Lord commanded him, he did not obey. Saul argued, “Yea, I have obeyed the voice of the Lord,” again blaming the people and ignoring the fact that he, the king, was responsible for the people bringing back the animals. Samuel answered him, “Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifice, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice.” (1 Sam. 15:17–22.)

Saul broke. He admitted his transgression, murmuring that he did it “because I feared the people, and I obeyed their voice.” Then he begged Samuel to forgive him, to turn again toward him, to be with him as of old that he might again be acceptable to the Lord. But Samuel would not: “Thou has rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.” As Samuel turned to leave, Saul clutched at his mantle. It tore. Samuel prophesied, “The Lord hath rent the kingdom of Israel from thee this day, and hath given it to a neighbour of thine, that is better than thou.” (1 Sam. 15:24–28.)

This was the tragic moment of truth for Saul. Plaintively, Saul begged Samuel to stay to make offerings “before the elders of my people, and before Israel.” Samuel acquiesced in this, but, before doing so, he himself killed Agag, as the Lord had commanded Saul to do. And when the sacrifices were over, Samuel left, never to see Saul again in this life.

In fiction, tragic heroes struggle valiantly against their reversed fortune. In Saul’s case, truth shadows fiction, for he spent the rest of his life struggling against just such a reversal. Saul was no quitter. He was no coward. But he was proud and would not repent. Realizing that his blessings and kingdom had indeed been given to another, he looked about to see who this might be.

Before long, he decided that it was his foster son David, youthful hero of the combat with Goliath. After David’s victory, Saul had taken David into his own household. In time, David had grown to be a successful army commander, one whom Saul trusted. The realization that David was the one chosen of the Lord came as a shock to Saul. As Saul and his soldiers returned from victory, the people came out to meet them. Dancing and singing, the women proclaimed that Saul had slain his thousands, but that David had slain his tens of thousands. With mounting anger, Saul realized that David had the popularity he had so much wanted but had never fully received. From that moment on, Saul sought to take David’s life.

In his struggle against God, Saul’s efforts reached great intensity. His heart was torn; he saw not only his people leave him, but even members of his own family turn against him. Saul had hoped to use his daughter Michal as a temptation to get David killed by the Philistines. But David survived and married Michal. Later, she lied to her father and helped David escape when Saul commanded his soldiers to kill David while he slept.

Saul’s son Jonathan, his favorite and apparent heir to the kingdom, also loved David, admitting freely that he knew David would rule in his place. He beseeched David not to destroy his children when that time came. Old King Saul, heartsick and angry, struggling to maintain the kingdom and give it to Jonathan, spoke to his son: “As long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die.” (1 Sam. 20:31.) But Jonathan defended David, and Saul, angered beyond control, cast his spear at his own son.

Jonathan helped David flee into the wilderness. There David’s followers gathered about him, hiding in the hills and mountain fortresses by the Dead Sea. David had already sought out Samuel the prophet for counsel and advice. He also went to the priests at Nob for help, and Saul, hearing of this, had the priests and their families put to death.

Saul had lost all control. As he struggled against the decision of God, personified in David, he became more and more aware that his efforts were futile. But this dawning recognition was at war with his stubborn will. There was no fault in David—David respected Saul as the anointed of the Lord. Twice he spared Saul’s life—first in the dark cave at En-Gedi, and second in Saul’s camp in the wilderness of Ziff. Realizing this, Saul wept and cried aloud, admitting his evil to David and calling out plaintively to him that he, too, knew that David would surely be king over Israel.

The final days of Saul’s tragic life are heightened by his growing paranoia and his terrible need for help outside himself. Formerly, he had been able to appeal to God, to the prophet Samuel, and to the priests. Now, however, “when Saul enquired of the Lord, the Lord answered him not, neither by dreams, nor by Urim, nor by prophets.” (1 Sam. 28:6.) He was completely alone. Samuel was dead, and Saul himself had murdered the priests. Saul’s own family no longer respected him. The people whom he had sought to serve refused to support him.

“All of you have conspired against me,” Saul cried at Gibeah. “There is none of you that is sorry for me.” (1 Sam. 22:8.) Yet Saul did not repent; neither did he change.

At the last, faced by a vast horde of Philistines gathered at Mount Gilboa to do battle against him, Saul was filled with fear. Crazed and abandoned, he turned at last to those he had formerly condemned. In disguise, he went to the witch of En-dor, a spiritualist, and asked her to call up Samuel from the dead.

This is the great culminating event in Saul’s descent to evil. Saul had completed his personal tragedy. Originally clean and pure, chosen by the Lord himself and given a new heart, Saul had been personally directed by the prophet of God. But now he sought revelation through a witch. He had become a liar, an equivocator, a cheat, a thief, and a murderer. Now, confused in mind and darkened in spirit, he sought help from satanic sources. It was a powerful moment. A deceiving spirit, appearing as Samuel, rebuked Saul and pronounced the final curse: “The Lord will also deliver Israel with thee into the hand of the Philistines … To morrow shalt thou and thy sons be with me.” (1 Sam. 28:19; see also 1 Sam. 28:15.)

It was the end. But Saul did not weep or don sackcloth in ashes. Beyond repentance, he turned deliberately toward the impending battle, perhaps in the dreaded hope that he might yet disprove this last prophecy. But in the great battle that followed, as he looked around and saw his three sons lying dead beside him, Saul himself, already wounded by archers, fell upon his sword and died.

Tragically, the ironic spiral of Saul’s life ended where it began. It was at Gilgal that young Saul was ordained king; it was also at Gilgal that he was condemned by the Lord. And it was by Mount Gilboa where, in the power of the Lord, Saul had won his first great battle against the Ammonites, rescuing Jabesh-gilead, unifying Israel, and establishing his reign. It was again by Mount Gilboa that he fought his last battle—but this time under God’s condemnation. The battle, kingdom, and Saul’s life were lost.

Saul’s tale is full of tragic cyclic ironies, from his initial unwillingness to accept the honor of being king to the final irony of his dying by his own hand in order to maintain that honor. It is ironic that he should take into his own house David, his already anointed successor, and that David should marry Saul’s daughter and become a prince in Saul’s own household. It is ironic that Saul’s great son Jonathan, obviously Saul’s choice as heir, preferred David, his rival, even over himself, and willingly and even thankfully saved David’s life while Saul sought to destroy him.

It is ironic that Saul, seeking to destroy David, only heightened David’s popularity and strengthened David’s position. Saul, having been given the great calling (“for now would the Lord have established thy kingdom upon Israel forever”) and the freedom to function within it, allowed himself through pride and fear, jealousy and anger, to lose control and compel his own destruction (“but now thy kingdom shall not continue”). Saul, in seeking to force the original blessings, found himself at last at war against the very forces that could have granted them. Ironically, his actions forced Samuel, who loved him, to condemn him and tell him that the Lord had deposed him.

The life of Saul, king of Israel, as we have it in the Bible, contains many of the elements of tragedy, making it one of the most moving and instructive accounts in all the scriptures.


Richard G. Ellsworth, professor emeritus of English at Brigham Young University, serves as high priests group leader in the Oak Hills First Ward, Oak Hills Utah Stake.

Oneness in Marriage

By President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985)

Adapted from a devotional address given at Brigham Young University on 7 September 1976. The full text is published in a Deseret Book Company book, Marriage and Divorce.

Honorable, happy, and successful marriage is surely the principal goal of every normal person. Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but also with eternal joys. It affects not only the two people involved, but also their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations.

In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts. Emotions must not wholly determine decisions, but the mind and the heart, strengthened by fasting and prayer and serious consideration, will give one a maximum chance of marital happiness. It brings with it sacrifice, sharing, and a demand for great selflessness.

Many of the TV screen shows and stories of fiction end with marriage: “They lived happily ever after.” We have come to realize that the mere performance of a ceremony does not bring happiness and a successful marriage. Happiness does not come by pressing a button, as does the electric light; happiness is a state of mind and comes from within. It must be earned. It cannot be purchased with money; it cannot be taken for nothing.

Some think of happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but true marriage is based on a happiness which is more than that, one which comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness.

Two people coming from different backgrounds learn soon after the ceremony is performed that stark reality must be faced. There is no longer a life of fantasy or of make-believe; we must come out of the clouds and put our feet firmly on the earth. Responsibility must be assumed and new duties must be accepted. Some personal freedoms must be relinquished, and many adjustments, unselfish adjustments, must be made.

One comes to realize very soon after marriage that the spouse has weaknesses not previously revealed or discovered. The virtues which were constantly magnified during courtship now grow relatively smaller, and the weaknesses which seemed so small and insignificant during courtship now grow to sizable proportions. The hour has come for understanding hearts, for self-appraisal, and for good common sense, reasoning, and planning. The habits of years now show themselves; the spouse may be stingy or prodigal, lazy or industrious, devout or irreligious; he may be kind and cooperative or petulant and cross, demanding or giving, egotistical or self-effacing. The in-law problem comes closer into focus, and the relationship of the spouse to them is again magnified.

Worldly Pressures

Often there is an unwillingness to settle down and to assume the heavy responsibilities that immediately are there. Economy is reluctant to replace lavish living, and the young people seem often too eager “to keep up with the Joneses.” There is often an unwillingness to make the financial adjustments necessary. Young wives are often demanding that all the luxuries formerly enjoyed in the prosperous homes of their successful fathers be continued in their own homes. Some of them are quite willing to help earn that lavish living by continuing employment after marriage. They consequently leave the home, where their duty lies, to pursue professional or business pursuits, thus establishing an economy that becomes stabilized so that it becomes very difficult to yield toward the normal family life. Through both spouses’ working, competition rather than cooperation enters the family. Two weary workers return home with taut nerves, individual pride, increased independence, and then misunderstandings arise. Little frictions pyramid into monumental ones.

While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person. “Soul mates” are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.

There is a never-failing formula which will guarantee to every couple a happy and eternal marriage; but like all formulas, the principal ingredients must not be left out, reduced, or limited. The selection before courting and then the continued courting after the marriage process are equally important, but not more important than the marriage itself, the success of which depends upon the two individuals—not upon one, but upon two.

In a marriage commenced and based upon reasonable standards as already mentioned, there are not combinations of power which can destroy it except the power within either or both of the spouses themselves; and they must assume the responsibility generally. Other people and agencies may influence for good or bad. Financial, social, political, and other situations may seem to have a bearing; but the marriage depends first and always on the two spouses who can always make their marriage successful and happy if they are determined, unselfish, and righteous.

The formula is simple; the ingredients are few, though there are many amplifications of each.

First, there must be the proper approach toward marriage, which contemplates the selection of a spouse who reaches as nearly as possible the pinnacle of perfection in all the matters which are of importance to the individuals. And then those two parties must come to the altar in the temple realizing that they must work hard toward this successful joint living.

Second, there must be a great unselfishness, forgetting self and directing all of the family life and all pertaining thereunto to the good of the family, subjugating self.

Third, there must be continued courting and expressions of affection, kindness, and consideration to keep love alive and growing.

Fourth, there must be a complete living of the commandments of the Lord as defined in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

With these ingredients properly mixed and continually kept functioning, it is quite impossible for unhappiness to come, misunderstandings to continue, or breaks to occur. Divorce attorneys would need to transfer to other fields and divorce courts would be padlocked.

Sharing and Sacrificing

Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage is not a legal coverall, but it means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all.

Before marriage, each individual is quite free to go and come as he pleases, to organize and plan his life as it seems best, to make all decisions with self as the central point. Sweethearts should realize before they take the vows that each must accept literally and fully that the good of the little new family must always be superior to the good of either spouse. Each party must eliminate the “I” and the “my” and substitute therefore “we” and “our.” Every decision must take into consideration that there are two or more affected by it. As she approaches major decisions now, the wife will be concerned as to the effect they will have upon the parents, the children, the home, and their spiritual lives. The husband’s choice of occupation, his social life, his friends, his every interest must now be considered in the light that he is only a part of a family, that the totalness of the group must be considered.

A marriage may not always be even and incidentless, but it can be one of great peace. A couple may have poverty, illness, disappointment, failures, and even death in the family, but even these will not rob them of their peace. The marriage can be a successful one so long as selfishness does not enter in. Troubles and problems will draw parents together into unbreakable unions if there is total unselfishness there. During the depression of the 1930s there was a definite drop in divorce. Poverty, failures, disappointment—they tied parents together. Adversity can cement relationships which prosperity can destroy.

The marriage that is based upon selfishness is almost certain to fail. The one who marries for wealth or the one who marries for prestige or social plane is certain to be disappointed. The one who marries to satisfy vanity and pride or who marries to spite or to show up another person is fooling only himself. But the one who marries to give happiness as well as receive it, to give service as well as to receive it, and who looks after the interests of the two and then the family as it comes will have a good chance that the marriage will be a happy one.

The Need for Nourishment

Love is like a flower, and, like the body, it needs constant feeding. The mortal body would soon be emaciated and die if there were not frequent feedings. The tender flower would wither and die without food and water. And so love, also, cannot be expected to last forever unless it is continually fed with portions of love, the manifestation of esteem and admiration, the expressions of gratitude, and the consideration of unselfishness.

Total unselfishness is sure to accomplish another factor in successful marriage. If one is forever seeking the interests, comforts, and happiness of the other, the love found in courtship and cemented in marriage will grow into mighty proportions. Many couples permit their marriages to become stale and their love to grow cold like old bread or worn-out jokes or cold gravy. Certainly the foods most vital for love are consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, concern, expressions of affection, embraces of appreciation, admiration, pride, companionship, confidence, faith, partnership, equality, and interdependence.

To be really happy in marriage, one must have a continued faithful observance of the commandments of the Lord. No one, single or married, was ever sublimely happy unless he was righteous. There are temporary satisfactions and camouflaged situations for the moment, but permanent, total happiness can come only through cleanliness and worthiness. One who has a pattern of religious life with deep religious convictions can never be happy in an inactive life. The conscience will continue to afflict, unless it has been seared, in which case the marriage is already in jeopardy. A stinging conscience can make life most unbearable. Inactivity is destructive to marriage, especially where the parties are inactive in varying degrees.

Religious differences are the most trying and among the most unsolvable of all differences.

Marriage is ordained of God. It is not merely a social custom. Without proper and successful marriage, one will never be exalted. Read the words of your Lord, that it is right and proper to be married.

That being true, the thoughtful and intelligent Latter-day Saint will plan his life carefully to be sure there are no impediments placed in the way. By making one serious mistake, one may place in the way obstacles which may never be removed and which may block the way to eternal life and godhood—our ultimate destiny. If two people love the Lord more than their own lives and then love each other more than their own lives, working together in total harmony with the gospel program as their basic structure, they are sure to have this great happiness. When a husband and wife go together frequently to the holy temple, kneel in prayer together in their home with their family, go hand in hand to their religious meetings, keep their lives wholly chaste—mentally and physically—so that their whole thoughts and desires and loves are all centered in the one being, their companion, and both work together for the upbuilding of the kingdom of God, then happiness is at its pinnacle.

Cleave to “None Else”

Sometimes in marriage there are other cleavings, in spite of the fact that the Lord said, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22).

This means just as completely that “thou shalt love thy husband with all thy heart and shall cleave unto him and none else.” Frequently, people continue to cleave unto their mothers and their fathers and their chums. Sometimes mothers will not relinquish the hold they have had upon their children, and husbands as well as wives return to their mothers and fathers to obtain advice and counsel and to confide, whereas cleaving should be to the wife in most things, and all intimacies should be kept in great secrecy and privacy from others.

Couples do well to immediately find their own home, separate and apart from that of the in-laws on either side. The home may be very modest and unpretentious, but still it is an independent domicile. Your married life should become independent of her folks and his folks. You love them more than ever; you cherish their counsel; you appreciate their association; but you live your own lives, being governed by your decisions, by your own prayerful considerations after you have received the counsel from those who should give it. To cleave does not mean merely to occupy the same home; it means to adhere closely, to stick together:

“Wherefore, it is lawful that … they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation;

“And that it might be filled with the measure of man, according to his creation before the world was made” (D&C 49:16–17).

Brothers and sisters, may I say this is the word of the Lord. It is very, very serious, and there is nobody who should argue with the Lord. He made the earth; He made the people. He knows the conditions. He set the program, and we are not intelligent enough or smart enough to be able to argue Him out of these important things. He knows what is right and true.

We ask you to think of these things. Be sure that your marriage is right. Be sure that your life is right. Be sure that your part of the marriage is carried forward properly.

Twenty Ways to Make a Good Marriage Great

By Richard W. Linford

1. Night and Morning Prayer … to say thanks, to ask for help in your marriage and family, to worship together.

2. A Weekly Planning Meeting … to discuss the calendar, talk over needs and problems, decide priorities and next steps. (Write decisions in a journal, including goals and discussion topics, and reasons for each.)

3. A Daily Phone Call or Personal Conversation … to say “I love you,” to touch base, to discuss the day, to show you care.

4. A Weekly Date … to a favorite park, a concert, the library, the gym; or staying home for a candlelight dinner, a game, or a mutual hobby.

5. Patience Regardless … of missed meals, tardiness, forgotten favors, a thoughtless remark, impatience.

6. Daily Service … helping with house or yard work, mending a piece of clothing, taking a turn with the sick baby, fixing a favorite meal. (Write it down. Do it!)

7. A Budget … to tie down income and expenses, help set financial goals, and give you control over your finances.

8. Listening … not only to what is said, but also to what is meant.

9. Regular Attendance … at church—and where possible—the temple.

10. Daily Scripture Reading … to learn the gospel, to receive inspiration for yourself and your marriage, to become more like Jesus.

11. Working Together … caring for a garden, painting a bedroom, washing the car, scrubbing floors, building a piece of furniture, writing a poem together, team teaching a class.

12. Forgiving Each Other … always learning from each other, trying a different way, being the first to make peace.

13. Courtesies … like saying please and thank you, not interrupting or belittling, not doing all the talking, continuing the niceties of courtship.

14. Soft and Kind Words … of tenderness, compassion, empathy.

15. Learning Together by … reading to each other, discussing ideas, taking a class.

16. Respecting … opinions, ideas, privacy.

17. Supporting Your Spouse’s … Church callings and righteous goals.

18. Caring for Your Spouse’s Family by … enjoying their company, praying for them, serving them, overlooking differences.

19. Occasional Gifts … such as a note, a needed item—but mostly gifts of time and self.

20. Loving with All Your Heart. “Thou shalt love thy wife [thy husband] with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her [him] and none else.” (D&C 42:22.)

Richard W. Linford, father of eight children and an operational auditor, is bishop of the East Millcreek Utah 11th Ward.

Selfishness vs. Selflessness

Selfishness vs. Selflessness

BY ELDER WILLIAM R. BRADFORD

Of the First Quorum of the Seventy

Remarks delivered at a BYU Devotional Assembly, 27 October 1981

Selfishness vs. Selflessness

Throughout my life I have studied the scriptures and have sought spiritual guidance regarding our Eternal Father’s plan. I have developed a mental picture which I would like to share with you.

If the veil that covers our remembrance were somehow lifted, we would see ourselves in that glorious assembly where our Eternal Father presented to us the plan of salvation and exaltation. It must have been a most interesting time, and there probably were some anxious moments of intense emotion, anticipation, pondering, and discussion. Father was about his work, teaching us how to exercise our agency by unfolding truth to our understanding.

As these truths unfolded, there must have been many concerns on our part—questions about the creation of the earth; our leaving Father’s presence; our need for physical bodies; the veil; living by faith; symbolic ordinances; death and resurrection; conditions upon which our return to Father were based.

There must have been anxiety when we learned of the need to leave our Father and come to this earth through a veil of forgetfulness. We must have known that there would be opposition, choices to make, the possibility of mistakes and failure. If we forgot all, how would we know the right thing to do or how to do it?

It must have been a great comfort as Father made covenants with us to send one member of the Godhead to be a guide and companion—one with delegated power to communicate the truths of the plan to us, that by the power of spiritual communication we could make correct decisions and grow and mature after the nature of our Father, who is a God. We know this great counselor as the Holy Ghost.

A pattern began to unfold as the Father taught us. It must have been obvious that there would be many things that we could not do for ourselves.

We would not be able to provide for ourselves the physical bodies we would need to become like Father. And once given bodies, we would not have power during our infancy to sustain ourselves. Some would need to serve us by being our parents. It would not be possible for us to create, nor control after its creation, the world upon which we were to be placed. This world would have a delicate environment—its relationship to the sun, the need for rain and fertile soil to sustain life, the governing laws of gravity and electricity, the elements and their reaction with each other would all have to be assured for us. And since we would have no real power over these things, someone would have to control them for us.

We also learned that our physical bodies would be temporary and subject to weakness, disease, and finally death. If we were to return to Father with bodies like his, someone would have to do something for us to reunite our spirit and physical bodies after the pattern in which God our Father created us.

There were some other serious needs. It was clear to us that because of the influence of opposition we would make mistakes. Since Father taught us that these mistakes constituted sin, and that no sinful thing could return to his presence, we were faced with a dilemma. There would have to be a way to overcome these mistakes. Someone would have to intercede for our sins—a Redeemer. Who would it be?

A sense of calm and peace must have then come to us as the Father made covenants to give us a Redeemer who would have power to do all things for us that we could not do for ourselves. He would sustain the world in the laws by which it was to be governed. He would take upon himself our sins and die for us that we might live eternally. He would govern the truths taught us, that we might walk in light.

Opposed to that plan was Satan, who came before the Father and issued the most selfish of all statements ever spoken in the heavens: “Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.” (Moses 4:1.)

Then the most selfless of all service in the heavens or upon earth was offered as Christ, the “Beloved Son, which was … Beloved and Chosen from the beginning,” came before Father and said, “Thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.” (Moses 4:2.)

By holy covenant between Father and his children, Jesus Christ was sent to serve us in all things—to do all things for us that we cannot do for ourselves.

The laws and covenants were clear to us. They required that we come to this earth to work through the natural processes of growth and maturing that will take us back to Father. We are to work through this process. The work is one of serving and being served. The pattern is clear.

Our eternal destiny is welded to our service to others. At the very foundation of our existence is interdependence upon one another. Happiness can be obtained only by establishing the proffer balance between serving and being served. We are social beings; we cannot live in happiness if we attempt to live alone. Self-imposed celibacy and isolationism are extreme expressions of selfishness and an unwillingness to serve or be served.

A mother serves by giving birth to a child and continues her service throughout the child’s life. For life to continue, the process must repeat itself. When one is serving, another is being served. Faith, love of God and fellowman, patriotism, and self-esteem all depend on how we practice serving and being served.

Perhaps this principle is best defined as selflessness—the giving of oneself both in serving others and in being served by others.

In infancy and childhood we are predominantly served. Our parents provide us with food, clothing, shelter, and they nourish our spirits with love and companionship. But the very act of acceptance is a returning of the gift to the giver. Parents find joy and comfort in the progress of the child—a joy which falters only when their service is rejected through disobedience. Their selflessness becomes its own reward and encourages them to keep giving of themselves despite the setbacks.

If the relationship we have built as children with our parents has had the proper balance of selflessness, we will have developed kinship ties that no physical separation can ever break. And when the time comes to seek for ourselves expanded experiences and companionships, we will maintain joy in the beautiful companionship with our parents that has been created.

Very often, as young adults move away from the home environment, they suffer a tremendous emotional shock. Suddenly the balance of service and being served is drastically altered. Friendships are new and unproven, and old relationships seem distant. We call this homesickness. It is a period of adjustment and growth, when parent-child relationships undergo a transformation and we become involved in teacher-student or employer-employee relationships. As these peer relationships are added to our kindred relationships, the need to understand the principles of selflessness becomes increasingly important.

In order to understand selflessness we must also understand its opposite, selfishness. Selfishness is closing the door on service to others, and refusing to allow others to serve us in love. At the same time, we attempt to serve ourselves or wrongly exact service from others.

In its simplest form, selfishness is the holding to one’s self that which he has power to righteously share. The greed or lust or wrongful intent soon creates men whose “hearts are not satisfied,” and who “obey not the truth, but have pleasure in unrighteousness.” These are they who “will not give [their] substance to the poor. … whose spirits are not contrite, and whose bellies are not satisfied, and whose hands are not stayed from laying hold upon other men’s goods, whose eyes are full of greediness, and who will not labor with [their] own hands!” (D&C 56:15–17.)

That which a man serves himself upon the platter of selfishness and greed may appease his mortal appetite, but it will leave him spiritually starved and malnourished.

There is no happiness in selfishness; it is a sin. Its product is misery and loneliness, and it alienates companions and develops enmity in human relationships.

Selfishness and greed, put into the heart of Cain by Satan, caused our first parents, Adam and Eve, to mourn before the Lord for him and his brethren. It was Cain’s selfishness that caused him to bind himself up to Satan and, to get gain, murder his brother Abel. Selfishness debased the children of Israel as they drank and played and corrupted themselves around the idol of the golden calf. And only selfishness could have induced Judas to betray the holy, selfless Lord.

Selfishness is the basic substance—the raw material, if you will—of almost all other sins that Satan has introduced upon the earth. Under his skillful management, this sin manifests itself in such a myriad of ways that virtually no one escapes its influence. Its magnetic tentacles stretch out and draw to itself every indulgence that can block the path to exaltation.

Greed, envy, covetousness, lust, rebellion, thievery, idleness, lying, hypocrisy, backsliding, immorality, infidelity, pride, arrogance, gluttony, and most other evils are the products of a selfish life. If we place sin in the sunlight, it will cast the shadow of selfishness.

As a thought precedes an act, so does selfishness precede sin. Immorality of every kind is founded in selfishness. Why else would a person commit an immoral act, if not to satisfy his own pleasure?

Selfishness breeds corruption as men scheme and bribe and take unfair advantage to satisfy their wants and obsessions. It becomes pride as men forsake things of eternal value, even marriage, family, and God, for supposed high position and fame.

Consider how many are unfaithful to one another—and to God—as they selfishly squander their lives and means on the evaporative pleasures of what the world holds out as fashionable.

Satan’s subtle use of selfishness causes parents to justify idling away countless hours before a television set, absorbing violence, sensuality, vulgarity, and the foolishness of the world, while their children (who are usually allowed to view the same things) are starving for affection and attention. Can such selfishness be condoned, or are they bringing condemnation upon themselves by not using this time to teach their children “the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands … to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord” (D&C 68:25, 28)?

Selfishness draws men into a spiritual vacuum where, absorbed in self service, they shut out all others.

Selfish idleness, with its “I’ll-do-it-later” attitude, keeps righteous work from being done. Since Satan has decreed to do all possible to stop righteous endeavor upon the earth, what better way than to cause men to procrastinate? Within the Church this is manifest in a failure to faithfully comply with callings. Home teaching goes unattended; tithes and offerings go unpaid. There is neglect in keeping personal histories, compiling family records, and doing temple work. There is an unwillingness to give service in the missionary effort. How it must please Satan to so influence those who could be the builders of God’s kingdom!

Of all influences that cause men to choose wrong, selfishness is undoubtedly the strongest. Where there is selfishness, the Spirit of the Lord is absent. Talents go unshared, the needs of the poor unfulfilled, the weak unstrengthened, the ignorant untaught, and the lost unrecovered.

Viewed in its true sense, selfishness is the absence of empathy and compassion. It is the abandonment of brotherhood, the rejection of, God’s plan, the isolation of ones soul. Just as selflessness can carry us to exaltation and eternal lives, so can selfishness lead us to destruction and eternal damnation.

Life too often seems a competition with others. We compete for companionship, for recognition, for possessions, for status, for money. And as we size one another up, we too often forget that our sanctification depends in part on our service to others.

We may be like the man who, came running to Jesus, asking, “What must I do to be saved?” Jesus explained to him the commandments he must live, and the man assured him that he had done all these things from his youth. Then the Savior told him he lacked but one thing. “Sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.

“And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.” (Mark 10:17–22.)

Or are we like the widow who cast her two mites into the treasury? Jesus, seeing her, said to his disciples, “This poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:

“For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.” (Mark 12:43–44.)

If we would be truly happy, our acts must be acts of selflessness, turning sadness into joy, radiating kindness, and dispelling hypocrisy. Selflessness fosters love, confidence, and trust.


Indeed, those men and women who righteously share themselves, their talents, and their means in benevolent service to God and humankind, are blessed with freedom, growth, nearness to Divinity, and worthiness to have the companionship of the Spirit.

By selflessness we demonstrate our true relationship with the Savior. It is the one great virtue that binds together the family of God.

FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE

The Marriage That Endures

By President Gordon B. Hinckley

Photograph by Jed A. Clark

As an introduction may I tell of two experiences. The first happened many years ago when I was at the new Washington D.C. Temple. A number of reporters were present on that occasion. They were curious concerning this beautiful building, different from other church buildings—different in concept, different in purpose, different concerning those who will be permitted within its sacred precincts.

I explained that, after the building is dedicated as the house of the Lord, only members of the Church in good standing will be authorized to enter, but that prior to its dedication, for a period of from a month to six weeks, visitors will be made welcome to tour the entire structure; that we are not disposed to hide it from the world, but that following the dedication, we shall regard it as being of so sacred a nature that purity of life and strict adherence to standards of the Church become qualifications for admittance.

We talked of the purposes for which temples are built. I explained those purposes, particularly emphasizing that purpose which appeals to all thoughtful men and women, namely, marriage for eternity. As I did so, I reflected on an experience at the time of the prededication showing of the London England Temple in 1958.

A Young Couple in England

On that occasion thousands of curious but earnest people stood in long lines to gain entry to the building. A policeman stationed to direct traffic observed that it was the first time he had ever seen the English eager to get into a church.

Those who inspected the building were asked to defer any questions until they had completed the tour. In the evenings I joined the missionaries in talking with those who had questions. As a young couple came down the front steps of the temple, I inquired whether I could help them in any way. The young woman spoke up and said, “Yes. What about this ‘marriage for eternity’ to which reference was made in one of the rooms?” We sat on a bench under the ancient oak that stood near the gate. The wedding band on her finger indicated that they were married, and the manner in which she gripped her husband’s hand evidenced their affection one for another.

“Now to your question,” I said. “I suppose you were married by the vicar.”

“Yes,” she responded, “just three months ago.”

“Did you realize that when the vicar pronounced your marriage he also decreed your separation?”

“What do you mean?” she quickly retorted.

“You believe that life is eternal, don’t you?”

“Of course,” she replied.

I continued, “Can you conceive of eternal life without eternal love? Can either of you envision eternal happiness without the companionship of one another?”

“Of course not,” came the ready response.

“But what did the vicar say when he pronounced your marriage? If I remember the language correctly, he said, among other things, ‘in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, till death do ye part.’ He went as far as he felt his authority would permit him and that was till death separates you. In fact, I think that if you were to question him, he would emphatically deny the existence of marriage and family beyond the grave.

“But,” I continued, “the Father of us all, who loves His children and wants the best for them, has provided for a continuation, under proper circumstances, of this most sacred and ennobling of all human relationships, the relationships of marriage and family.

“In that great and moving conversation between the Savior and His Apostles, Peter declared, ‘Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God,’ and the Lord responded, ‘Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.’ The Lord then went on to say to Peter and his associates, ‘And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven’ (see Matt. 16:13–19).

“In that marvelous bestowal of authority, the Lord gave to His Apostles the keys of the holy priesthood, whose power reaches beyond life and death into eternity. This same authority has been restored to the earth by those same Apostles who held it anciently, even Peter, James, and John.” I continued by saying that following the dedication of the temple on the following Sunday, those same keys of the holy priesthood would be exercised in behalf of the men and women who come into this sacred house to solemnize their marriage. They will be joined in a union which death cannot dissolve and time cannot destroy.

Such was my testimony to this young couple in England. Such it is to you today and such it is to all the world. Our Father in Heaven, who loves His children, desires for them that which will bring them happiness now and in the eternities to come, and there is no greater happiness than is found in the most meaningful of all human relationships—the companionships of husband and wife, parents and children.

“Is Love like a Rose?”

A number of years ago I was called to the hospital bedside of a mother in the terminal stages of a serious illness. She passed away a short time later, leaving her husband and four children, including a little boy of six. There was sorrow, deep and poignant and tragic. But shining through their tears was a faith beautiful and certain that as surely as there was now a sorrowful separation, there would someday be a glad reunion, for that marriage had begun with a sealing for time and eternity in the house of the Lord, under the authority of the holy priesthood.

Every man who truly loves a woman and every woman who truly loves a man hopes and dreams that their companionship will last forever. But marriage is a covenant sealed by authority. If that authority is of the state alone, it will endure only while the state has jurisdiction, and that jurisdiction ends with death. But add to the authority of the state the power of the endowment given by Him who overcame death, and that companionship will endure beyond life if the parties to the marriage live worthy of the promise.

When I was much younger and less brittle, we danced to a song whose words went something like this:

Is love like a rose

That blossoms and grows,

Then withers and goes

When summer is gone?

It was only a dance ballad, but it was a question that has been asked through the centuries by men and women who loved one another and looked beyond today into the future of eternity.

To that question we answer no and reaffirm that love and marriage under the revealed plan of the Lord are not like the rose that withers with the passing of summer. Rather, they are eternal, as surely as the God of heaven is eternal.

But this gift, precious beyond all others, comes only with a price—with self-discipline, with virtue, with obedience to the commandments of God. These may be difficult, but they are possible under the motivation that comes of an understanding of truth.

“Testimonies from Their Lips”

President Brigham Young (1801–77) once declared: “There is not a young man in our community who would not be willing to travel from here to England to be married right, if he understood things as they are; there is not a young woman in our community, who loves the Gospel and wishes its blessings, that would be married in any other way.” ¹

Many have traveled that far and even farther to receive the blessings of temple marriage. I have seen a group of Latter-day Saints from Japan who—before the construction of a temple in their homeland—had denied themselves food to make possible the long journey to the Laie Hawaii Temple. Before we had a temple in Johannesburg, we met those who had gone without necessities to afford the 7,000-mile (11,000-km) flight from South Africa to the temple in Surrey, England. There was a light in their eyes and smiles on their faces and testimonies from their lips that it was worth infinitely more than all it had cost.

And I remember hearing in New Zealand many years ago the testimony of a man from the far side of Australia who, having been previously sealed by civil authority and then joined the Church with his wife and children, had traveled all the way across that wide continent, then across the Tasman Sea to Auckland, and down to the temple in the beautiful valley of the Waikato. As I remember his words, he said, “We could not afford to come. Our worldly possessions consisted of an old car, our furniture, and our dishes. I said to my family, ‘We cannot afford to go.’ Then I looked into the faces of my beautiful wife and our beautiful children, and I said, ‘We cannot afford not to go. If the Lord will give me strength, I can work and earn enough for another car and furniture and dishes, but if I should lose these my loved ones, I would be poor indeed in both life and in eternity.’”

Marry Right and Live Right

How shortsighted so many of us are, how prone to look only at today without thought for the morrow. But the morrow will surely come, as will also come death and separation. How sweet is the assurance, how comforting is the peace that come from the knowledge that if we marry right and live right, our relationship will continue, notwithstanding the certainty of death and the passage of time. Men may write love songs and sing them. They may yearn and hope and dream. But all of this will be only a romantic longing unless there is an exercise of authority that transcends the powers of time and death.

Speaking many years ago, President Joseph F. Smith (1838–1918) said: “The house of the Lord is a house of order and not a house of confusion; and that means … that there is no union for time and eternity that can be perfected outside of the law of God, and the order of his house. Men may desire it, they may go through the form of it, in this life, but it will be of no effect except it be done and sanctioned by divine authority, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.” ²

In conclusion may I leave you a story. It is fiction, but in principle it is true. Can you imagine two young people at a time when the moon is full and the roses are in bloom and a sacred love has matured between them? Johnny says to Mary, “Mary, I love you. I want you for my wife and the mother of our children. But I don’t want you or them forever. Just for a season and then good-bye.” And she, looking at him through tears in the moonlight, says, “Johnny, you’re wonderful. There’s nobody else in all the world like you. I love you, and I want you for my husband and the father of our children, but only for a time and then farewell.”

That sounds foolish, doesn’t it? And yet isn’t that in effect what a man says to a woman and a woman says to a man in a proposal of marriage when given the opportunity of eternal union under “the new and everlasting covenant” (D&C 132:19), but, rather, they choose to set it aside for a substitute that can last only until death comes?

Life Eternal

Life is eternal. The God of heaven has also made possible eternal love and eternal family relationships.

God bless you, that as you look forward to or contemplate your marriage, you may look not only for rewarding companionship and rich and fruitful family relationships through all of your mortal days, but to an even better estate where love and treasured associations may be felt and known under a promise given of God.

I bear witness of the living reality of the Lord Jesus Christ, through whom this authority has come. I bear witness that His power, His priesthood, is among us and is exercised in His holy houses. Do not spurn that which He has offered. Live worthy of it and partake of it, and let the sanctifying power of His holy priesthood seal your companionship.

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